Before I had children (and for a little while when we only had Nicholas), I was an elementary school teacher. I taught first grade, spent a few years as a gifted specialist teaching math and science to 3rd-5th graders, then I taught second grade. Then a few years later, I briefly went back into the classroom as a middle school teacher. I’ve taught in very affluent and very low-income areas. Teachers usually do not expect gifts from any of their students, but in my experience, families often want to give but sometimes struggle with ideas. 

While I was a gifted specialist, I had about ninety students on my caseload. Because we were in a very well-to-do area, I received many gifts from the generous families of my students around the holidays. 

I was always very grateful to receive any sort of gift, but have you ever tried to find space in your home for 75 new mugs or candles? It can be a little overwhelming. Especially if you got 63 the year before.

I thought it might be helpful if I put together a list of the best and worst gifts to give a teacher. I truly hope I’m not offending anyone. I don’t mean for this to come off as at all ungrateful, but I know parents often struggle with gift ideas for teachers and I hope this list helps a little. These opinions are based on my own experience and observation and might vary from the opinions of other teachers. I’m not here to judge, just offering suggestions. No worries, if you did give your teacher a mug or a candle, I promise she still loves it and feels very appreciated.  

Everybody still on board? Okay, here we go:

Teacher favorites:

1. Books. A nice book with a handwritten note inside the cover is one of the very best gifts. Don’t worry about if your teacher already has that particular book, I know I liked keeping multiple copies in my classroom library. I not-so-humbly suggest the one I wrote. 🙂

2. Stationery or classroom supplies. One of the most useful gifts I ever received was a beautiful set of thank you cards. I spent a lot of time writing thank yous for all those lovely gifts and other things throughout the year. I also used quite a bit of regular stationery sending notes to parents, students, and other faculty members.

3. Gift cards. Whether it is a $5 gift card to Starbucks or a $20 gift card to the office supply store, gift cards are always appreciated. Teachers spend a lot of their own money on classroom supplies. It’s nice to have a little to spend on ourselves or to splurge on the class without taking money away from our own families.

4. A class gift. It is always very special when the room mom collects donations and the entire class pulls together for one larger, personalized gift. It could be an apron with everyone’s hand print, a framed class photo where everyone wrote a note around the matting, or a certificate for a spa where I never would have splurged on myself. These gifts show a lot of thought, make me feel loved, and make everyone feel included-even those students who can’t afford to donate.

5. Just a card. A thoughtful, hand-written note in a card, maybe with a wallet sized photo of your child, is the type of gift I will save for years, long after the mugs are broken and the candles are burned.

6. Store bought food. I once had a parent drop off a breakfast sandwich and hot chocolate from a nearby restaurant about 20 minutes before our school day started, which I thought was very sweet. Girl scout cookies are also pretty sweet.

7. Ornaments. This one is touchy. If a teacher has been teaching for 20 years, she probably has amassed quite a collection and might not be as enthusiastic about them, but ornaments were one of my very favorite gifts. I truly loved my job and my students and I like having the reminders of them on our tree at home every year.

8. A magazine subscription. I would have loved a subscription to Highlights, Time for Kids, Ranger Rick, Zoo Books, etc. for our classroom. The cool thing about this gift is that it is not very expensive and it keeps giving for an entire year.

Please Avoid:

*Before I start this section, I need to say that there is really no such thing as a “worst” gift to give a teacher. Any gift from the heart is a great gift. But in the interest of practicality and being honest, I have included some of the most common least favorites.  

1. Mugs. I literally have hundreds of mugs. I feel bad donating them because each one reminds me of the special student who gave it to me.

2. Candles. Similar to mugs, but while I can use mugs in the classroom, I can only burn candles at home and I already have enough to get me through the next several years worth of power outages.

3. Homemade food. This is hard to say because it hurts people’s feelings. I know you worked hard to make this. I know you are “famous” for these cookies. I’m not allowed to have them in my classroom because I have students with allergies. To be honest, I will probably take them to the faculty room and they might not be eaten there either. Unless I know you personally, I am reluctant to eat your food or take it home to my family. If we have recently “had words” because you disagreed with a grade I gave your child, I *might* be slightly afraid you are trying to poison me.  (That’s a joke.)

4. Jewelry.  There are some very nice, personalized pieces from Etsy stores that I’m sure teachers would love to receive, but for the most part the jewelry we get is holiday themed, costume pieces or dress-up jewelry from Claire’s. Then we feel obligated to wear it to work so that the students see how much we “love” their gifts. I’d rather not sit in a training meeting with my boss’s boss after school or an IEP meeting with other parents with plastic, blinking Santa hats hanging next to my face because a.) it’s unprofessional and b.) It’s January because I did not receive this gift until the last school day of December. But I’m still going to wear it with a smile anyway, for the sake of your child.   

5. Cash. This is very awkward for the receiver. While a $5 gift card to Starbucks with a cute note saying that I should treat myself feels thoughtful, opening a card and finding $5 in cash makes me feel like I’m the third grader in this scenario. Larger amounts of cash can feel like a bribe, and the school board would frown upon me if I accepted it.

Well, there you have it. Do you have anything to add to either list?

P.S.  If you want to see some truly bad gifts, check out this list of the worst possible holiday gifts from Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva.

UPDATE: A few readers requested that I update this post to gently suggest that before you spend the time, money, and energy to make something you saw on Pinterest, like a tire-sized wreath made out of crayons, please consider the practicality of the gift and whether or not you would use it in your own home.

About a year ago I wrote a manuscript for a children’s book.

My friend Mary Joy and her family had recently been in a very tragic car accident. They lost her husband/their father, Will,  and she and her two young sons were all in critical condition, separated in different hospitals-all going through difficult medical procedures completely alone.

It was one of the saddest things I have ever watched a friend experience and my heart was indescribably heavy for her.

My children were too young to understand, but they wanted to know why I was so upset.

What do you tell a child to help them know that we can get through times like this?

I had no human answer, so I started to write. 

I believe my writing is a spiritual gift, so I said a prayer that God would give me a story that could help me explain it to them in a way that was similar to the way Jesus would have.

He gave me a parable.

Parables are short stories that are a type of analogy. Jesus used them often.

I wrote the Cookie Jar Parable in about 15 minutes.

I sent it to a few Christian publishers and then, to be completely honest, I forgot about it.

I have sent queries before and received rejection letters. I didn’t think this one would be much different.

But it was.

Because this time it isn’t just my story. This is a story written in prayer and out of love for a family in suffering. 

This story is important.

Then, a few weeks later, in mid-December, tragedy struck the entire country when Sandy Hook Elementary was attacked. 

Three days later I was contacted by Tate Publishing.

They thought my story was important too.

I had several personal phone calls with the founder of the company and, in an uncharacteristic move for a business man, he generously waived over 80% of the fee that authors are normally required to contribute in accordance with their business model.

I got a very warm, genuine feeling that this was the right place for my story to be. We talked about how The Cookie Jar Parable might be able to help children who are grieving, whether that grief is for a family member, a tragedy in the news, or a pet. Grief is an emotion we can’t avoid, but we don’t talk about it with our children very often. The Cookie Jar Parable can help with that.  The story is easy to relate to and not at all scary and I think it also translates well to other faiths. The illustrations are colorful and fun.  

This is the description on the back of the book:

Elliot’s grandpa is in Heaven now, and Elliot is sad. He is a little nervous to visit Grandma’s house since Grandpa won’t be there anymore. Will she be upset? Is she lonely?

During their visit Grandma shares a special story with Elliot. Her story is about a jar full of cookies that have been created to be part of a great celebration. Through “The Cookie Jar Parable” Grandma is able to help Elliot understand that it is all right to be scared of death and loss, but on the other side there is a wonderful celebration waiting for us.

So, for the past 11 months, I have been working with Tate Publishing on developing my original one-page Microsoft Word document into an entire book. 

Everyone at Tate was very friendly and they have been honest and delivered on every promise that was made initially. 

I loved seeing my words come to life in the illustrations. (I requested the main character be the same age as my son, the grandma be reminiscent of Paula Deen and that there be a lemon beagle that looks a little like our dog, Lucy, even though there is no dog mentioned in the text. It was so fun to see how the artist, Dindo Contento, worked with my requests!) 

I think this one is my favorite.

The book officially went on sale through Tate’s website yesterday, but won’t be “officially released” and available on Amazon or through bookstores until early 2014.   

If you are interested, you can buy an early edition here. The paperback version retails for $8.99 and is 6″x7.” It’s a small book, which I think is a good size for children’s little hands. 

Every copy purchased also comes with a code for a free audio download, which I think is one of the coolest parts. We are still working with the actors to complete the audio version. So if you do purchase the book, please be patient. Your download will be available in about 8 more weeks.

Thank you so much to everyone who supported me throughout this process.  It has been a lot of work and there is still more work to be done, but I am so grateful to have reached the point that I can finally share this story with all of you!