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Go Get It

January 1, 2015 By: Stephaniecomment

Backpacker

Beginnings are everywhere. 

As we stand before the blank canvas of a brand new year, that is what has been put on my heart to share with you today. 

Have you been waiting until today to start working on a resolution? Why? 

You do not have to wait for the sake of waiting. 

If there are goals that you want to achieve, work for them now. 

Maybe you have been waiting for New Year’s Day and your time is now, or maybe your time was last Tuesday in the Burger King parking lot at 3 p.m. when you decided to make a change in your life– so you did. 

The calendar does not reset our minds. We do.  

Do not set “one day” goals and resolve to do them in the future. 

You are not guaranteed a future. 

Yes, death and illness and failure happen. 

However, there is good news. 

Guess what else happens? 

Hard work and success happen. 

Goals are met, dream are achieved. 

But these dreams do not manifest themselves. 

You do that. Yes you. 

100 pound, 1 million dollar, 1 novel written dreams. 

They don’t happen every time, but they do happen. 

They happen to people who all have three things in common: 

Big Faith, Big Drive, and Big Determination. 

If you are motivated, willing to work, and you believe it will happen, then I believe it will happen for you– if not this year then maybe next. 

Whatever the “it” is for you. 

Go get it. 

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Penny Is Three

December 30, 2014 By: Stephanie2 Comments

Little Miss Penelope Christine is three today. 

Three. 

A big kid. 

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She is our baby with the keen sense of humor who suddenly turns very serious and somber whenever anybody else is around. 

She really isn’t very fond of most other people. Her idea of a good time is hanging out on the couch all day, reading and watching movies. She takes after her mother like that. She hates having her hair brushed and she has a very particular fashion sense (in that she would prefer to be naked or wearing the exact same summer dress every day, even though it is December).  

It is almost impossible to get her to smile for a photograph. It always has been. 

smurf birthday girl #shop

 

She has perfected the art of the silent treatment and, for the most part, will just sit quietly and just take it all in. Whatever “it” is. But if it gets to be too much for her, she is not shy about voicing her concerns. 

In the comfort of home, in her own familiar world, she is happy to play and sing, to make up jokes, run and have tickle fights. Once you introduce more than two or three other people, she becomes a quiet observer of humanity. 

Always watching. Thinking. Our philosopher. 

Experimenting with new words and facial expressions and making up jokes. Then occasionally she will turn very sad and start to cry for reasons she never can quite explain. 

Sometimes I wonder already if she has the tortured soul of an artist brewing. But what is there– at three– to brew about? Apparently a lot. 

When she is not lost in her own thoughts, she is a sweet girl with a sweet tooth who is obsessed with the movie Frozen and the color pink. In other words, she is three. 

popcorn 3

 

 

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Small Business Spotlight: The Popcorn Loft

December 29, 2014 By: Stephanie1 Comment

 

popcorn 1

Penny’s birthday is tomorrow and we have family driving up from Maryland for the occasion. Because her birthday is sandwiched between two holidays, things tend to get very rushed and I throw together a small last minute party for her. Luck for me, she’s still too young to know the difference right now. 

I wanted to do something to make her feel special, so this morning I called The Popcorn Loft to see if we could stop in. This is a new family-owned business in our area and several of my friends have been telling me I should go check it out. They have about 75 different flavors of popcorn, which they make fresh in their store, as well as fudge and old-fashioned candy, taffy, and sodas.

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The ladies behind the counter were super friendly, getting tons of samples for the kids (even Birthday Cake flavored popcorn for Penny) and giving us free reign to explore the store for a little while. 

popcorn 6 popcorn 7 popcorn 8 popcorn 9 popcorn 10 popcorn 11 The Popcorn Loft

 

It is like a cross between an upscale candy shop in New York City and an old time penny candy store, with a heavy focus on popcorn.

My kids decided they liked the Oreo popcorn best, so we bought 3 mini bags and they threw in a fourth bag for free. I’m not sure if that was a blogger perk or just because we’re lucky enough to live in a community where people do nice things like that all the time.  

If you are local, stop in and see Angie and Steve at The Popcorn Loft as soon as you can. It’s a very cool experience and the kids really liked it!  

(Plus, I feel like I should get bonus points for this, all of those glass jars were still in tact when we left!)  

This is not a sponsored post. I decided to drive to this store and write about it all by me onesies. 

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Selectively Feminist

December 20, 2014 By: Stephanie8 Comments

Female symbol located in restricted area

A blanket of freshly fallen snow covered the ground outside of our Pennsylvania home and, while it was beautiful, put a bit of a damper on our weekday morning. School was still on time and I was rushing to get the big kids ready for school and get everyone breakfast, and worrying about my husband heading out on those icy roads in an hour or so.

As he bundled himself to go shovel the driveway, Eddie mumbled to no one in particular, “Man, sometimes it sucks to be the guy.”

Later I asked him what he meant.

“Nothing. It’s just a lot of responsibility sometimes. I want to help you with all of your stuff because I don’t want to be a total douche, but, and this is not your fault at all because you are busy taking care of the kids and- am I allowed to say this?- some of the stuff I take care of around here you just aren’t physically strong enough to do. So you have me as a teammate and I just kind of fly solo on some stuff. It’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything. I actually like taking care of you guys.”

Everything he said was true. My feelings weren’t hurt, not that he had said anything hurtful. I had just never considered it that way. It must be a difficult balance for the men of our generation. There is definitely a double standard there that I just never noticed until he brought it up. I’ve seen it in practice. We call ourselves feminists. We speak about our ideals of equality and empowerment, yet we constantly expect our men to save us, and if they don’t the word my husband chose is exactly the word we use for them.

One of my blogging friends recently told a story on her Facebook page that illustrates this perfectly:

Selectively Feminist 

Admittedly, I had the exact same thought as the woman who left the comment. Then I asked myself: If her husband would have been the one stranded with two flat tires, would she have been expected to come help him change them? All I am saying is that I am starting to think that we have a double standard for our men. I almost didn’t post this because I didn’t want it to come off like I was defending men too much. However, I never would have been afraid to defend women too much, so therein lies my first point: this double standard? It does exist. My second point, which I’ll get to later, is that I’m not entirely sure that it is a bad thing.  

There is not a single task in our house that is considered “woman’s work.” My husband helps with the dishes and the laundry and the diaper changes, as we both believe he should. As children of the 80’s, we lead the way for Generation Y. We are Millennials, whether we want to be lumped in with them or not. If we hear about a man who refuses to change his own child’s diapers, it is off-putting to us. Although our marriage is traditional in the sense that he works outside the home and I am a full-time mom, that decision was made out of the financial reality that he has the ability to make twice as money as an engineer than I did as a teacher. We don’t necessarily have a lot of the traditional gender roles that our parents’ generation tends to follow. I know how to use the power tools in our garage. I can and do use the lawn mower. I’ve built furniture from scratch by myself in addition to birthing babies. I’d call myself pretty well-empowered.

I can’t think of any traditionally “female” task that I can say that my husband has never done. I can’t say that he has never cleaned the toilet or changed a diaper. He’s expected to do those things, and he’s okay with that. And I’m okay with expecting that of him, because he is a full-grown adult who should be able to function like one. But I honestly can’t say that I have ever changed our air filter, hung our Christmas lights, or shoveled our driveway by myself. And Lord knows I have never, ever been the one to dispose of the dead mice or birds that pop up on occasion (we live next to a farm). I am physically capable of doing all of those things, but no one has ever expected me to, so I just haven’t. What’s up with that? I honestly don’t know. 

Men are expected to do things, while women are offered the choice. Do I want to be empowered in this situation, or do I want to be the damsel in distress? I get to choose. As long as he is there to lean on, I usually have the option of “I’d rather not.” He almost never gets that option. Because, while I’m sure he’d also rather not deal with the dead animals, one of us has to, and he genuinely wants to step up and “be the man.”

 If I’m being completely honest, I have to say, sometimes playing the role of the damsel is okay with me. After all, when a snake got into the house, I was the one who locked myself into the bedroom and cried until Eddie took care of it. It might not have been my finest moment. Maybe theoretically I should have been able to handle it myself, but the reality is that I am just pretty darn terrified of snakes– which I didn’t even know until there was one crawling across our living room. I cried. He killed it. To be perfectly honest, I was happy when he did.

When the house alarm went off at 2 am and the police were at the door, I was subconsciously relieved that no one expected me to be the one to answer it. (Don’t worry, there were just some teenagers taking CDs and loose change from unlocked cars in our neighborhood.)

When there is three feet of snow on the ground and one of us is going to have to shovel our 300-foot driveway, no one expects it to be me because he is almost a foot taller than I am with 50 pounds more muscle, and one of us has to stay in to watch the kids anyway. Sure I could do it, but it would take me twice as long as it takes him. Of course I have helped, but it has never been expected of me to help with those kinds of  physically demanding tasks in the same way that it is expected (not only be me, but by society in general) that he helps with chores inside the house.

I realize that the only reason I have the choice is because I have my partner here with me. If anything ever happened to Eddie and I became a single mom, I wouldn’t have the choice any more. There are single parents doing all of the everything every day. I know that. You guys amaze me. I know that circumstances like death, and divorce, and deployment leave people without their helpmates and that it is hard.

I know that if he was not here I would have had to figure out a way to deal with the snake myself, so I would have done it because I would not have had a choice. And that is what I am saying.

When I really reflect on it, I find it odd that I surrender my feminist card so willingly in exchange for rescue from reptiles or if furniture needs to be moved from one place to another. But the brutal truth is that he is physically stronger than I am (in both his biceps and his stomach) and, while he may not enjoy the tasks themselves, he likes being able to care for me in that way– and I like being taken care of. I get that because it is the same way in which I am emotionally stronger and can help walk him through tricky situations with the kids or a friend.

It’s hard to find a balance while we try to reconcile wanting to erase gender roles because society seems to constantly be telling us we are supposed to, with actually enjoying being taken care of and finding satisfaction in taking care of someone.

I sent this post to my friend Allison to get her thoughts and she jokingly replied, “#HaveOvariesWillBeSelectivelyFeminist.” Touche. 

I believe that a woman can be anything she wants to be, whether that is a doctor, a lawyer, a homemaker, a plumber, a mom, an artist, or an accountant. That is what makes me a card-carrying feminist. But I also believe that there is nothing wrong with keeping the femininity in our gender or the chivalry the other.

If that makes my feminism watered down, I’m not sure that I really care.

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Really, Sony? One Mom Weighs In On The Interview Movie Debate

December 18, 2014 By: Stephanie3 Comments

Screenshot 2014-12-18 15.45.09

Yesterday I was trapped in the house, trying to nurture a daughter who was down for the count with a nasty stomach bug. Between getting ice chips and emptying the puke bowl, I was spending a lot of time on the internet. I was following the story of The Interview pretty closely because a) I’m still kind of in love with the entire cast of Freaks and Geeks and b) um…what? Are you telling me a comedy movie might start a war? 

In case you have been living under the same rock as my mother (I just had to explain this to her on the phone), The Interview is a movie. It’s a comedy in which characters played by Seth Rogen and James Franco are recruited by the CIA to assassinate Kim Jun Un, the dictator currently ruling North Korea. It was scheduled to be released on Christmas Day, but hackers gained access to Sony, which meant gaining personal information about their employees, and made terrorist threats via email to theaters that were planning to play the film. Apparently North Korea has called it “an act of war” in real life. Sony decided to pull the film and is not releasing it after all. Many Americans, including several of our own government officials, are not happy with this decision because we have always had a pretty strict policy that we do not negotiate with terrorists.  

I just kept having so many conflicting thoughts about the whole thing. I also have a few bones to pick with the people making these decisions. Such as…

Seriously, Sony? 

1. I don’t understand how this movie got to this point in the first place. I understand that it is comedy and it’s just a joke. I understand that we have the right to freedom of speech and freedom of the press in America. However, just because we live in a country that grants us the ability to make movies that have plot lines in which sitting world leaders get assassinated, does not mean that we should. That is insanely irresponsible. The freedom to act does not grant you a reprieve from the consequences of your actions. There is a reason that movies usually use fictional characters or depict historical leaders who are no longer in power. This is that reason. Wars have been started over less. 

This CNN article mentions that Dan Sterling, the screenwriter of The Interview, “is quoted as saying that the filmmakers thought invoking Kim [instead of a fictional or off-screen version] would make it ‘so much more exciting, provocative and funny.'”

I have so many questions about this: What exactly did you think you were provoking with your “provocative” film if it wasn’t this? How did you think North Korea would respond? Did you honestly not think about this beforehand? Or did you consider it, decide it was worth the risk, and then just chicken out at the last minute when you realized that actual lives were being threatened? How many people had to give the “go ahead” to get this film to release and really no one stepped up and said, “C’mon, you guys, this is a bad idea?” 

2. What’s done is done. Was it distasteful? Really, do you think? But you knew that, Sony, and you made the movie anyway. It’s too late to pull out now. The damage is done, the message is out there. Everyone has already seen the trailer and North Korea got your memo. Thanks for that, by the way. 

You don’t get to just say, “You know what? Nevermind.” My understanding is that you’re scared that the terrorists got your personal information off the internet, and you also don’t want to be held responsible for any potential attacks on theaters (who could blame you?), so you are hoping if you don’t release your movie they will leave us alone now? Is this based on the fact that terrorists have such a strong history of leaving people alone once those people realize they made a mistake and say they are sorry? Because, as everyone knows, terrorists are very rational like that. 

3. Holy cow, this is a dangerous precedent to set. Look, Sony, no one wants people to die because they went to see your movie (which, honestly, doesn’t even look very good). But Homeland Security has already said that there was no evidence of any planned attacks at the time that you made your decision to pul the movie. For all we knew, these threats could be coming from some 11-year-old kid who happens to be a computer wiz. There is no way that terrorists are going to be able to strike every single theater in America on your opening day.  

So is it worth the risk of even one attack? Quite frankly, maybe. The perceived risk of a threat is very different than an actual imminent attack. We can’t just go around canceling our plans every time someone makes a threat over the internet, especially if we have no evidence to back up the legitimacy of the threat. We’ll all be holed up in our houses for the rest of our lives. You already knowingly put us at risk when you decided to make the movie. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that North Korea was going to see it. Now you are also taking away our option to go see it if we choose to do so? Do you even remember what country this is anymore? 

Not only is it cowardly to pull the movie, it’s insulting to the people who gave their lives defending your right to make it in the first place. 

If any good has come of this, at least I can say that I’m no longer (as) embarrassed that I voted for this guy: 

Screenshot 2014-12-18 15.05.04

Because that’s actually not a bad idea. Fair warning, Sony, if you do decide to go with an internet or straight to DVD release, you should probably think twice before you charge people. Something tells me that America isn’t going to take very kindly to the idea that you decided to capitulate to terrorist demands and then decided to charge us money and still make yourselves a decent profit for a movie you refused to give us the option to see in public. If there was such a thing as compounded treason, that’s probably about what it would look like.  

You have an opportunity to use this as an example on a global scale. Everyone is looking at you to gauge America’s reaction in the face of potential danger. At the moment you are painting us to be cowards we have never been before and never intended to be. I have not seen your movie (now in large part because you won’t let me), but I would be willing to bet that there is a strong case for irony here and that at some point your film your heroes had to have courage in the face of danger.  

That’s really all America is asking of you right now. If you are going to be irresponsible enough to make a film like this, then do not spit on our ideals as you run away from that decision with your tail between your legs. 

Thanks. 

Sincerely, 

A Disappointed American Mom

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How My Dad’s Sweat Pants Might Have Saved Christmas

December 5, 2014 By: Stephanie4 Comments

Disclosure: For your convenience, my blog posts may contain affiliate links to the products mentioned.   

I will never forget the time I saw Santa Claus. I’m not talking about at the mall or in a parade. I saw him in my own house with my own eyes when I was about five years old. 

I remember hearing a man’s voice and some movements downstairs and waking up, groggy. Santa is here! I crept out of my bedroom and sat at the top of the steps, peeking down into our living room. I still remember covering my mouth with my hands because I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my lips when I saw that he was really real. I remember being frozen in place and watching wide-eyed as a man in red pants mumbled to himself, pacing back and forth to our tree and then out of sight again. 

From my vantage point, I could not see above his waist, and honestly I didn’t want to. I couldn’t risk having him see me and knowing I was out of bed. Surely, I was breaking all the rules by watching, and if he saw me seeing him it would cause some sort of glitch in the Santa Matrix. If he stooped to drop a present, I would duck behind the wall. I was very, very careful to avoid being seen, which meant I never saw his face. I only saw bright red pants and white socks. Santa takes off his boots in other people’s houses. That’s very considerate and Santa-y, don’t you think? 

I snuck back into bed, the illicit and magical memory ingrained in me forever. 

In the morning felt so guilty that I told my parents I had seen the man putting the gifts under the tree. They exchanged a somber look that I didn’t understand. Maybe I really did break the Matrix? But, no, the presents were still here, so that couldn’t be true.  

“Let’s not tell your sister. We want Christmas to still be magic for her.” 

“Why can’t I tell Charlotte? I SAW SANTA! I saw his red pants. He was right here in our living room!”

“Oh! You saw his red pants? And that is how you know he was Santa?”

“Yes!” Geez, grown ups could be dumb.  

As the years went by, the faith of my friends and siblings started to fade, but I kept on believing. Well into my double digit years, I was still insisting, “I saw him! I really did. Honestly.”  Any doubting children could be sent straight to me, my convictions were honest and believable because they were true. I really did see what I saw. So what if I was eleven or twelve or thirteen? I had seen and I believed. 

 It wasn’t until a few years down the road when a tiny inkling of a different possibility crossed my mind.

I came upon a family photo album and mixed in among pictures from that very same Christmas were candid shots from my childhood. My sister and me eating Oatmeal Creme Pies and playing with Barbie dolls. Terrible hair styles and worse clothing choices. It was the 80’s, after all.

And then there was my father, rocking a pair of red Hanes Sweatpants that seemed vaguely familiar.

But, no.

It couldn’t be, could it?

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All I know is that when I was five years old I really did see a magical man in red pants putting presents under my Christmas tree. 

And if you are ever questioning what to wear this holiday season, red sweat pants are the safest possible choice. They just might preserve a childhood for several years to come. 

You might also like:

5 Gifts to Give When You Are Broke. Some really creative gift ideas here!

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Video: Introduction to Your Sewing Machine

December 4, 2014 By: Stephanie2 Comments

Yesterday I asked a question on my Facebook page: If you could learn one new skill, what would it be? 

I was surprised how many people responded that they wished they knew how to sew, and happy because that is actually one area where I can help. 

Introduction to a Sewing Machine

When I was a little girl I took sewing lessons for several years from a sweet old lady named Ms. Ann at our local fabric store. We learned how to sew all kinds of clothes, quilts, pillows, etc., and had fashion shows once a year to show them off. I’m no master seamstress. I’m not going to be auditioning for Project Runway any time soon, but I can put together basic pieces for my kids. 

Since so many of you said you wanted to learn, I thought I could start a series of simple sewing tutorials for beginners or kids. These first few videos are just to introduce you to your machine and teach you how to thread it. 

I’m using a Brother LS 1217 model that came from Walmart maybe ten years or so ago. 

The first video is just an introduction to the various parts of the sewing machine. (I apologize because I forgot to shoot this one horizontally.)

Then I made one to teach you how to thread a bobbin. 

I also made a video about how to thread a sewing machine. I know the quality of these videos isn’t the greatest, but I hope they are helpful to you if you are just starting out.

I know that getting started and learning how to thread your machine can be the most intimidating part of sewing for a lot of people. Sometimes the pictures and diagrams that come with the machines make it even more confusing. Try checking YouTube to see if there are videos for your specific machine. I find watching someone else do it to be really helpful. Also, you can see that even the people who have that skill are not perfect. Sometimes our thread jumps off the machine in the middle of our bobbin videos. 🙂 

If you are looking for an easy project for a beginner, check out my 10 minute sweater skirt: 

how to make a sweater skirt in ten minutes

 One of my favorite sewing crafts to date is this tutorial for how to sew a rag doll. Check it out here!

How to Make a Rag Doll

You can also click on the “Make It” tab at the top of the blog for more project ideas. 

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I’ll Keep That In Mind

November 25, 2014 By: Stephanie4 Comments

For years it was my mantra whenever we went out in public. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Sometimes it is the expression that still saves me. 

I was young and naive when I started this journey as an adoptive mom. I didn’t yet know how to ignore the ignorant and didn’t want to offend the well-meaning. 

Unsolicited Parenting Advice

There were so many things that they didn’t know, but the comments always came. From family or from strangers in the grocery store. 

Don’t you think that child is too old for a bottle?

Shouldn’t he be potty trained by now?

Maybe he’s just tired.

Can you please quiet him down?  

What I wanted to say was, “No. No, I don’t think he is too old for a bottle. And I don’t care if I have to change Pull-Ups a little while longer. And, yes, I do think he is tired because you don’t have any idea how bad the nightmares get. And no I can’t quiet him down. Or maybe I can, but I won’t, because his voice deserves to be heard, even when it is an angry voice.”

What I did instead was try to smile as politely as I could as their comments made me question my own judgment. 

Eventually, the realization that God and a whole team of social workers chose me instead of them for this job– the job of his forever mom– gave me the confidence to dismiss them.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  

Do you know what else I will keep in mind? 

By the time my son was a year old, he had three different mothers.  

By the time he was two he had gone from a homeless shelter in Tampa to a split-level in Pennsylvania, and several houses and families in between. 

So, if it’s all the same to you, I’m going to let him keep drinking out of that bottle a little while longer, and I’m going to hold him while he does it. I don’t particularly care if you think that is strange because he doesn’t fit in my arms horizontally, or if it might make his baby teeth– the ones that will fall out anyway– stick out a little funny (which it didn’t). Because he is still only two or three years old and the bottle is a symbol of part of a childhood lost and the new attachments we are trying to form. It brings comfort and familiarity and tells him that we, this new family in this new place, will take care of him in the way he deserves. 

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I’ll keep that in mind when it is three a.m. and I am still awake because the nightmares and the rage have kept a toddler up all night, and someone has to keep an eye on him. Someone has to be there to teach him to hit the beanbag chair, or the pillow, or the mattress instead of punching holes in the wall or hurting the people around him. When you tell me I look tired and I should “try to sleep when the baby sleeps” I will just sigh and say, “I’ll keep that in mind.” I will not bother telling you that those comments, which I know are made with the best of intentions, are literally impossible instructions to follow. 

I’ll keep that in mind, your latest potty training advice when I am sitting in the waiting room at the therapist’s office counting the minutes until his appointment is over, or at the pediatric GI specialist, or at the Emergency Room waiting on the results of the prostate exam he just had to endure. I will try to contain my anger and frustration upon the news that the doctors think we are here because he was given cow’s milk instead of formula or breast milk at birth, and I was not there to stop it. I will have nothing to say to the doctors who offer this explanation except, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then I will try to pull myself back into the present moment, because this is where we are right now, and we can’t do anything to change how we got here. We can only try to move forward. 

I will keep that in mind, that you have asked me to calm down my child on the playground, as he kicks and screams on the ground at my feet. I will weigh your words, decide they have no merit, and I will let him continue to kick and scream because he has every right in the world to feel angry. When I see you glaring at me, I will smile back at you and attempt to be friendly. I do not owe you an explanation, and I think anger is a healthy reaction to what this child has endured in his very short lifetime. As you huff and pull your children away from our “bad example” I will roll my eyes and remind myself that you do not know what you do not know.   

Whenever you tell me with indignity that you saw a woman at the grocery store who had four children with her, you could tell from their skin tones that they all had different fathers, and she had the audacity to pay with food stamps that “we” provide, I will wonder out loud if she may have been a foster mother. Although personally, I will be happy whether she is or not, because if there is one thing I do not mind my tax dollars doing, it is feeding hungry children.

I can tell by the way your face falls as I say it that you may have said something unkind within her earshot, and now you are reconsidering your words. 

“Hmm, I’ve never thought of that,” I hear you whisper quietly to yourself. “Foster kids? I’ll keep that in mind.” 

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November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Please keep our foster children in mind.  

Thank you for your pins and shares!

I haven’t always been this calm about people sticking their nose in my family’s business. I vented all about my frustration with this in a previous post. Check it out for some solidarity in this never-ending parenting struggle. 

Keep your parenting advice to yourself

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The Super Secret Project Is…

November 18, 2014 By: Stephanie11 Comments

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For almost a month now, I have been telling you that I have been working on a super secret project. 

Well, I can finally tell you what it is!

After our story went viral, I realized how important the issue of girls’ clothing really is and how many other cultural implications are tied to it, so I started writing a book. But as more comments and emails and pictures from you poured in, I very quickly realized that some stories just need to be told in a more visual way. I needed to be able to share more pictures, more interviews with professionals, and conversations with the girls themselves. I needed more viewpoints than just my own, and more than I could pack into the pages of a book.

I needed to turn this into a documentary. 

So I called my friend Jeremy about a month ago (Remember how I told you he owns a production company?) and together we came up with the concept for Seamingly Obvious. It will be a feature-length documentary that explores the sexualization of women via the media and fashion industries today and its long-term psychological effects on a girl’s sense of identity. We will interview representatives from the fashion industry, developmental psychologists, parents, and children in an effort to discover how our current cultural attitudes affect the various stages of development.

I am so excited to have the amazing opportunity to partner with Awarehouse Productions and Percepto Studios to make that vision a reality!

And we’ve actually already started. (Fair warning, there are a few PG-13 images in the first 30 seconds of this video, which are only meant to serve as examples of what our daughters are seeing on magazine covers and advertisements every day.)

Seamingly Obvious from PERCEPTO STUDIOS and Awarehouse Productions. 

(Click the gear icon and make sure it is set to 720HD for the best viewing experience.)

Partnering with small, independent film companies was a very purposeful decision. In the height of the media frenzy that surrounded my blog post calling out Target, I was approached by several large retailers, and I told some of them about this idea. But when they asked if I would use the same vendors that they use to shoot commercials for their products, it left a bad taste in my mouth. 

I knew I couldn’t in good conscious put this project in someone else’s hands. Jeremy was the one who encouraged me and introduced me to the best people he knows—which is how we put together our team—but said that I was going to have to be the one who told this story and directed the film. (gulp!)

Then the American Psychological Association expressed interest in helping since our mission ties directly into a report that their task force put together, and I knew I had a responsibility to keep myself un-biased. So we decided to try to crowd-source this project, which is going to be a huge undertaking. And it means that I need your help. 

I want to be able to continue to tell this story honestly, in my own words, the way I have been doing all along. 

We all agree that media has been part of the problem.

I want to use it as part of the solution.

We have a big goal, but I am confident that we can achieve it together.

Everyone knows that movies are very expensive to make.

We need to raise $100,000 to make this one. 

I know that is a lot of money– it’s more than I paid for my first house. 

I also know that this movie is important. And I know you think it is important too, because you told me so. Those are your words in the beginning of the video. We took them directly from comments you left on my Facebook page. 

So, I’m asking you today if you can donate $10, $20, $50 or whatever you can afford, so that this momentum doesn’t stop at one mom’s blog post. I know that we can turn this into a major movement toward change.

Because our daughters deserve better. 

I am donating my time to this project and I refuse to take a salary out of the money you provide. The money will all go toward equipment, travel, production, and post-processing costs. And it goes a lot faster than you think.  

For weeks now you have been asking me what you can do, how you can help. This is a chance to do it. This can be the first step in achieving the changes that we all want to see. So please share this post and donate what your family can afford.

Also, please visit the website for Seamingly Obvious and like our Facebook page. Please share these pages on your social media channels. The further we can spread the word, the better. 

Thank you so much for your continued support. I cannot wait to see how far we can get together!

Head on over to our website to make a donation! 


Terms and Conditions

 

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Health Update

November 17, 2014 By: Stephanie8 Comments

 

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and concern. 

Last week I had my first visit with the neurology department so that we can try to figure out what is going on with this pesky little lesion in my brain. 

I honestly don’t know a whole lot more than I did before, but I promised to keep you updated, so…

Basically, they still don’t know what it is, but they don’t think it is anything very scary. It’s not cancer and they doubt it is Multiple Sclerosis because there is only one lesion and it is still relatively small. 

I was told to start weaning off the Valium I had been taking, so at least I will be allowed to drive again, although I won’t if I’m still dizzy, because that would be dangerous, especially with the kids in the car. 

I got poked and prodded with a bunch of cold sharp metal things to test for feeling in my extremities, and they tested my reflexes similar to the way a police officer might test to see if you have been drinking and driving. 

When the doctor started poking me with an open safety pin and asking if it felt “pokey,” it took everything I had to bite my smart-mouthed tongue and not reply, “Actually, that feels more like tetanus.” So, I just nodded. 

Apparently the fact that I could feel all the “pokiness” was a good thing.

We’re going to try some physical therapy and see if the symptoms go away. 

In the meantime, I feel very similar to the way I felt in the first trimester of pregnancy. (Before you ask, no, I’m not pregnant. Yes, I am very sure.) I wake up dizzy and nauseated and I get very, very tired really easily. It usually gets better throughout the day, but mornings are pretty rough. 

The doctor said the lesion could really be anything from a small benign tumor to just built-up scar tissue from years of migraines or an old head injury– but that really doesn’t explain any of the vertigo or other symptoms, like my hands and feet going numb or the black spots in my vision. So we will probably do more MRIs with contrast so they can get better pictures.

I go back for my next neurology appointment next month.   

I am grateful that none of the doctors so far seem to think that it is anything life-threatening and that I got a great excuse to stay home with my kids again. Although, I could do without waking up with headaches and feeling sick every single morning, obviously. 

My school called today and said they hired a permanent teacher to replace me, so I am feeling better for former my students and my colleagues, who I felt very guilty about leaving so suddenly. 

Poor Eddie has been doing most of the stuff around the house in addition to working crazy hours, because bending up and down to load the dishwasher or transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer makes me feel like the entire room is spinning and I’m going to faint. It would not be cool to faint while I am home alone with Penny during the day, obviously. I spend most of the weekend in bed because doing pretty much anything throughout the week, like just making the kids’ lunch, leaves me exhausted. By the time the weekend comes, sometimes I literally cannot get out of bed. So he has also been taking the kids to all of their activities. I know that he is feeling very drained. And I am feeling very useless. Sorry honey. In sickness and in health, remember? 

It is funny, though, how God has used this experience. For example, even though I was only teaching for about a month this school year, I got to have great health insurance while I was undergoing the majority of my testing. I was able to connect my school to the pastors from our church and now they have that connection in the community for more volunteers and funding. And immediately after I was forced to quit because I ran out of sick time, that Target post went viral and I started getting offers for some amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, like appearing on the panel of women who spoke on Glenn Beck’s show, that I never could have done if I was still working. 

I have been through a few pregnancies and I am a mom. I know how to continue to function, for the most part, while feeling not feeling my best. 😉 We are moms, it’s what we do. 

But, if you could be praying for anything specific, we are obviously still looking for answers and I would appreciate prayers for Eddie’s stamina and for my kids as this has been a crazy time with a lot of transitions for them. 

Meanwhile, I’ll be here at home reading, blogging, and continuing to work on the super secret project, which I think I can tell you about later this week!! And I’ll be really hoping that most of the studies are wrong about toddlers and tv– because I am definitely letting Penny watch way too much while we try to settle in to our new normal around here.  

Love, 

Steph 

steph 2 #shop

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Welcome! I’m Steph.

This is a little corner of the internet we like to fill with honesty, heart, and humor. Read More…

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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Stephanie Giese is an indie author based in Florida. She writes stories about realistic problems with humor, heart, and sass. Her work has a strong focus on mental health and consent. Her North Bay small-town romance series is set for release in 2025.

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

3 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know it’s a small thing, but I believe small things can add up to big changes. my entire North Bay series, including Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base, is free on Kindle from Jan. 30-Feb. 3. Please take the funds you might have spent on my books this week and reallocate them toward the areas in our country that need them the most. Follow creators like Dad Chats who can direct you toward practical needs local to them. I hope my quirky romcoms can bring you some comfort and joy during difficult times, and I hope together we can take small, practical steps toward big changes. ... See MoreSee Less

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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

3 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know there is an overall feeling of helplessness in our country right now. So many of us are at a loss for what to do beyond making phone calls and social media posts (which are still important, but can feel like not enough). I believe strongly in the power of small things adding up to big ones. As one person, I might not be able to do much, but what I CAN do is use my voice and my books to work toward the change I’d like to see. That’s why, for the next five days, from Jan. 30-Feb 3, I’m making the Kindle versions of my entire North Bay series (Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base) completely free. Art has power, and I do hope these comedies can bring you some comfort and joy in difficult times, but most importantly, I also hope you’ll consider redirecting the funds you might’ve spent on my books and donating instead to one of the many charities working tirelessly in our cities right now. If you are located in an area like Minnesota or Portland, please use the space below to make people aware of the organizations in your area that need help. ... See MoreSee Less
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