Remember when I said I was making a promise to give this blog my authentic voice, even if it turned some people off occasionally?It’s time to live up to that promise. Here we go….
Gay Marriage. We’re talking about it over here again. We’ll be back to the regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
I’ve told you before. I’m a conservative Christian AND I’m very pro-gay rights. I’ve told you about my friend Rene and I’m going there again. This time with a little more theology because I’ve been thinking and praying about this a LOT lately.
Some secret background info: I actually started working with Rene on a book about this very thing (which may still happen and if/when it does, will be awesome!), but then I let it slide because I was feeling conflicted and I got a few other book offers that took precedence. I started praying about whether or not I was putting the right message out there. After about a year of honest prayer, I feel very convicted that my writing is a spiritual gift and sometimes there is a message that God wants people to get through their thick skulls. The message is always this: Love.
If you live in a big city or a more liberal part of the country, you are probably wondering why this is still an issue at all.
But, I’m here to tell you that it IS an issue in small town America. A big one. I know because I live here. I just saw it first hand (again!) today. Twice. Someone wanted to deny homosexuals the right to be part of a Christian homeschool group because WE are Christians and THEY are sinners, after all. I don’t know how that ended because I left that group immediately after I wrote a similar response to the one below on their Facebook page. Also, this article came out challenging the old-school mentality of our state. There are many reasons I love Pennsylvania, but…
Sigh.
Really? Come on, you guys.
That’s not what the church is about. It’s not what our country is about either.
Imagine for a second that you walked into a church and the pastor or priest said to you, “Oh wait. You’re a sinner? You can’t come in here. We don’t allow sinners to be part of this group. ”
That’s just stupid and it would make for a very empty church. We’re ALL sinners. Yet that’s what we do to our gay friends and neighbors every single day. This life insurance policy? Oh, you can’t collect it, even though you were committed to your partner for 50+ years. This tax refund? Sorry, no dice. You’d like to adopt a child with special needs who has spent the last ten years in foster care praying for a loving family? Too bad.
I want to tell you two stories, friends.
Story 1: Once upon a time there was a man in his 30’s. He had a very strong belief that a certain group of people in his society were to be seen as less than him because of their belief system and practices. He was strong in his convictions. He wrote a book about it, became a government official over time, and made sure that “those people” did not have the same rights as others in his society. It became very clear that the rest of the civilized world did not agree with this approach. A few years later he shot himself and died.
Story 2: One upon a time there was a man in his 30’s. He had a very strong belief that his mission in life was to help and serve the less fortunate and spread a message of God’s love. Many in power did not agree with his message. He submitted willingly to be beaten and executed.
You tell me which one was Hitler and which one was Jesus.
Not to mention that, gay or not, our friends (I’m going to keep referring to them that way to get past the “those people” mentality) are American citizens. As such, they have rights.We’ve talked about it here before. My personal stance is that, sinful or not, never in the history of the world has it ever been a good idea to deny any group of people civil liberties because of their belief system or practices. In my prayerful consideration and biblical research in support of gay rights, I have come upon 3 passages that I found especially relevant:
1. Acts 10:15- “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” God is talking to Peter about how it is alright now to eat things that had previously been considered “unclean.” It’s why Christians don’t feel the need to eat Kosher any more. I believe it’s especially relevant in our modern context in this application. You can be Christian and be gay. We say that believe that ANY Christian, gay or otherwise, has been “cleansed in the blood of the lamb” so I would argue that to call them unclean is downright disobedient.
2. Luke 20:25 “Well then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.” Jesus was answering a trick question about whether or not his followers should be required to pay taxes. His answer very clearly shows that Jesus himself advocated separation of church and state. I believe that legal marriage and the benefits that come with it (access to pensions, life insurance, tax refunds, etc.) are “Caesar’s” and should not be denied to anyone on the basis that they are sinners. Then what other rights will be denied us all because, after all, we are ALL sinners and if we accept this as a reasonable excuse for denying civil rights, I fear the future for all of us. (Remember what happened when that first guy we talked about was in charge? Spoiler alert: It sucked.)
3. Acts 22: 25 “As they stretched him out to flog him, Paul said to the centurion standing there, “Is it legal for you to flog a Roman citizen who hasn’t even been found guilty?” Paul claims his rights as a Roman citizen when he is about to be beaten for causing a ruckus. It’s a biblical example of people having certain rights as a citizens of their country, regardless of what they are practicing in their personal lives. I believe that the legal benefits that come along with marriage are rights that people have as “Roman” (American) citizens, regardless of the decisions they chose to make behind closed bedroom doors.
Phew.
I’ll back off the Bible-thumping tomorrow and show you some of the progress on our house, but since this issue is close to my heart and smacked me in the face a few times today, I just couldn’t sit idly by without saying something.
Thanks for hanging in there with my rant!
Thank you. Thank You!!!! I too am a Christian who believes in gay rights. I am from small town IN and it is a very big deal right now especially in regards to the Boy Scouts. Several churches in the area have pulled funding and I am disgusted!! I find it very difficult to explain to people how I can be a Christian with my beliefs. My resounding answer is always LOVE!!! You were able to back it up with scripture which is AMAZING!!!!
Thank YOU for taking the time to comment. In situation like that, I always ask myself if I would be comfortable having my own kids around a person. In this case, the answer is yes. (Depending on the person, obviously) In my first year teaching I knew a male second grade teacher who was very flamboyant. He was also hands-down one of the best teachers in the school. I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to put any of my own children in his classroom. Actually, I probably would have requested they have him. We don’t participate in Boy Scouts, but if we did, I imagine I would consider our scout leaders in the same way.
We as Christians should love the sinner but hate the sin. As Christians we have to be careful not to mistake personal preferences for conviction. We should read the bible and not interpret it to suit our preferences but ask the Lord to mold our convictions through his word. With all do respect I feel that you have interpreted the bible to suit your preferences. Go back and read 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians.
Thank you for your response! For a while I was afraid that was what I was doing too, which is why I took a break from the book for a while and decided to prayerfully consider my choices. After about a year of prayerful reflection, I can say that I feel very comfortable calling it a conviction that I believe our friends and neighbors should have equal legal rights, regardless of whether or not we believe they are sinners. I do not intend to use scripture to support a homosexual lifestyle, I intend to use it to support the belief that we do need to separate church and state and allow civil liberties to all people. I think that denying an entire group of people legal rights because of their belief system or personal choices is a very dangerous precedent to set.
I too am an evangelical Christian who believes in allowing homosexuals to marry, but I will gently push back against your scripture that “supports” the homosexual lifestyle. I agree that sin is sin and regardless of where we “struggle” we are all acceptable to and accepted by God (and therefore should be accepted by everyone else who claims to be a Christian), however, what if we aren’t “struggling” in our sin, but rather we pull up a hot tub and sink down in and simmer away? I am all for being accepting and loving toward people regardless of who they worship (God, Allah, themselves, whatever), and as such I have no issue with a non-believing homosexual… but I think you are sliding down a slippery slope to ignore the sin issue with sexual immorality of any kind within the church {co-habituating before marriage falls into this category.) Do we shun them? Um, no. But do we put someone who is actively engaged in rebellion against God in a position of leadership?? I don’t think it’s a good idea. Nor should we shrug our shoulders and act like it’s no big deal, it just doesn’t sit well with me. I am not hateful, but think we should still call sin sin.
I don’t think I ever came out in support of one lifestyle over another, at least that was not my intention. I have in other posts addressed the sinful nature of this particular issue. (See my post entitled For Rene) It is the denial of civil rights through our government that I take issue with. I think there is plenty of biblical evidence to support the separation of church and state, which it was my intention to share in this post. I agree with you on many issues. I lived with my husband for a few months before we were married for financial reasons. Was it sinful? Yes. But no one ever tried to deny me health insurance or take away my job as an elementary school teacher because of it. That’s what we’re doing to our neighbors. Never in the history of the world has it ever been a good idea to deny civil liberties to any group of people. When I see this happening, I will always choose err on the side of love.
I agree with AJ Collins above who has put it so much better than I can. Yes, we all have equal rights – or should have. Yes, we are all people. Yes, we all have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Of course we do. But getting married in a church when you’re gay? Not so much – its against the Word of God, no matter how open or accepting we’re trying to be. Get married if you want to get married and you’re gay – I’m not against that. I’m against doing it in God’s house when you’re gay. Big difference. Thank you AJ Collins for putting this so eloquently.
Thank you for responding. My issue is not with marriage in a church. (Although some churches are now recognizing committed same-sex relationships, even among their clergy. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/aug/22/lutheran-church-to-allow-gay-clergy-couples/?page=all) It’s with marriage in a courthouse and the benefits that come with it as well as other civil rights that are being denied, which a lot of people are unaware of. There are many areas in our country where it is perfectly legal to deny homosexuals employment, they cannot adopt children (even if they are already the foster parents of that child), spouses cannot collect on life insurance or pensions in the event of a death, they are not eligible for the same tax refunds as heterosexual couples, etc. I have personally seen friends go through these trials and it is heartbreaking and unfair.
Every person in the US has the same right to get married…to someone of the opposite sex. The great thing about America is that we can choose otherwise (I.e. someone of the same sex), but there are then consequences that follow that choice. There is no right to health care, adoption, life insurance, etc. for anyone. The only reason the government is involved in marriage is because of the child aspect. If marriage were all about two people in love, the government would have nothing to do with it. Because marriage leads in most cases to children, there are legal issues to contend with, not to mention that marriage and procreation is in the best interest of society and thus encouraged by government. Biblically speaking, a marriage is between a man and a woman. The Bible is very clear on this point. In terms of gay parenting, two gay men could each be fantastic dads, but they can never be moms (and same with women). Children require one mom and one dad to teach them what it is to be a man and a woman and how each relates to the other. This is why marriage is crucial to a productive society. If we as Americans want to lobby to change requirements for the “legal” benefits currently open to only married partners, we can do that without changing the definition of marriage. It’s difficult to discern what is right in terms of this issue, particularly when you have friends and family who are gay as you and I do, but I have to look to God and what the Bible says on this one. If you want to work with “caesar” on how to deal with the legalities of benefits for gay couples, do so. But please consider that changing the definition of marriage to do that is harmful-first it goes against Christ’s teachings and second is not in the best interest of society.