For the past 2 months, we have been living with my in-laws while we prepare to build our new home on the land we purchased last year. Of course, there were some adjustments at first, particularly for the kids. Our son, who is adopted and has some attachment issues, really struggles with any sort of transition and he was thrown off-kilter for a while. I don’t think they are huge fans of our “just keep the clean laundry in baskets” method. My poor husband is now commuting about 2 hours each way for work. It definitely has its pitfalls, but it also has its perks and that’s what I’d like to talk about today.

10 Things I Love About Living With My In-Laws

1. Companionship. My sweet mother-in-law is disabled and home during the day. Before we were living here I would worry about her being lonely and, although I was constantly surrounded by children, it was easy for me to feel lonely too. Now we each have someone with whom we can hold an adult conversation and a partner for household chores during the day.

2. Weekends. Unfortunately, my husband now has crazy long work hours and is usually gone 14 or more hours each day. However, since he is commuting so far, his employer graciously allowed him to work longer days 4 days a week, and be “off” on Fridays. He still frequently needs to be in conference calls and approve timesheets or do other administrative type tasks on Friday, but he is HOME 3 days a week now.

3. Time to take care of myself. Since we have been here I have started seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, which I have needed to do for years but couldn’t because we couldn’t afford to hire a babysitter that many times a week in addition to the added healthcare costs. Now my back feels better, which means I’m in a better mood, able to sleep better, and exercise more. I’m more motivated to eat right and have gone down 2 pant sizes.

4. Being close to my family too. My family also lives in this area, so my parents and sister have been available when they aren’t working to help with the kids or attend special events. For example, my sister went in my place to “lunch with your child” at my son’s kindergarten class. He thought it was awesome to be surprised with a visit from Aunt Charlotte and I didn’t need to worry about taking my nursing baby out in 20-degree weather in the middle of nap time.

5. Having my son in school. I know not everyone will agree with this decision, but it doesn’t matter. We were forced to stop cyber schooling when we moved in with my in-laws because the cyber school we were using didn’t have jurisdiction in this state. We had to enroll him in the local public school so that he could continue receiving services for his special needs. He really looks forward to school every day and, if I’m being 100% honest, I am really enjoying having a bit of a breather. He has been a very high-maintenance child (14 different specialists within the past 3 years) and we are learning that it is better for our family dynamic if I can just be a mom instead of mom and teacher.

6. Reconnecting with old friends. I have a few close friends from high school and college who are now stay-at-home moms in this area. We have been able to get together much more frequently than we do when I am living over an hour away.

7. Sharing old traditions with our kids. There is something special about driving every day past the church where you got married and being able to point it out to your children, or having them use the same tiny spoons at dinnertime that your husband used as a child. “This was your daddy’s favorite blanket too,” brings a level of comfort to a hard transition that just wouldn’t be there if we were on our own and renting a temporary apartment.

8. Saving money. Duh. We have to talk about it. That’s the main reason for most inter-generational living these days. It’s a plus.

9. Making memories. I lived with my grandmother for several years, so I know first hand that the memories my children are making are priceless.

10. It’s only temporary. It’s probably keeping us all a little more sane to know that come summer we will all be living in our own houses once again. 🙂

Want to read about our home building process? Check out these posts!

How to Budget for Building Your Own Home

10 Things I’m Glad We Did While Building a New Home

Did you miss me? Sorry, I know I have been MIA for quite a while. We are living with my in-laws temporarily until our new home is built and the computer is in the same room where the baby sleeps, which leaves less time for blogging.

I am seeing tons of people posting their goals for the New Year on social media and I thought it would be a good time to revisit the Building The Dream series since my #1 goal for 2013 is to GET OUR HOUSE BUILT!

We’re getting there, slowly but surely.

I had NO IDEA how involved the process of developing land from scratch would be. Running utilities, developing storm water plans,  and sub-diving our large lot for the possibility of future development has been complicated and time consuming, not to mention developing the plans for the actual house.  I am sooooo thankful that I married an professional engineer who can design and stamp our plans. Otherwise, we would already have spent an additional $15,000 + just on design fees. As it stands, we are only paying the required fees for each permit as they arise, but those costs are already in the thousands. It is taking forever, I tell you, but in the end it will be worth it.

Right now we (and by “we” I mean Eddie) are putting the final touches on our sub-division plan and addressing comments that the board made about our storm water plan. Once we have approvals on both of those things we can go to the bank for our final loan approval and then FINALLY get zoning & building permits. That could potentially take until mid-February, which will be over a year after we purchased the lot.

We are hoping to break ground in early spring and be in the house by late summer so that Nicholas can start first grade in the neighborhood school in September.

It is going to look a lot like this:

  source

In other related news, we had to quit homeschooling through no fault of our own. Because we are temporarily staying with family in another state, the cyber school we were using for Nicholas forced us to withdrawal because they don’t offer services in MD. I can’t go the traditional homeschooling route because then we would have to pay for all of his special services out of pocket. We had to file for a special kind of living arrangement called Shared Domicile with the housing office (basically, we are legally homeless) and we will be registering him for a local school here next week. Fingers crossed  for the little guy. I think he will enjoy it though. He is my social butterfly.

Our only other big news right now is that yesterday Miss Penelope turned one! I can’t believe how fast that year went. We had a brunch with family & friends to celebrate.

What about about you? What is our biggest goal for the new year?

Baby Steps. We are in a holding pattern right now in the house building process. We need to sell the house we live in now before construction can begin.

We have a good bit of savings and inheritance that we are using in the mean time to do the not-all-that-exciting stuff like pay permit fees, and erect poles.

Recently, we had to remove a few trees so that the electric pole could be installed. Our lines will be run underground to connect to the house, but another pole needed to be added at the end of the street so that the lines could reach our property. We paid to have two large trees removed and Eddie and a friend cut down a third. The electric company wound up needing to remove another to install the pole.

We’ve planted quite a few more trees so don’t fret too much about the ones that were removed.

I love the view that will become the back yard. It’s hard to tell from the picture, but that corn is probably a good 7 or 8 feet tall. The small trees are fruit (peach, apple and pear) and will eventually grow into a small backyard orchard.  I’m looking forward to planting a large vegetable garden. Hopefully in the spring.

Now somebody please buy our current house!

Practical advice, please. I don’t really care about a wine ‘frig, but I might consider a pot filler if those of you who have those are actually using them.

Things I know I want:

• Deep farmhouse sink
• 5 or 6 burner gas stove
• Decorative range hood. 
• Built-in microwave not over the stove. (I a pet peeve about having the microwave over the stove. I steam veggies and stuff in the microwave while I’m also cooking on the stovetop. I don’t need to be standing in front of a running microwave all the time. That’s supposed to be really bad for you. but I want to save the counter space, so I like the idea of having it built-in.)
• A big, huge island with a breakfast bar that will seat at least 3. 
• The dishwasher located to the right of the sink. I’ve had them on both sides, and to the right is so much easier when you are right-handed. 
• Several deep drawers in lieu of bottom cabinets (my aunt Chott’s kitchen is like this and it makes  a big difference)
• Some open shelving because I collect a lot of decorative stoneware
• I like having an appliance garage in the corner, but Eddie hates them. (party pooper)

So now here is where I need your advice:

Do I really want a double oven? Of course, I want one, but if you have it, how often do you use the second oven, for real? Is it really worth thousands of extra dollars?

Do you have a pot filler? Do you use it? I think I want one and it would be pretty easy to install because there will already be plumbing for the laundry area on the other side of the stove.

Do you think I’m going to regret two-tone cabinets? (different kinds for main kitchen & island) I kind of love it at the moment, but I’m still worried it’s too trendy. 

How well does butcher block hold up? I’d love to do the whole kitchen in quartz or Corrianne (not a big fan of the idea of granite or marble because if I pay that much, I don’t want to also have the extra work to maintain it and I don’t like the idea of bacteria getting into the porous surfaces. Plus marble stains.) but I’m not sure that’s in the budget.

Do you have your trash can built into a cabinet? I like the idea of having it out of sight, but I don’t like the idea of giving up my cabinet space. 

Any other advice or tips that you think might help us out in the future?

For example, my Uncle Sonny told us to make sure if you install recessed lights, put them above the countertop. If they are behind you, you will constantly be working in your own shadow.

UPDATE:
Less than a week after I posted this plan, Stephen Alexander posted this on their Facebook page: the EXACT kitchen that was in my head! How cool is that? 

***Check out our completed IKEA kitchen and how it held up after two years! We also DIYed our range hood and installed a brick backsplash since we moved in. Plus, here’s my chemical-free method for keeping my white farmhouse sink clean.

Last night we met with our builder for three and a half hours going over details and negotiating our final price.

There have been a few issues that came up with utilities. Mainly the gas company wanted to charge us $25,000 to extend their gas main so we said umm..no thanks and decided to go with propane. That changed the initial estimate, so we had to do some finagling to get back down to a price range we could afford.

We reduced the size of the basement, cut out a few unnecessary windows (I don’t need two full-size windows above the tub or in the toilet closet), and decided to go with vinyl flooring instead of tile.

We kept as many things as possible that we knew would be too hard to change later, like a rough-in for a basement bathroom, the fireplace, etc.

We’re very nervous about stretching ourselves too far (That’s how the economy got in this mess in the first place, remember?) but even though the mortgage will be significantly more than our current mortgage, it is still within our means, so we are going for it as long as the bank makes the final approval. Hopefully, we will have that news very soon.

In the meantime, we are working with the electric company to get new poles and service and Eddie is applying for 18 gazillion different permits. We actually needed a separate permit from the state because they own the back of the sidewalk that touches our driveway. True story.

Also, I got the final dimensions for our master closet. It’s 10 x 14, which is bigger than the girls’ current bedroom. I’m sooooo excited to finally have all of our clothes in one place and not have half of them in storage under beds or in the basement. I’m not budging on the kitchen, master bathroom, or closet. Everywhere else we will be cutting the budget wherever we can, trying to shop smart or recycle or reuse materials to try to stay under our allowances.

Hopefully, these posts will include construction pictures very soon!