I’ve been keeping a secret from you. A really fun one. No more secrets, though. Today I can finally tell you…

I partnered with the b Positive Project, Anna from My Life and Kids and 17 other bloggers to create a free eBook that I think you’re going to love.

The b Positive Project is a t-shirt and apparel company that creates comfy clothes and tries to inspire people to have a positive mindset and do good things for others.

From wrinkles, to depression – from parenting with humor to inspiring our husbands *wink* – this eBook might make you think. It might make you cry. It will definitely make you laugh out loud.

Be sure to use the coupon code in the book to receive 10% off your purchase at the b Positive Project. That same coupon code will help kids with cancer –for every purchase made using the discount code, they will be giving one b positive t-shirt to a child with cancer.

We’re also sharing 50 Ways to b Positive. Yes – punching someone in the face is included… so is praying.

You can to get your FREE copy of the eBook right now!

I’m not saying I know everything.

I’m not even saying I know anything.

But I do have three little kids and I have been in one stage of potty training or another for the past 4 years.

4 YEARS people.

4 years is a long time to spend teaching little firefighters to aim their water hoses.

I’ve learned some stuff. So far, this is what I know:

• People will tell you to do it in the summer. I call B.S. on this one. I do not enjoy having naked kids running around my house peeing on my furniture. Also, we occasionally have to go out in public, where being naked and peeing wherever you want is frowned upon. Do it in the winter when they can wear fleece sweat pants and have fleece sheets on the bed. Those are the most absorbent. Just trust me.
• Do you have a girl? Keep a funnel and an empty water bottle in your car. I bought a yellow funnel at IKEA so that I wouldn’t confuse it with any of the regular kitchen funnels. If you have a boy you can skip the funnel and just carry an empty bottle.
• You’re going to want to buy new towels. Remember the fancy extra fluffy towels you got as a wedding gift? Those are your new go-to pee pee mopper-uppers. Cheap towels aren’t cut out for the task.
• Just wait. Yeah, sure Johnny’s mommy says that he is 100% trained at 18 months, even at night, but what she isn’t telling you is that she sets an alarm and wakes him up 4 times every night to sit on the potty. Unless you want to be constantly dealing with accidents in public or waking up to change wet sheets 3 or 4 times a night, just wait a few more months. One of my kids was 4 years old before being 100% ready, including being night trained. It will happen eventually. I have not sent a kid to kindergarten in diapers yet. 
• Don’t buy a new couch until all of your kids are potty trained. I learned this the hard way. We’re all starting to see the true genius behind Grandma’s plastic wrapped furniture now, aren’t we?
• Get the cheap seat that fits on top of the regular toilet. “But the little Lightening McQueen that sings when it senses it is being filled is adorable and I can keep it in any room in the house,” you say. It won’t be at all cute after the first time you have to clean poop out of it with your bare hands or when your little angel wants to “help” clean out the potty by dumping its contents on your carpet. Or if someone didn’t tell you they went and left the contents in the potty to later be discovered and used by a younger sibling as finger paint and/or food. Just sayin.’ Yes, it happens. 

Ok veteran mommies, what else have you learned?

Late in my pregnancies I tend to start having contractions too early. With both of my girls my contractions started around 7 months, so the doctors wanted me to rest as much as possible. I kept going in and out of the hospital with labor symptoms and they would give me medicine to stop contractions and send me home.  They tried prescribing modified bed rest.

Obviously, that was SUPER easy when I was pregnant with my third child and also had a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old at home.

This is a picture of what bed “rest” looks like for an 8-months pregnant mom of two pre-schoolers:

My favorite part is the last minute or so when Abby starts singing, “My hiney is wet. My hiney is wet because I peed.”

Also, do you like the grandma-chic curtains in our bedroom? Note to self: DO NOT make any home decor choices while pregnant.

Today’s post is from the beautiful and talented Paige Kellerman of paigekellerman.com. I love Paige’s blog for her honesty and humor and I love that she broke up with Oreos. Personally, I’m still trying to find the strength to do the same. But today’s post is about a different topic, and it’s one to which I can relate. Here’s Paige. (Isn’t she pretty?)

You Can’t Wear Snow Boots Forever

Buying shoes for my children is only one of the many reasons you should feel sorry for me. I know we’ve just met and all, but I find a good and awkward friendship, thrust upon strangers, is built through lots of information you didn’t know you wanted to know.

Isn’t that right, Stephanie? She’s so cute. Look at the way she’s blocking my email address as we speak. Such a jokester, that one. You know, I know, that you know I’ll just forward you all those chain letters, from an unknown email address. Adorable.

Now then, where were we? Ahh, yes. When one of my children comes to me and points out they believe they’ve out-grown their shoes, I tend to do two things:

a.)    Make it personal by prostrating myself on the ground and screaming, “Why do you always do this to me?”

b.)    Ask a couple questions to clarify, such as, “Maybe they do fit, have you tried cutting out the heel? Or, “Do you think, perhaps, if you’d been better behaved, you wouldn’t have out-grown them?”

Eventually, the kids always end up showing me an episode of Dora the Explorer before I’ll believe other children have shoes that fit, and also that you only need to be the ripe old age of six to travel to walk to Ecuador, unattended. I was seven when I first did that, so the logic escapes me.

It’s not that my children outgrowing their shoes angers me, it’s just that I always through bricks through other people’s windshields when I get news of any kind. Kid’s shoes can get a little pricey. And finding ones that last is difficult. When my son out-grew his shoes this month, I tried to reason it out.

He still had snow boots that fit. He loves his snow boots. The public had a greater than forty, but less than fifty-percent chance of noticing he’d been wearing snow boots for eighteen years. This would work. If his feet got hot, he didn’t have to wear socks. At the pool, we’d just tell people he had something called a “Snowman Complex”.

As, in, “You wouldn’t be laughing if your kid thought his nose was a carrot.”

Yes, that was the ticket. He’d wear the boots. We’d “discover” a new phobia. And I wouldn’t have to buy new shoes.

As it always does, however, reason won out, I re-attached my coffee IV, and ended up commandeering a new pair of tennis shoes …durable, classically styled, probably last for a solid three months.

But, when and if my son out-grows these, I know we’ll have the snow boots, because I know, for a fact, kids never out-grow those. Right? Just cover your windshield.

Touche, Paige. I HATE when my middle daughter outgrows her shoes because it is so hard to find new ones. She might have the widest feet of any preschooler who ever lived. Thanks for stopping by!

I was able to team up with an amazing group of bloggers to bring you a Keurig giveaway every week in November. This week is your last chance to link up. Good luck! 🙂

Have A Keurig Holiday Event

Hosted by Mom Powered Media

Special thank you to our lovely co-hosts: Spend With Pennies and My Vegan Gluten-Free Life

The Keurig Platinum Brewing System brews a perfect cup of coffee, tea, hot cocoa or iced beverage at the touch of a button. With an award-winning design, this brewer features a blue, backlit LCD display that allows you to program water temperature, set the digital clock, Auto On/Off and your favorite cup size. With the choice of five cup sizes, the Platinum brewer offers a removable drip tray to accommodate travel mugs.

Includes

• Keurig Platinum B70 brewer
• My K-Cup filter
• Removable drip tray
• Water filter kit
• Five brew sizes: 4 oz, 6 oz, 8 oz, 10 oz, 12 oz
• 72-oz water reservoir
• Measures 13-1/2″L x 9-3/4″W x 12-1/2″H
• 48 K-Cups to get you started

One lucky reader will receive a Keurig Platinum B70 Brewer with 48 K-Cups!

Giveaway ends November 30th at 11:59pm, open to US and Canadian residents, ages 18+. To enter please use the Rafflecopter form below. Good luck!

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