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Book Signing at Kismet

October 4, 2013 By: Stephanie2 Comments

Believe it or not, even though our whole lives seem to revolve around building the house right now, occasionally Eddie and I  also get out to do other stuff.

Like work.

My favorite part of my job? It’s toss up between being able to sit at home and work with my kids next to me, staying in sweat pants 90% of the time, and building fabulous relationships with other women and moms with whom I have so much in common. Also, every once in a while I get to dress up and pretend to be famous.  

lipstick book signing 13

Last night I had the amazing opportunity to be one of the featured authors at a book signing at Kismet Consignment in Downingtown, PA with Meredith from The Mom of the Year and Ellen and Erin from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms.

Lest you think my life is this glamorous all of the time, I should tell you that the day started with me catching Penny’s vomit in my bare hands in an effort to save the rented carpet in our apartment. Also, just before the signing, I showed up in this red dress at kindergarten pick-up, where Abby announced she had to poop and I had to hike around the entire campus carrying a sick baby and dragging a preschooler with a potty emergency around to every door until someone would let us in the school so she could use the bathroom. Fun times with bodily functions all around. Plus, I got very lost on the way to Downingtown. Like, “I need to stop at the fire station and have them give me entirely new directions” kind of lost. 

Who wears tight, revealing red dresses with plunging necklines and stands next to men in firefighter uniforms in the middle of the day? Escorts and authors, that’s who.

But I digress. Back to our signing…

Meredith worked so hard to put this event together. She arranged the location, the food, the swag, the decorations, the advertising, and she ordered all of the books. All the rest of us did was show up. Meredith even fed us dinner at her house before we headed off to the signing. Huge props to Meredith, because this event was hoppin’. A TON of people showed up, even though the fire department actually closed the road because the high school down the street was having their Homecoming parade. 

That didn’t stop anyone. People told us they parked across the street, stepped over the barriers, and walked to the book signing anyway.

We had our very own Avon lady giving out free lipstick swag  to attendees.

lipstick book signing 12

lipstick book signing

We scattered around pictures of ourselves recreating the cover of the book. 

lipstick book signing 1

Meredith had a poster-sized version of our book cover made for photo ops. Here I am standing next to it with her, my best bloggy buddy. She’s just so pretty and classy and tall all the time.

lipstick book signing 4

Kismet is an adorable store! The owners were very gracious hosts. It didn’t hurt that the merchandise is pretty amazing as well. All of the other authors bought clothes and jewelry while we were there. 

lipstick book signing 5

I, on the other hand, was busy admiring the furniture, which was also for sale. I want to marry this piece and take it home with me to live forever.

lipstick book signing 6

And what’s a Ladies’ Night Out without wine, cheese, fruit, chocolate, and CUPCAKES? Cocina Cupcakes donated all of the cupcakes for our event. I had the chocolate chip cookie dough and it was ah-mazing. Like, for real. You can tell by the fact that my dress leaves little to the imagination that I am no stranger to cupcakes, and I can promise you that these were simply the best cupcakes ever.

What’s better than eating raw cookie dough? Cookie dough and cake together in a way that doesn’t involve any risk of salmonella,  that’s what. I’m telling you, you need these cupcakes in your life.

lipstick book signing 8

It was so fun to meet Ellen and Erin! We’ve been online friends for a while, but this was the first time we got to meet in real life.

lipstick book signing 9

Our pens stayed busy all night. Pretty much everyone who was there had come to see this fabulous lady.

lipstick book signing 10

Meredith’s sister and dad came to support her too.

lipstick book signing 11 

And we got some autographs of our own. We used this mirror as a guest book and our attendees signed it with lipstick.

lipstick book signing 14

Thank you so much to those of you who came out to support us last night! We had a ton of fun and it was awesome to be able to meet some of you!

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The Biggest Fall Reading Giveaway of All Time! {that I know of}

September 30, 2013 By: Stephanie4 Comments

Do you love reading? Enjoy free stuff? Like Money? I'm so excited to be partnering with a whole bunch of other bloggers and businesses to bring you this HUGE giveaway.

You are not going to believe this prize package.

Seriously.

Now that the kids are back in school, maybe you find yourself with a little extra free time for reading grown-up people books with grown-up people words in them. Maybe, as the autumn air gets chillier, you’re looking for an excuse to snuggle up inside under a blanket. Whatever the reason, one thing’s for sure: you need some great stuff to read. Thus, we bring you…

THE BIGGEST FALL READING GIVEAWAY EVER!

Reading Giveaway 1

First off, we’ve collected practically an entirely new library for you – nine (9) (NINE!!!) new books to make you laugh, cry, and forget that you were supposed to turn on the crockpot because you’re just plain having too much fun.

reading giveaway 2

You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, the long-awaited first humor anthology from In The Powder Room, is the #1 Hot New Release on Amazon for good reason – it’s packed with 39 (mostly) true tales by women, for women, about being women—bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and more—written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart. The winner’s shiny new copy will be signed by none other than Lipstick co-author and editor, Leslie Marinelli of The Bearded Iris!

Do you have a copy of the hilarious best-selling collection of hilarious essays, I Just Want To Pee Alone, yet? Well, I bet you don’t have a copy signed by four of the co-authors – Amy Bozza of My Real Life signed one with Kim Bongiorno, Kim Forde and Anna Sandler, and she’s willing to part with it JUST FOR YOU! It covers every parenting topic from planning for your baby, to being driven insane by your children, to… wait, are there other parenting topics? Yes, don’t be silly, of course there are. I’m pretty sure.

From Abby Has Issues, you’ll get a signed paperback copy of Abby Still Has Issues, the 5-star rated second installment of award-winning humor writer Abby’s compiled blogging neurosis – everything from the drama of a cab ride with Aunt Mable to her quest to become a naked sushi model.

Carriage Before Marriage has two stories in the hilarious, irreverent anthology What Was I Thinking: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories featuring essays from Carrie Fisher, Sex and The City producer Cindy Chupack and more. Romantic disasters spun into comedy gold for your entertainment!

Janie Emaus is offering up a autographed paperback copy of her smart and compelling young adult book, Mercury In Retro Love – a story about crushes, conflicts and astrological confusion.

Kim Bongiorno, of Let Me Start By Saying, has generously added an autographed paperback copy of her 5-star rated “Part of My World: Short Stories”, a book that allows the reader to escape into 21 unique, exhilarating worlds.  To boot, she’s including a “How Being a Parent is Like Being a Rock Star” note card, based on her hilarious graphic that’s gone viral (blank inside, with envelope).

You’ll also win an autographed copy of Not Your Mother’s Book…on Being a Parent, co-authored by Stacey Hatton of Nurse Mommy Laughs. These new anthologies are edgy “poultry for the chakra” books and will have you laughing instead of crying.

Of course your library won’t be complete without a signed paperback copy of the best selling debut of humorist Paige Kellerman, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles – a touching story of cankles, gestational diabetes, and one woman’s quest not to pee her own pants while carrying twins.

Still want more parenting laughs? Parenting Gag Reel – Hilarious Writes and Wrongs (from the popular Life Well Blogged series) is for moms and dads who’ve fought to get little ones down for a nap, worn their pajamas to drop off the kids at school or can name at least ten shades of poop. If that’s you, you’re in the right place for an afternoon of laughter, thanks to some very funny bloggers, including Snarkfest.

But wait – that’s not all! Because we love you and we know that just WANTING to read doesn’t always get you the time, setting, and accessories that make it possible, we’re also including all of this:

reading giveaway 3

Because it’s hard to concentrate on reading while the kids are awake, we’ll set you up with the customizable kid’s photo clock of your choice from ZAZOO KiDS! In addition to allowing you to upload your own photos, video and music, it has pre-programmed image alarms to show a child visually when they can start the day or when it is time to rest. Brilliant! For maximum reading time, we recommend setting bedtime to 4 PM.

reading giveaway 4

Because they might still need a little help staying in bed, there’s Duck Tape. Everyone can find a fun and creative use for Duck Tape, from crafty tweens to practical DIYers, to mamas who just want to read for a minute, for Pete’s sake. We’re giving away an awesome prize pack of Duck Tape in assorted colors and patterns.

reading giveaway 5

Because sometimes Mama needs a little glass of something while she reads, you’ll get a monogrammed Vino-2-Go (Wine Sippy! Right? RIGHT? Awesome.) for those special times when you need to be the classiest bitch at a party, or when you’re just afraid you might spill some precious vino on your precious book.

reading giveaway 6

Because you need to be comfortable while you read, we’re bringing you your choice of one throw pillow from Sewn, Inc. Sewn is a small design atelier in Brooklyn, NY, specializing in dressmaking, custom Halloween costumes for children, home decor accents, and quilted Christmas stockings.

reading giveaway 7

Because you might be out and about while you’re reading (hey, it could happen), the winner will also get a $30 gift certificate to the Jennifer Ladd shop on Etsy, which is chock full of gorgeous handbags and change purses.

Nostalgic Graphic Tees Elizabeth Horton

Because you’ll need something clean for your kids to wear if you hope to put off the laundry one more day, let us introduce you to Nostalgic Graphic Tees by Elizabeth Horton. Brushed for softness and screen printed using multiple layers of environmentally friendly ink, you’ll be happy when this becomes your child’s favorite shirt because it’ll stand up to life and washings and still look good enough to hand down to a little brother or sister. Winner gets to choose any tee from the Etsy site. That’s winner’s choice! You just have to pick from a size in stock.

reading giveaway 8

Because you’ll need something cozy to “borrow” from your husband’s closet while you read (or because you’re the husband whose cozy stuff keeps getting “borrowed,” or because you just happen to like reading and comfort), Cool Dads is providing one of their tees. They work hard to make tees that their kids would dig, and that they would be proud to wear too. They feature a tailored fit, custom stitching, and high quality bamboo viscose material that makes their shirts softer than the softest cotton, keep you degrees cooler, and even repel sweat to keep you dry.

reading giveaway 9

Because people are always trying to take the few things around the house that aren’t made by Fisher Price (like your new fantastic book collection) and claim them as their own, label them in style with Name Bubbles. These sturdy, water-resistant and dishwasher safe labels come in a variety of colors, sizes, and fonts so you can personalize them just the way you want. We’re giving away a School Labels Pack, an assortment of over 80 labels!

reading giveaway 10

Because we know you’ll get interrupted while you’re trying to read, you’ll get a $40 gift card to Snappin Studio, where they make unique hand stamped metal keepsakes like beautiful copper bookmarks. What a stylish way to keep track of where you left off, until you’re finished getting the kids just one more glass of water at 10:30 PM! Shop for gorgeous hand stamped metal gifts such as personalized guitar picks, unique anniversary gifts, handmade wedding favors and more.

Also, because we know we’re all just barely holding it together ourselves, we’re including a canvas I Just Want To Pee Alone tote bag so YOU can hold all this stuff together – super rare and totes adorable, you’ll be able to carry all this incredible loot in style.

reading giveaway 11

And finally, because we know we might have forgotten something (Who, US???), the lucky winner will also get a $175.00 Amazon gift card, to spend however he or she wants, although we strongly suggest using it to buy the giveaway hosts something pretty.

That’s almost $700 worth of fantastic prizes!

NOW FOR THE NITTY-GRITTY:

To qualify: You must have a deep, burning desire to own all or part of the stuff mentioned above, and live in the United States. (So sorry, non-United States friends – we love you big time, but we don’t understand your sweepstakes rules and don’t enjoy serving jail time. Also, POSTAGE. Gah. It’s, like, more than college tuition.)

Required: Do the little Rafflecopter thingy. Winner will be chosen at random and notified after the giveaway closes on Saturday, October 5. If there’s no response from the winner within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen and so on until I decide just to keep everything for myself. (I’m kidding, of course. OR AM I? Yes, I’m kidding.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

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DIY Stone Fireplace with AirStone

September 26, 2013 By: Stephanie51 Comments

A few weeks ago I reached out to AirStone to see if they would be willing to partner with me on our fireplace design. I was SO excited when they said yes!

Airstpne Fireplace Makeover

I knew it would be the perfect product for us because I had been told by our builder and my engineer of a husband that the structure of our house wouldn’t support the weight of an entire wall of real stone, like I originally wanted. The living room is in the middle of the house, so this fireplace is on an interior wall sitting over the middle of our open basement. It just doesn’t have enough structural support for that much weight in one spot, not to mention that there was no way real stone was going to fit in the budget. 

AirStone weighs 75% less than real stone, but you honestly can’t tell the difference just by looking at it. The texture is rough and it is cool to the touch, just like real stone, it just weighs a lot less. Plus, it is made out of 80% recycled materials and it is super easy to install, as you will see in a minute. AND it’s very reasonably priced.

DIY Fireplace with AirStoneThe first thing we did was install the flagstone hearth.

I also painted the walls behind the AirStone a dark color at the recommendation of one of our contractors, who had worked with this product before.

We used the online calculator to figure out how much we would need. There are flat edge, natural edge (for edges that will show in the finished product, like the sides of our fireplace wall), and corner pieces available. We needed some of each for this project. We also needed two buckets of the adhesive. We placed our order online for pickup at our local Lowes and I picked up our supplies the next day.

Airstone Kit

Airstone adhesive

One of the hardest parts was getting started. We were a little overwhelmed because it seemed like a giant jigsaw puzzle.

Our contractor was there and he gave us a few tips and told us how he would usually install a product like this.

Once we got up the courage to get started, it wasn’t hard at all.

Just use a putty knife to spread the adhesive on the stone like you are frosting a cupcake or buttering a piece of toast, then stick the stone on the wall.

Airstone installation

 It’s really important to clean the front of the stone right away if you accidentally get some adhesive on it! That is some strong stuff and it dries pretty quickly, but I really appreciated that the smell wasn’t noticeable. We were doing this project with our kids in the house and no one complained at all, not even Nicholas, who has some sensory issues and is very sensitive to smells.

We started working up each side, using a pocket level to make sure we were keeping our lines as straight as possible. We used painters tape and cardboard to protect the fireplace insert.

Airstone fireplace

 Airstone- use a mini level

 If we needed to cut a piece we would take it outside and cut it with a hacksaw. This worked fine, but Eddie said it would have been much faster if we could have used his angle grinder. Unfortunately, a lot of our tools are still in storage. It does make a lot of dust, so I recommend doing it outside if you can.

 Airstone- cut with a hack saw

 Under the hearthstone we used the corner pieces. We had to buy a whole box just for six pieces. I wish they sold these pieces individually.

We used 1/2″ strips of plywood to keep the stones on the hearth slightly up off the floor so that there is a gap for the carpet, which will be installed in about two weeks.  

Airstone corners  

When we got to the top of the fireplace insert, we had to cut vertical supports so that the stones wouldn’t side down before the adhesive set, due to gravity.

Airstone- keep it level

 One quick tip: We used small pieces ripped right from the AirStone box as spacers to keep our stones level.  It saved us a lot of frustration.

Airstone- using cardboard spacers

 We had been warned by someone who had used this product before that it was difficult to keep level, especially once you get to the top. We found this to be true as well.

The last three stones were definitely the hardest!

We still have some caulking to do around the gas fireplace insert and scrape off the drywall mud that accidentally was spread onto it. (I have to admit I’m more than a little irritated about that because there are also two large scratches on it from where someone tried to scape off the mud.)

Overall, I’m really  happy with the finished product!

Airstone Fireplace DIY    

 We will be making a nice big, chunky mantle within the next few weeks and the painter is starting TODAY.

Only about three weeks until our projected finish date!

 UPDATE: See our finished fireplace and how to build a floating fireplace mantle:

Build your own fire place mantle with 5 boards

Thanks to AirStone for sponsoring this project! I was provided with the materials to complete this project. All opinions are my own.

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Fireplace Makeover Part 1: How to Lay a Flagstone Hearth

September 25, 2013 By: Stephanie6 Comments

Last weekend we spent ALL DAY Saturday on our fireplace. It took us about 10.5 hours total, but it was so worth it. We starting by preparing the walls and laying the flagstone hearth.

First we had to prep the walls for the AirStone we were going to be using. I took all 3 kids with me to the home improvement store to pick up paint and supplies and got to work paining the walls a dark color. (If I had it to do over again, I would have primed the walls first because some of the paint started to peel later.)

Fireplace Makeover

Fireplace

While I was painting, Eddie went to a local concrete supplier and picked up the Pennsylvania Flagstone (also called Bluestone) we had ordered.  We had also checked landscaping companies and fireplace suppliers, but the concrete yard was the only place with an 18″ deep piece in stock. Living in PA means we have access to a lot of great stone. Even though the budget and the structure of the house didn’t allow for us to be able to use real stone for the entire project, I wanted a native piece of flagstone in the house. 

Eddie’s parents came by to keep and eye on the kids and his dad and our contractor helped us get the giant piece of stone into the house. It measures 72″ x 18′ x 2″ and weighs about 300 pounds. This type of long, rectangular piece is called a “tread stone.”

We had already reinforced the framing for the hearth with plywood and vertical supports (which are hidden under the plywood). 

Fireplace Hearth, flagstone

 

Our contractor, Mike, let us borrow his rubbing stone to take the sharp edges off the flagstone and make it a little safer for the kids.

fireplace hearth installation

 

Originally we had planned to use mortar to attach the flagstone to the hearth, but when he saw how heavy this stone was it was pretty clear it wasn’t going anywhere and Mike thought silicone would be the way to go. It made the process pretty fast and easy. The guys laid a thick bead of silicone.

fireplace hearth

 

Then they marked a center line on the stone and one on the fireplace wall and they picked up the stone (carefully!) and laid it down, matching up the center lines.

 

fireplace flagstone   

I was really happy that we were able to select a local stone that coordinated so well with the AirStone we were going to be using.

Check back tomorrow for Part 2. 🙂

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Confessions of a Diet Cheater: Week 1 with Green Giant

September 24, 2013 By: Stephanie9 Comments

I have been offered a really cool opportunity to partner with Green Giant over the next few weeks!

Sweet. I love Green Giant. I use their broccoli with cheese sauce over baked potatoes all the time for an easy lunch.

broccoli

The catch?

In order to be part of this experience, I have to be open with the whole entire internet (you guys) about my diet cheating habits.

You know, the things we all tell ourselves (or maybe it’s just me?) to feel better about eating stuff we aren’t supposed to…

Like, “Peanut butter ice cream can’t be that bad for me. It is protein and dairy… It’s practically a protein shake!” 

Along with a few other bloggers, I have been introduced to Dr. V from Bravo’s “L.A. Shrinks” and she will be giving us “prescriptions” (really just tips from a pro, we aren’t taking any diet pills or doing anything sketchy) and we will be working to correct some of our cheating ways.

This is what they say about her: Sharp-tongued with a mind to match, Dr. Venus Nicolino (aka, Dr. V) certainly serves up the sass, but when it comes to her clients, Dr. V’s code is one of genuine kindness and recognition in the transformative powers of empathy. Using her compassionate understanding of the human condition with an occasional dash of profanity, she tackles the obstacles and joys that make up life. A blue-collar girl at heart, Dr. V now resides in Bel Air with her husband Matthew, their two sons, ages 3 and 5, and their two nephews, ages 5 and 7, who are now under their permanent guardianship.

She sounds pretty cool, and also a little intimidating.

Dr. V

(I’m totally copying Dr. V and painting my own name on my arm at my next black tie event. )

Here she is to introduce herself:

 
 

 

I am really excited about this!

We are a family that does normally try to eat pretty healthy, but because we are in such a weird state of transition right now as we build the house and a lot of our stuff is in storage, we have been relying too much on convenience foods and letting some of the more healthy options in our frig go to waste.

I’m hoping that adding the Green Giant veggies into our routine will make it easier for me to add affordable healthy options that won’t go to waste  if I can’t get to them right away because they will stay put in the freezer. 🙂

I made my very first blog for Dr.V (See, she has me stepping outside of my comfort zone already.) Since I love you so much, if you can spare a few minutes, I will show you the inside of our refrigerator.  Plus, you get the added bonus of seeing me sans makeup first thing in the morning AND you get to hear me say “NO, you can’t eat a pickle at 6am!” to the kid who wouldn’t leave me alone while I was trying to “work” because he wanted a pickle for breakfast.

 

 There. I showed you mine. Now show me yours. I would LOVE to see the inside of your freezer or refrigerator!  (I’m just nosy like that) Take a photo and upload it to my Binkies and Briefcases Facebook page. And while you are there, tell me some of your diet cheats. We can work on kicking them together over the next few weeks.

This week my goal is to be to rely less on convenience foods.  It’s going to be hard, but I know having lots of frozen healthy options that I can just pop in the microwave will make it a little bit less of a challenge.

What is your goal going to be?

 

Thanks to Green Giant for sponsoring this post! All opinions are my own.

 

 

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Our New Neighborhood

September 20, 2013 By: Stephanie5 Comments

We still have 4 more weeks before our new house is scheduled to be finished, but we have been spending a lot of time in the neighborhood visiting our construction site and taking Nicholas back and forth to school.

The other day I brought my camera along so that I could show you some pictures of the ‘hood. (That is probably the one and only time in your life that you will hear Central Pennsylvania referred to as “the ‘hood.”)

This is what we see as we walk across our acreage to pick up Nick from school…

Around here it’s pretty normal to see a tractor parked in your neighbor’s yard.

 central pa

I’m very jealous of this neighbor’s gazebo garden.

central pa 1

Our mailbox is at the end of this gravel road, which dead ends right into the parking lot of Nick’s elementary school. 

central pa 2

 

This is our view on our walk to the mailbox.

central pa 3

And this was taken from the same spot, looking in the other direction.

central pa 6

Lately, if Nick has a “smiley face day” we go to a park about two blocks away after school. The kids like the river that runs through the park. 

central pa 7

I’m not sure why, but there is hardly ever anyone there. It’s really nice to have the whole place to ourselves.

central pa 11

My school guy is getting big!

central pa 8

central pa 10 

central pa 12

I can’t wait to share more pictures of the neighborhood once we are settled!

 

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Need a Ladies’ Night Out? I Have Two for You.

September 16, 2013 By: Stephaniecomment

Pull out your phones, iPads, palm pilots, and paper calendars, friends.

You are going to want to write this down.

I have TWO fabulous Ladies’ Night Out events planned for you over the next few weeks.

First, on October 3rd, I’ll be joining Meredith from The Mom of the Year and Ellen and Erin from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms in Downingtown, PA at Kismet Consignment for an amazing book signing/LNO. Can you say free wine, lipstick, and cupcakes? We can!

book signing at kismet

THEN I don’t know if you’ve heard, but on October 16th the writer’s of I Just Want to Pee Alone have declared a national holiday. We can do that.

Yeah, that’s right. It’s National Ladies’ Night Out. It could even go international if you are reading this somewhere out side of the US and you want in on the action.

Meredith and I will be running the Pennsylvania group meet up at the Applebe’s in Lancaster, PA. (Near the outlets.)

But there are groups of women meeting all over the country.

Check out Jen’s master list of all the locations here. She also has information on how you can get involved if you don’t see your area listed.

Hope to see some of you at one or both of these fun nights!

pee alone night

 

 

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Character Assassination Carousel: Arthur’s Birthday Book

September 9, 2013 By: Stephanie18 Comments

Thanks to my friend, Nicole Leigh Shaw, Tyop Aretist, for having me on her Character Assassination Carousel today! It’s a really fun series where we shine a spot light on all the crazy being presented to our children every day via kiddie lit. Like this little gem Nick brought home the other day…

 Last Wednesday my kindergartener was very excited because for the first time he was able to pick out a book from the school library and he was actually allowed to bring it home. He was so proud and eager to share his book with his sisters as their bedtime story. It was all downhill from there.

arthur cover

What happened next was on me. I should have read the book myself first, but I didn’t.

I trusted a character we knew and the PBS sticker on the front of the book and I dove right in.

It started innocently enough…

 Arthur is excited because his birthday is just days away. Hey, me too! (My birthday is this Thursday. I take presents in the form of chocolate and free babysitting.)

 He takes his party invitations to school to hand them out to the kids in his class. His second grade class. We can infer this because Arthur is turning 8 during the school year. Arthur mentions inviting one girl to his party, Francine.

Francine immediately asks if they can play Spin the Bottle because, apparently, Francine is the whore of the whole second grade. 

At this point my eyebrows were raised and my 4-year-old asked what “spin the bottle” meant, but we trudged onward in the name of literacy.

 But oh no! Muffy’s party is going to be on the same day.

Arthur’s party or Muffy’s? It’s quite the quagmire.

 The boys very reasonably discuss the situation at recess and decide to stick together. They are smiling and supportive of their friend. Meanwhile,  the girls PMS all over the jungle gym. Muffy channels her inner Future Real Housewife and assertively declares, “Anyone who doesn’t come to my party can’t be my friend,” while Francine laments the lack of boys, just as every hormonally-charged seven-year-old should.

Shhhh….we’re coming up on my favorite part.

The part where all the second graders are left unsupervised after  school and Francine asks one of life’s most important philosophical questions.

 I mean, truly, what IS a party without boys? Especially when you are 7 going on 8. Or 18. You pick. We can’t ask Francine because she and Arthur are busy canoodling behind a fence.

Luckily, all that canoodling led to the ingenious plan to lie to all of their friends and forge Muffy’s handwriting on notes to other people.  We can’t be sure why they need to forge Muffy’s handwriting since it turns out that Muffy is actually the one they are trying to surprise. One would think that we shouldn’t make it look like she is part of the plan, just in case one of those friends who received the fake note from “Muffy” tried to talk to her about it. Also, why are we trying to move everything to Arthur’s house? Muffy’s place is gigantic and she’s already told us she has a rock band lined up. Don’t think about it too hard. There’s no room for logic in this tree house. The pheromones are taking up too much space. Just look at Francine’s face. She can’t resist that musky little aardvark. I also like the not-so-subtly placed love birds over the Keep Out sign. Classy.

Still without any adult supervision, Arthur and Francine sneak around the neighborhood at the butt crack of dawn committing all kinds of federal offenses: tampering with mail, forgery, trespassing…it’s all in good fun.

Check out that note Arthur left for Muffy. “Dear Muffy, I have a special present for you. It is so big…Please come to my house at noon today to get it.” Ahem.

Lest we forget that it is Arthur’s birthday, we are told that three birthday cards come in the mail. He only opens one. The one with the money in it. Priorities, people. Get some. Arthur’s gonna need those dollar bills if he continues spending all that time with Francine.

 Finally, all of their friends arrive, confused. Nobody knows how they got there. Turns out those “surprise packages” in their mailboxes may have been laced with roofies and chloroform. There’s no time for questions, Muffy is on her way!

 Surprise!

Ain’t no party like a boy/girl party and these animals will go to great lengths to rock out co-ed style. Especially our favorite little skanky ferret.

Look at her being all coy as she hands Arthur that big ol’ box. “You have to promise me you’ll use it right away.”

Let’s just try to ignore the fact that Buster is blowing a phallic party favor right at this moment.     

What could it be? 

  Am I the only one who is hearing Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg singing something about something in a box right now?

 Of course!

A personalized Spin the Bottle game!

Just what every eight-year-old needs. 

Sleep tight, kids! Now please excuse me while I bleach my eyeballs and brush my teeth because I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 *Unfortunately, this is an actual book that my son really did bring home from the school library during the third week of kindergarten. Let credit go where it  is due. All photos represented come from the book Arthur’s Birthday (An Arthur Adventure)by Marc Brown. It’s available on Amazon, where they recommend that this book is appropriate for ages 3-6. Gag me with a spoon.

arthur age

 If you liked seeing Arthur assassinated today, check out the previous assassin, Urban Moo Cow, and be on the look out for the next post in the series, which will be from Mommy Needs a Martini.

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Easy 2 Minute Omelet

August 30, 2013 By: Stephanie2 Comments

Two Minute Omelets

Now that Nick is back in school our mornings can feel a little rushed, but I want to make sure he gets a filling breakfast because his class has the very last lunch time. He gets to school at 8:45, but doesn’t have lunch until 12:40. That’s a long time for a kindergartener to wait for lunch!  (They do get a small snack in the morning in the classroom.)

We do a lot of quick but filling breakfasts like instant oatmeal or Greek yogurt, but his favorite is eggs.

This week I started making him some super fast omelets in the microwave. These babies are ready in two minutes flat. Literally. That’s faster than I can toast a Poptart.

Easy omelets in the microwave.  Perfect for busy school mornings.

How to make an omelet in two minutes:

Crack two eggs into a ceramic, microwave safe bowl. I use these.

easy omelet

Whisk the eggs with a fork and add any ingredients your little heart desires. (If you add meat it should be pre-cooked.) My favorite is spinach and feta, but today I used diced tomatoes, onions, peppers and shredded mozzarella cheese to mine. Nick likes his plain.

easy omelets

Stir and microwave for one minute, then pull the bowl out to check. Sometimes I flip the omelet at this point if it looks like the sides are getting too done. Otherwise, I just swirl the bowl to redistribute the part that is still runny. 

Put the bowl back in the microwave for 45 seconds. At this point a plain omelet (just eggs or eggs and cheese) should be done.

If you have extra veggies or meat in there, flip the omelet and microwave it for another 30 seconds.

It will look like this. It tastes good, but it’s not very pretty.

microwave omelet

Flip it out onto a plate and fold it in half.

omelet

Ta-da!

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Healthier Options for Convenience Foods

August 27, 2013 By: Stephanie3 Comments

I have a feeling that the Whole Foods Moms are not going to love me after this post.

But here’s the thing, I named my blog Binkies and Briefcases because I believe in balance. Even though I’d love for my whole family to eat 100% organic whole food all of the time, at this stage in our lives that’s just not realistic. We have active kids, busy schedules, and we are in a temporary living situation until our new home is finished. 90%of my kitchen supplies are still in storage. To give you an idea, I made fried zucchini the other  night using a plastic fork to flip them during the frying process. Sadly, the fork did not survive. Happily, I managed not to burn myself.

You get the idea. Anyway, the point is, sometimes we just need the, well, convenience of convenience food.  

I’ve been really paying attention to the labels at the store lately, and I’ve found a few products that we really like because they are easy, not any more expensive than their less-healthy counterparts, and they taste good. 

This is not a sponsored post (although I wouldn’t mind if these brands decided they want to send me a check), I just wanted to share because we’re crushing on them right now.

Examples of healthier convenience foods

Utz Potato Chips

These are a local product. They are made right in my grandparents’ neighborhood. If you’re not in the mid-Atlantic region, then I’m sorry for your loss because these really are yummy. We have always bought these chips anyway because they taste good and we grew up on them, but even after I started worrying about switching our family to whole foods I just kept right on buying them because…

utz potato chips ingredients

They only have 3 ingredients: potatoes, oil, and salt. I only buy the original or ruffled version, which has the same ingredients list, because the other flavors have more ingredients. Granted, cottonseed oil isn’t the best kind of oil in the whole universe, but I’m okay with giving these to my kids as a sometimes food.

The next convenience food I wanted to share with you is 

Annie’s Homegrown Mac & Cheese

Macaroni and Cheese is my middle daughter, Abby’s, favorite food in the whole entire world. She would eat it every day. Often, she does. It’s MUCH cheaper, not to mention easier and faster, to buy a boxed version than to make it from scratch. 

I buy this at Target.You can also buy it here. This week at Tar-Jay the stove top kind was on sale for $1/box, which is only a few cents more than other well known brands. I also really appreciated that they had a box with a character my children recognized. It can be hard to explain why we aren’t buying “the Monster’s Inc. kind” or “the one with the Transformers on it.” 

organic pasta mac n cheese

I like that the pasta is organic, the cheese is real (“Cultured Pasteurized Milk, Salt, Non-Animal Enzymes” as opposed to “WHEY, CORN SYRUP SOLIDS, PALM OIL, MILKFAT, SALT, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF MEDIUM CHAIN TRIGLYCERIDES, SODIUM TRIPOLYPHOSPHATE, CITRIC ACID, GUAR GUM, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, NATURAL FLAVOR, LACTIC ACID, CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE, YELLOW 5, YELLOW 6, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, ENZYMES, CHEESE CULTURE); MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, MALTODEXTRIN, POTASSIUM CHLORIDE, ACETYLATED MONOGLYCERIDES, SALT, MEDIUM CHAIN TRIGLYCERIDES, APOCAROTENAL (COLOR).”-actual ingredients  for the “cheese” in the other brand.)   and that there aren’t any hormones or artificial colors or flavors.

Abby and Penny both ate the microwavable kind for lunch today. I believe it was $3.50 for a box of 5 pouches, which is about $0.70 per serving.  I tasted it and was surprised that it tasted very familiar, much like the stove top version of the brand in the blue box.  

I also buy other Annie’s products at Target, although I do find that many of them are more expensive than the non-organic versions of the same snack food.

I’m sending 3 boxes of Annie’s snack mix bunnies for the kindergarten class snack tomorrow. It would have been cheaper to buy something else, but I feel better knowing that I’m not giving the kids hormones and chemicals.

Have you tried any of these products or are there others that you can share?

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Welcome! I’m Steph.

This is a little corner of the internet we like to fill with honesty, heart, and humor. Read More…

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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Stephanie Giese is an indie author based in Florida. She writes stories about realistic problems with humor, heart, and sass. Her work has a strong focus on mental health and consent. Her North Bay small-town romance series is set for release in 2025.

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

4 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know it’s a small thing, but I believe small things can add up to big changes. my entire North Bay series, including Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base, is free on Kindle from Jan. 30-Feb. 3. Please take the funds you might have spent on my books this week and reallocate them toward the areas in our country that need them the most. Follow creators like Dad Chats who can direct you toward practical needs local to them. I hope my quirky romcoms can bring you some comfort and joy during difficult times, and I hope together we can take small, practical steps toward big changes. ... See MoreSee Less

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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

4 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know there is an overall feeling of helplessness in our country right now. So many of us are at a loss for what to do beyond making phone calls and social media posts (which are still important, but can feel like not enough). I believe strongly in the power of small things adding up to big ones. As one person, I might not be able to do much, but what I CAN do is use my voice and my books to work toward the change I’d like to see. That’s why, for the next five days, from Jan. 30-Feb 3, I’m making the Kindle versions of my entire North Bay series (Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base) completely free. Art has power, and I do hope these comedies can bring you some comfort and joy in difficult times, but most importantly, I also hope you’ll consider redirecting the funds you might’ve spent on my books and donating instead to one of the many charities working tirelessly in our cities right now. If you are located in an area like Minnesota or Portland, please use the space below to make people aware of the organizations in your area that need help. ... See MoreSee Less
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