There has been a lot of talk on the news about how a “lack of conversation” is part of the problem, but I hadn’t seen very many people sitting down and really trying to have the types of conversations that people say are missing. Charmia and I have many things in common. We went to school together, we are the same age, we had a similar upbringing, and we are both moms now. But we also recognize that we have some differences, and we wanted to sit down and talk about those differences for a while in the hopes that change might be able to start with us. I think the story about the birthday party at the pool and how our experiences of that were so different really highlights the need for more progress.
The following was originally published on my Facebook page, but based on the response it received there, I wanted to repost it here as well.
I remember being in college and sitting in a room full of boys while they used racial slurs in jokes. I told them they weren’t funny and then I got up and walked away. They told me I needed to get a sense of humor. No one else said anything. The jokes kept happening.
I remember ushering my children into the other room to avoid an older relative’s casual use of the n-word. I pursed my lips and shook my head and exchanged a frustrated glance with my husband. But we make excuses for the older generation. No one said anything.
I remember when we were adopting out of foster care and we had to examine our hearts and answer hard questions. They asked if we had a healthy support system in place for a child of color, and I had to [Read more…]
You are waiting.
That “other shoe” has been hanging in the air for a while. Maybe years. And today it’s dropping.
You’ve known. You knew something was a little different. A little bit off. Not quite the same as the siblings, or the other kids in the classroom or on the playground.
You know. But are you ready to hear it? [Read more…]