For the past 2 months, we have been living with my in-laws while we prepare to build our new home on the land we purchased last year. Of course, there were some adjustments at first, particularly for the kids. Our son, who is adopted and has some attachment issues, really struggles with any sort of transition and he was thrown off-kilter for a while. I don’t think they are huge fans of our “just keep the clean laundry in baskets” method. My poor husband is now commuting about 2 hours each way for work. It definitely has its pitfalls, but it also has its perks and that’s what I’d like to talk about today.
10 Things I Love About Living With My In-Laws
1. Companionship. My sweet mother-in-law is disabled and home during the day. Before we were living here I would worry about her being lonely and, although I was constantly surrounded by children, it was easy for me to feel lonely too. Now we each have someone with whom we can hold an adult conversation and a partner for household chores during the day.
2. Weekends. Unfortunately, my husband now has crazy long work hours and is usually gone 14 or more hours each day. However, since he is commuting so far, his employer graciously allowed him to work longer days 4 days a week, and be “off” on Fridays. He still frequently needs to be in conference calls and approve timesheets or do other administrative type tasks on Friday, but he is HOME 3 days a week now.
3. Time to take care of myself. Since we have been here I have started seeing a chiropractor 3x a week, which I have needed to do for years but couldn’t because we couldn’t afford to hire a babysitter that many times a week in addition to the added healthcare costs. Now my back feels better, which means I’m in a better mood, able to sleep better, and exercise more. I’m more motivated to eat right and have gone down 2 pant sizes.
4. Being close to my family too. My family also lives in this area, so my parents and sister have been available when they aren’t working to help with the kids or attend special events. For example, my sister went in my place to “lunch with your child” at my son’s kindergarten class. He thought it was awesome to be surprised with a visit from Aunt Charlotte and I didn’t need to worry about taking my nursing baby out in 20-degree weather in the middle of nap time.
5. Having my son in school. I know not everyone will agree with this decision, but it doesn’t matter. We were forced to stop cyber schooling when we moved in with my in-laws because the cyber school we were using didn’t have jurisdiction in this state. We had to enroll him in the local public school so that he could continue receiving services for his special needs. He really looks forward to school every day and, if I’m being 100% honest, I am really enjoying having a bit of a breather. He has been a very high-maintenance child (14 different specialists within the past 3 years) and we are learning that it is better for our family dynamic if I can just be a mom instead of mom and teacher.
6. Reconnecting with old friends. I have a few close friends from high school and college who are now stay-at-home moms in this area. We have been able to get together much more frequently than we do when I am living over an hour away.
7. Sharing old traditions with our kids. There is something special about driving every day past the church where you got married and being able to point it out to your children, or having them use the same tiny spoons at dinnertime that your husband used as a child. “This was your daddy’s favorite blanket too,” brings a level of comfort to a hard transition that just wouldn’t be there if we were on our own and renting a temporary apartment.
8. Saving money. Duh. We have to talk about it. That’s the main reason for most inter-generational living these days. It’s a plus.
9. Making memories. I lived with my grandmother for several years, so I know first hand that the memories my children are making are priceless.
10. It’s only temporary. It’s probably keeping us all a little more sane to know that come summer we will all be living in our own houses once again. 🙂
Want to read about our home building process? Check out these posts!
How to Budget for Building Your Own Home
10 Things I’m Glad We Did While Building a New Home
Anna says
This is so kind, refreshing and big-hearted of you to focus on the good of this experience. Also: better you than me 🙂
Motherhood on the Rocks says
I too understand what you mean when you say you’re lonely even though you’re rarely alone. It can be tough being a stay at home mom!
Congrats on the weight loss! Two pants sizes is really great! It’s great that you were able to get some relief. I know people who deal with chronic pain and it’s so draining.
Stephanie says
Thank you. I think all SAHM’s get a little lonely sometimes, but it’s still the best job in the world.