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Where My Dream Is Hiding

August 2, 2011 By: Stephanie2 Comments

I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Ask anyone who knew me in high school or college. The plan was to get my degrees, get married, teach for a few years, then start popping out babies and stay home with them. And it happened just like that.

Except in my head, there were a lot less dirty dishes and mundane tasks to get done and a lot more afternoon teas with other stay at home moms while our kids played contentedly amongst themselves, wearing adorable outfits from the baby Gap.

In real life, I need at least 3 days notice before I invite someone into my house because it is almost always a MESS.

In real life, I leave dirty dishes in the sink for a day or two (or three or until I can’t take the smell anymore…)

In real life, I take full advantage of the free clothing exchange at our church.

It’s easy to get caught up in thinking the mundane stuff is boring, and often disgusting, in the moment.

My life is not glamorous in the least. It involves a lot of bodily fluid. Most of it’s not mine.

This morning I woke up to two poopy diapers, one of which leaked through pajamas onto the crib sheets.

I started the day with poop, laundry, and dishes.

I scrubbed the sink with baking soda and lemon juice. (‘cuz, the smell, remember?)

I actually washed the washing machine. (‘cuz, um, there was just lots of poop leakage in there)

I had to pee in a cup and put it in our refrigerator (OB appointment later)

But…

I also got to feed my kids homemade banana bread for breakfast because I had time to bake yesterday.

There is a bowl full of homegrown tomatoes sitting on my dining room table because I have time to garden.

While the poopy sheets were in the wash, I had time to play a Clifford the Big Red Dog phonics computer game with my kids, schedule a play date for tomorrow, and invite friends for dinner on Friday.

I ordered the groceries online and I can pick them up in a few hours.

I can wear sweatpants all day if I want to.

I can do whatever I want to, actually, because I’m the one making the choices with these kids all day. Everyday. While Eddie is working to support us.

Sometimes that can start to feel backwards when we are at home all day like we are the ones doing grunt work for no glory, nothing but a support to hold up everyone else while they flourish in their careers, school, activities, etc. That is not what is happening. It’s not glamorous. Sometimes it’s not even fun, but it is the single most important job on Earth, motherhood, and it was always my dream.

Sometimes the dream looks like this.

That part usually involves a hair appointment, a studio, special lighting, a professional photographer, and a dozen squeaking toys providing distraction in the background.

90% of the time it looks like this:

That part involves toys on the living room floor, watching too much tv, milk being drooled out of sippy cups, and the option not to wear pants.

It took a while, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m ok with that.

More than ok.

In love with this face:

and this one

and this one

and this one

And they love me back. For who I am. Because I also have an identity beyond making babies and scrubbing poop out of bed sheets.

Which is what never knew I always wanted.

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Arrrrrrrrrrgggggg!

July 28, 2011 By: Stephanie2 Comments

“Don’t you think maybe you should punish him for that?”

“No.”

“Ok, but he just threw a bowl of hot soup across the room during a screaming temper tantrum for no reason.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Actually, there was a reason. A dumb reason. Dinner being ready meant we had to pause the Veggie Tales movie.

My brother is staying with us this week. He’s 15 and a really good kid, but he doesn’t get Nicholas’ condition. I don’t blame him, it’s hard to understand why a kid wouldn’t be punished for throwing soup across the room, or kicking his pregnant mother in the stomach on purpose, or sneaking out of his room while everyone’s asleep and climbing up on the kitchen countertops and throwing all the “out of reach” stuff all over the kitchen floor.

I tried explaining it, the 11 (eleven!) specialists, the fact that he is just different and the way we need to parent him is backward of common sense. The comments come. From my brother, from other well-meaning relatives, from strangers…

“You need to do _____, then he’ll learn.”

You need to SHUT UP.

I did everything. I do everything.

 

Keep your parenting advice to yourself

Yes, I know he’s 4 and not potty trained. I’m the one home all day changing the huge diapers, thanks.

Yes, I know he should get more sleep. We’re the ones up 4 times every night with him and his ridiculous demands, thanks.

Yes, I tried the gluten-free diet and supplements and no red dye and blah, blah, blah, thanks.

Yes, I know how a child “should” be disciplined. I have a Master’s Degree in education, a specialist certificate, certification in two states, and I am employed as a professional parenting specialist. Want to see my badge?

Mostly, I write this just to vent, but also to beg you to please, please, please keep your parenting advice to yourself unless you fully understand and appreciate a situation.

Do not make any snide remarks (or even “helpful” ones for that matter) to the mom with the bratty kids in line at Target.

Because it might be me, and if it is you will go home headless and I will need to buy more dental floss to get your b**** a*** neck skin out of my teeth.

And the Target brand dental floss is crap, so it’s really best all around if you just keep it to yourself.

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Best Deals of the Week

July 21, 2011 By: Stephaniecomment

July is a great time to stock up for the holidays because everybody is having clearance and Christmas in July sales. So far these are some of the best deals I’ve found this week:

Lands End is having a warehouse clearance event on their website, so prices are up to 70% off on everything from sheet sets to winter coats. I saw some hats and gloves around the $5 mark.

The Disney Store is having an online Family and Friends sale starting today and going through this weekend. You get an extra 20% off your entire purchase if you enter the code DISNEYFAN. (the website says disneyfan is the code, but the email they sent me says disneyguest) They have a lot of toys, plus some backpacks and lunchboxes in the clearance section, so it’s a good place for holiday or back to school shopping. I’m not sure if you can still get an additional 10% off if you pay with a Disney Visa.

Today and tomorrow, Old Navy is offering 30% off men’s and women’s styles (including maternity, score!!!) with the code ONBIG30. I finally bit the bullet and ordered some maternity jeans.

Finally, I know I will be stocking up on paint for my basement project this weekend because Sherwin Williams is offering 40% off paints and stains.

Happy Shopping!

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That’s What I Get for Bragging About The Garden

July 19, 2011 By: Stephaniecomment

After my post yesterday about how our veggie garden is actually pretty successful this year I had a big, fat massive FAIL. A series of them actually…

I thought I would be all Martha-y and make some homemade tomato soup with all the tomatoes we were able to harvest. (There were 10 ripe ones for us to pick yesterday. Yay!) I’d never made tomato soup, so I looked up a few recipes and altered them to work with what I had. I’ll give you the recipe in a minute, but first I have to warn you that it might be cursed.

After I simmered the soup for about an hour, I transferred it to the blender. That was a big disaster. I was holding down the lid, but still managed to have burning hot soup shoot out like a volcano everywhere. Cabinets, counter, sink, stove, dog, me…you name it, it was covered in soup.

I cleaned that up and transferred what was left of the soup into the refrigerator, where I proceeded to knock it over. It had been on the top shelf, so it spilled all over eveything yet again.

Then as I was doing all the dishes I created in the soup fiasco, I dropped a ceramic plate. Of course it smashed into 1,000 pieces. Of course I was barefoot and stepped in one of them and cut myself.

Basically, yesterday I picked 10 tomatoes, 2 green peppers, some basil, defrosted homemade chicken stock, cooked for a few hours, and all I got was one measly bowl of soup and a HUGE mess. The soup was pretty good, but a little too spicy for my taste. Next time I’d leave out the red pepper flakes.

If you would like to try your luck (I hope yours is better than mine), here is the recipe:

Spicy Tomato Soup:
3 cups of chicken stock
10 tomatoes, seeded and smashed (strain juice, discard seeds, keep juice)
1 tbs fresh basil, chopped
1 diced green pepper
2 tbs brown sugar
salt and pepper to taste
optional: red pepper flakes
optional: diced onion & celery (I didn’t used these, but would if I had them on hand)

Combine ingredients on stove top and simmer for 45 min-1 hour
CAREFULLY transfer ingredients to blender and blend until smooth
Cool and store in refrigerator or freeze

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1st Year of Garden Success

July 18, 2011 By: Stephaniecomment

Yay!!!!! My very own backyard homestead! (or 3 fruits/vegetables)

As I’ve told you before, gardening is NOT one of my gifts, like at all.

I’ve been trying on and off for about 7 years to have a semi-successful garden. Not counting this year, last year was my most successful attempt when I yielded 5 raspberries. It was pretty pathetic.

But this year, after several weeks of nagging on my end, my wonderful hubby built me some cedar-raised garden beds, which really did make all the difference in the world.

I’m very happy to report that we have officially achieved veggie garden success! We have several 100% organic tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers, plus a few herbs.

There’s nothing better than walking barefoot into the yard with your kids and letting them pick a snack from the garden.

I’ll leave you with some tomato trivia:
Did you know that tomatoes are actually a fruit, but the Supreme Court ruled them a vegetable in the 1800’s so that they could be taxed, and because of that ruling many public schools now count ketchup as a vegetable on school lunches? True story.

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U-G-L-Y, You Ain’t Got No Aliby

July 15, 2011 By: Stephaniecomment

You Ugly, yeah, yeah, You UGLY! (cheer courtesy of My Brother And Me, via Nickelodeon circa 1994)

I’m talking about you, “family room.”

Meet my latest project, the family room.

It would be the family room anyway, if the space was remotely usable or pleasant to be in.

Right now it is just a junk room, and a REALLY ugly one at that. Brace yourselves. I’m about to air our very messy little secret.

It’s bad, you guys. Really, really, really, bad. Like humiliating. Like an episode of Diet Hoarders; People Who Aren’t Actually Hoarders, Just Have One Awful Space With Too Much Junk. (In my defense, albeit a weak one, the piles on the sofa aren’t normally there and no longer exist, I took this picture right after we moved all of my crafting and sewing supplies down here.)

It’s sad, really, because this room has so much potential. The fireplace, the extra square footage we could be using, the potential for a craft area not located in the middle of the dining room…not to mention that my poor husband actually works here on the days he is working from home.

Dark scary hallway to oblivion…

Super messy entryway off the garage, currently filled with construction stuff from our bathroom remodel (I was standing in the doorway of the bathroom to take this photo) plus a gigantic chalkboard that they were giving away for free at the church yard sale.

We have a split foyer house, so we pretty much spend all of our time upstairs where the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms are located, and completely ignore the fact that we have an entire additional floor.

Until now we’ve just been telling ourselves that we’ll get to it eventually when we can afford a complete overhaul, as in new drywall, new electrical, and everything. I can’t live with that plan any more if this needs to be my creative space because I cannot possibly create anything worthwhile in a space with this kind of negative energy. Plus, it will probably be 5 years or more before we get around to that remodel and who knows if we will even still want to live here at that point. We’d have to at least give this area a facelift to be able to sell the house for a decent price in the future. Might as well do it now so we can reap the benefits as well, right? That’s what the nesting side of me is saying.

It’s ok, though, I have a plan.

There really is a lot of potential here. It’s a little easier to tell in the photo that was in the mls listing when we bought this place, see?

Right now the plan involves a lot of purging, painting the paneling, ripping out the carpet, and installing super cheap laminate from Ollie’s or Ikea. I was at Ollie’s yesterday and they had brand name (Pergo & Mohawk) flooring for as low as 68 cents/square foot.

Eddie is not thrilled with the plan & I don’t really blame him because he already has TONS of projects to do around here, but I told him I am doing this 100% by myself. I’m pretty sure he won’t trust me to install the floor alone (although I am totally confident I could, especially if I buy extra flooring to make up for the learning curve 😉 but I can definitely paint and take up the carpet during nap times.

As a matter of fact, I started yesterday. Just me, a good quality low voc primer (If I wasn’t pregnant with two little ones in the house I would be using some hard core products to tackle this task, but the Olympic interior latex primer is working really well so far.) and an hour of sleeping children got one wall primed. One wall at a time and it will be done eventually, right?

It’s going to be a long, slow process. I hope you’ll stick with me on the journey because it’s a pretty huge undertaking and I’m going to need your moral support! I will keep you updated along the way.

In other news, I’m happy to report that the downstairs bathroom (just to the right of the wall in this photo) now has a new working toilet and will hopefully have a sink by the end of this weekend! That means the big reveal will be coming soon!! 🙂

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Best Deals This Week

July 8, 2011 By: Stephaniecomment

Everybody loves saving money, right?

Here are the best deals that I found this week.

You can get free dinner tonight at Chick Fil A because it is Cow Appreciation Day. Just download the printable mask from their website.

Tomorrow (7/9) from 8am-noon Old Navy will be having a grab bag sale in the store. You pay $20 and get a mystery bag filled with $100-$125 worth of clothes in your size. The consensus on their Facebook page seems to be that you can use a Groupon, so if you got the Groupon that was out a few weeks ago, you will only pay $10. It’s kind of risky because you can’t see the clothes until after you buy them, but I think I’m going to try it.

Canvas People are having their free 8×10 photo canvas sale again! You just pay the $14.95 for shipping. That’s expensive shipping, but an amazing deal on a photo canvas. You can also get discounted upgrades on larger sizes at checkout.

Also, we were pleasantly surprised to learn last week that our Regal Cinema has $5 movie tickets all day on Tuesdays. Eddie took Nicholas to see Cars 2 and was happy to learn that it only cost $10 for the two of them to see it. Apparently only participating Regal Cinemas are doing this, but call and ask yours if they are! Seeing new releases in the theater can get expensive!

Finally, Dress Barn is having 50% off a lot of their online merchandise, plus you get an extra $10 off if you buy two dresses.

I’m still on the lookout for a winter coat that will cover my 9 month pregnant belly come December, so let me know if you find any good deals on one! Link

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Making Lip Gloss

July 8, 2011 By: Stephanie4 Comments

DIY Lip Balm. Learn how to make your own dye-free lip gloss from some simple ingredients that you probably already have around the house.

Abby has been very into the idea of trying on my makeup lately and asking for some of her own. I saw a post about making lip gloss for little girls out of Kool Aid here and I thought it was an awesome idea! 

Except I didn’t have any Kool Aid or little pots like the ones used at Mumma Made It. and I have been having a lot of morning sickness with this pregnancy, so I really didn’t feel up for going to the store. Plus I wanted Abby’s pretend make-up to look more like Mommy’s, except I wanted it to have no color so that it wouldn’t look like I was trying to get my daughter in an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras.

I might not have had the “right” stuff, but I did have a breath mint, some Vaseline, and an old lip stick that I never wore…

First I cleaned out the lipstick tube. I found that the best way to do this is by using a q-tip to work a baby wipe around in there. It doesn’t have to be completely clean because when you are finished, any extra old lipstick hiding in there will come up on the outside edge of the new one and you can wipe it away really easily.

Next, I crushed the breath mint in a plastic bag.

Then I microwaved about a teaspoon of Vaseline, stirring every 30 seconds or so until it melted.

I added the crushed mint and stirred it around for a little while.


(Try to ignore the clutter on my counters, k? Thanks.)

Then I needed a way to pour the liquid into the tube without making a huge mess, so I made a tiny funnel out of a post-it note and poured it into the tube. Make sure the lipstick tube is rolled all the way down before you add the liquid. I had a lot left over, I think this recipe might be enough to do 2 tubes.

It sounds even more complicated than it is. It really only took about 3 or 4 minutes, start to finish.

I put it in the refrigerator for a few minutes and it set up really fast! I was worried about how the lipstick tube would work because every other lip gloss tutorial I found said to use little pots. It works fine. I had to roll it to the top , then roll it down again and wipe away a tiny bit of excess, but it works like a charm. In the picture it is still a little wobbly because it hadn’t completely set in the frig yet.

If I was going to do this again, I would use mint extract instead of a crushed breath mint. But, hey, we work with what we’ve got. 😉 

If you use Kool Aid or hot chocolate mix, or any other kind of drink mix instead of the crushed mint, it will tint the gloss. I think it would be fun to make lots of different flavors at a sleep over party or to give as a gift for a tween girl. I also wish I would have known how to do this when I was teaching science, because I think it would have been a fun demonstration about states of matter that we could have used as a Mother’s day gift.

Let me know if you make one. 🙂

Linking to:

Sawdust and Paper Scraps

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Faux Barnwood Tutorial

July 7, 2011 By: Stephanie7 Comments

faux barn wood

 Today I’m sharing my latest build with you.

It’s free and it’s pretty and I made it myself, 3 of my favorite things. 🙂

If you don’t happen to have a gigantic pile of scrap wood in your garage (actually, this is one of three piles) you might need to spend $20 or so.

I’m super excited about this project for several reasons:
1. It was free
2. I made it from scratch, as in this time I cut the wood this time and everything. All. by. myself.
3. I figured out how to get it to look like aged barn wood, which I happen to think is beautiful and also sort of hides my mistakes (of which there are plenty, mostly because I cut everything with the jigsaw, a.k.a the only saw I’m not scared of.)

I used this plan from Ana White, but I added an extra divider and turned it upside down.

Now on to how to get cheap pine to look like aged barn wood…

Step 1: Torch it. I used a charcoal grill lighter because I needed to be able to get into some tight spots. I guess you could just add streaks of black paint, but where’s the fun in that?

Step 2: Paint it. I made a wash of 3 parts gray acrylic paint, 1 part baby blue, and 4 parts water. Then I brushed it over the entire piece.

Step 3: Unpaint it. I used wet paper towels and rubbed off as much of the blue/gray as I could just as the paint was almost dry.

Step 4: Paint it again. I made another wash out of 1 part soft black (almost purple) and 1 part water. I rubbed that into the piece with more paper towels.

Just keep adding and taking off paint until you get the look you want. Here’s a close-up.

I wasn’t sure Hubby was going to be a big fan. He sort of hates when I take new stuff and try to make it look old and beat up. I happen to love it. But, actually, he came home and said, “Wow. That’s a really cool finish.” Winning.

Linking to:

Stories A to Z

Weekend Bloggy Reading

Furniture Feature Fridays

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We Built a Little Desk

June 28, 2011 By: Stephanie1 Comment

And by that I mean I built a little desk while the kids were in the next room watching Up. (I even managed to not drill into the table this time.)

Eddie said he wanted a laptop desk to take into the office and I found these plans on Ana-white.com. It looked super easy to build, plus it’s on hidden wheels. What’s not to love?

It cost less than $30 for the lumber, casters, and some wood filler. Not bad when you consider that CB2’s version is $180. I had the guys at Lowes cut the wood for me, but I wound up having to re-cut some of the trim pieces, so I figured out how to use our jigsaw, which was surprisingly easy. I think I have a new favorite toy. It took me about an hour and a half, counting numerous mommy stops, a phone call, and the mystery about why the trim wouldn’t fit. (I bought the wrong size board. duh. oops.)

Seriously, if you own a few tools (I built my first 3 projects using only a drill) you can build anything in the beginners section of Ana’s website. It honestly is easier than using a glue gun. I do really dumb things like buy the wrong wood and drill into my dining room table, and I’ve still managed to build this desk, a kid-sized table and chairs, and an airplane shelf from her site. You should really give it a try!

I can’t finish it myself because I think Eddie and I would both prefer it stained and I’m not comfortable working with those kind of fumes while I’m pregnant.

Link
So I guess it’s done for now.

I think our next Ana White project will be the open toy box.

What have you been up to today?

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Welcome! I’m Steph.

This is a little corner of the internet we like to fill with honesty, heart, and humor. Read More…

Cover for Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

Stephanie Giese is an indie author based in Florida. She writes stories about realistic problems with humor, heart, and sass. Her work has a strong focus on mental health and consent. Her North Bay small-town romance series is set for release in 2025.

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

3 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know it’s a small thing, but I believe small things can add up to big changes. my entire North Bay series, including Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base, is free on Kindle from Jan. 30-Feb. 3. Please take the funds you might have spent on my books this week and reallocate them toward the areas in our country that need them the most. Follow creators like Dad Chats who can direct you toward practical needs local to them. I hope my quirky romcoms can bring you some comfort and joy during difficult times, and I hope together we can take small, practical steps toward big changes. ... See MoreSee Less

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Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese

3 months ago

Binkies and Briefcases with Stephanie Giese
I know there is an overall feeling of helplessness in our country right now. So many of us are at a loss for what to do beyond making phone calls and social media posts (which are still important, but can feel like not enough). I believe strongly in the power of small things adding up to big ones. As one person, I might not be able to do much, but what I CAN do is use my voice and my books to work toward the change I’d like to see. That’s why, for the next five days, from Jan. 30-Feb 3, I’m making the Kindle versions of my entire North Bay series (Out of Left Field, Right as Rain, and Way Off Base) completely free. Art has power, and I do hope these comedies can bring you some comfort and joy in difficult times, but most importantly, I also hope you’ll consider redirecting the funds you might’ve spent on my books and donating instead to one of the many charities working tirelessly in our cities right now. If you are located in an area like Minnesota or Portland, please use the space below to make people aware of the organizations in your area that need help. ... See MoreSee Less
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ALL I Never Knowed: The Book Is Here!

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my Email Newsletter. Thanks for visiting!Welcome back! Be sure to check out my Email Newsletter. Thanks for visiting!It’s finally here, in my hands. It has been a loooong time in the making, but our book, All I Never Knowed: Mental Illness, a Mother’s Love, and […]

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Save Money with Fetch

Hey everyone! This is Chelsea, Steph’s asistant, back with the simplest app for getting cash back on things you’re already buying! We’ve covered Ibotta, Shopkick, Coupons.com, Swagbucks and we’re all saving hundreds of dollars by now, right? RIGHT!? I’m really hoping you guys have jumped on the rebate app savings train because it’s just so […]

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Splendid Spoon Review

I was excited to receive a box of products to try from Splendid Spoon this summer! They invited me to try their line of plant-based, ready-to-eat foods and delivered them right to my door. Check one in the pro column for convenience. I did receive these products free of charge in order to rate them […]

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