It happened.

I’m actually surprised it took this long, to tell you the truth.

This was the first week I did not lose weight.

I may have cried when I stepped on the scale yesterday.

So frustrating.

Actually, I gained weight this week. I think. (Our scale is acting very strange. It gave me more than 10 different numbers in 5 minutes. I didn’t believe it the fist time I got on and it said I gained weight, so I tried again. Different number. Again. Different number. Almost every time I stepped on, it said something different. They were all within a few pounds of each other. I just took the one that came up the most often. That was yesterday. I tried again today and this number came up again twice in a row, so it’s the one I’m going with.)

The scale says 177.6 pounds, which is a 1.8 pound gain since last week.

Grrr.

Granted, I did totally ignore my diet on Super Bowl Sunday, but that was almost a weeks ago.

It just seems so unfair that one hot dog at lunch time and a slice of pizza and a few wings at dinner on one day could throw off a month and a half of work. 

I’m actually not sorry, although I am frustrated.

I don’t want to get back to a size 4 if it means that I can never indulge in stuff like that. I’m not going to stop having days like that occasionally. I know myself well enough to know that it would make me very grouchy and resentful if I didn’t.

I did still work out three times this week. (Four if you count the workout I’m planning to do after I finish typing this.)

I did order a salad when we went to a restaurant and everyone else ate hamburgers.

I did make a really healthy chicken stew (just chicken, sweet potatoes, carrots, onion, celery, and spices) and ate that for a few days.

I did make homemade bread out of organic whole wheat.

I did replace white sugar with honey every single time.

I did use salad plates instead of dinner plates to control portion sizes.

I did walk my son to school instead of driving every time that school was open this week.

It’s not even two pounds. It could realistically be related to my menstrual cycle.

My size 12 jeans are too big now, so I know I am still losing inches, even if the actual number on the scale isn’t dropping as fast as I would like it to. Even if it actually going up this week.

I think I can see a difference in my arms.

A few other people have made comments that they can start to see a difference too.

I know muscle weighs more than fat and all of that, but I sincerely doubt that I gained two pounds of muscle in a week by doing a few 20-30 minute work out videos.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to quit.

I still believe that this is the healthiest way, both physically and emotionally, to lose weight. Even it it takes a year or longer, which it might.

I’m not switching to some crazy, trendy, restrictive diet. I still believe that if at least 80% of my diet comes from real, unprocessed food and I continue to exercise regularly, the weight will come off. Eventually.

Actually, all of the controversy over The Biggest Loser this week has helped me see that I am doing this the right way.

Also, Eddie had a talk with me when I was busy sobbing in bed (away from my daughters) about the number and that helped a lot.

He got down on his knees next to the bed and looked into my eyes and said something like this,

“I understand that this is really frustrating. You have been working really hard and you are doing a good job. There are thousands of people reading your blog and you could really be helping somebody. We did eat some things this week that you know aren’t good for us. But, I did not marry you with the stipulation that you’d weigh less than 150 pounds for the rest of your life. I still find you attractive and I always will.”

And then I said something like, “Whatever. You have to say that because I’m the only person you’re allowed to have sex with.” Because I’m a peach.

But I did get out of bed and stop crying and I did work out and eat well that day. 

So here’s to seeing a lower number next week.