Thank you so much for your continued prayers and concern.
Last week I had my first visit with the neurology department so that we can try to figure out what is going on with this pesky little lesion in my brain.
I honestly don’t know a whole lot more than I did before, but I promised to keep you updated, so…
Basically, they still don’t know what it is, but they don’t think it is anything very scary. It’s not cancer and they doubt it is Multiple Sclerosis because there is only one lesion and it is still relatively small.
I was told to start weaning off the Valium I had been taking, so at least I will be allowed to drive again, although I won’t if I’m still dizzy, because that would be dangerous, especially with the kids in the car.
I got poked and prodded with a bunch of cold sharp metal things to test for feeling in my extremities, and they tested my reflexes similar to the way a police officer might test to see if you have been drinking and driving.
When the doctor started poking me with an open safety pin and asking if it felt “pokey,” it took everything I had to bite my smart-mouthed tongue and not reply, “Actually, that feels more like tetanus.” So, I just nodded.
Apparently the fact that I could feel all the “pokiness” was a good thing.
We’re going to try some physical therapy and see if the symptoms go away.
In the meantime, I feel very similar to the way I felt in the first trimester of pregnancy. (Before you ask, no, I’m not pregnant. Yes, I am very sure.) I wake up dizzy and nauseated and I get very, very tired really easily. It usually gets better throughout the day, but mornings are pretty rough.
The doctor said the lesion could really be anything from a small benign tumor to just built-up scar tissue from years of migraines or an old head injury– but that really doesn’t explain any of the vertigo or other symptoms, like my hands and feet going numb or the black spots in my vision. So we will probably do more MRIs with contrast so they can get better pictures.
I go back for my next neurology appointment next month.
I am grateful that none of the doctors so far seem to think that it is anything life-threatening and that I got a great excuse to stay home with my kids again. Although, I could do without waking up with headaches and feeling sick every single morning, obviously.
My school called today and said they hired a permanent teacher to replace me, so I am feeling better for former my students and my colleagues, who I felt very guilty about leaving so suddenly.
Poor Eddie has been doing most of the stuff around the house in addition to working crazy hours, because bending up and down to load the dishwasher or transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer makes me feel like the entire room is spinning and I’m going to faint. It would not be cool to faint while I am home alone with Penny during the day, obviously. I spend most of the weekend in bed because doing pretty much anything throughout the week, like just making the kids’ lunch, leaves me exhausted. By the time the weekend comes, sometimes I literally cannot get out of bed. So he has also been taking the kids to all of their activities. I know that he is feeling very drained. And I am feeling very useless. Sorry honey. In sickness and in health, remember?
It is funny, though, how God has used this experience. For example, even though I was only teaching for about a month this school year, I got to have great health insurance while I was undergoing the majority of my testing. I was able to connect my school to the pastors from our church and now they have that connection in the community for more volunteers and funding. And immediately after I was forced to quit because I ran out of sick time, that Target post went viral and I started getting offers for some amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, like appearing on the panel of women who spoke on Glenn Beck’s show, that I never could have done if I was still working.
I have been through a few pregnancies and I am a mom. I know how to continue to function, for the most part, while feeling not feeling my best. 😉 We are moms, it’s what we do.
But, if you could be praying for anything specific, we are obviously still looking for answers and I would appreciate prayers for Eddie’s stamina and for my kids as this has been a crazy time with a lot of transitions for them.
Meanwhile, I’ll be here at home reading, blogging, and continuing to work on the super secret project, which I think I can tell you about later this week!! And I’ll be really hoping that most of the studies are wrong about toddlers and tv– because I am definitely letting Penny watch way too much while we try to settle in to our new normal around here.