It’s wedding season again.

Just last weekend, five of my Facebook friends got married. Several more have anniversaries this week. 

A few others just got engaged.

My Pinterest feed is overrun by friends pinning ideas for the perfect wedding.

This time in 2006, My bridesmaids teased me that I was the opposite of a bridezilla and apparently they appreciate it. They chose their own dress and I didn’t care how they did their hair or their nails or what shoes they wore.

 

I didn’t care what the table linens looked like.

I didn’t even chose my own flowers. I trusted my Aunt Cathi with that job and I didn’t have any idea what they were going to look like until they day we got married and she showed up with the bouquets.

We didn’t have any centerpieces on the tables, just a few framed pictures of us with all of our guests on each table. We tried to have at least one picture out of each person who was there.

I really didn’t care about planning the perfect wedding and it’s a good thing, because we certainly didn’t get what you would probably picture to be the perfect wedding.

We got married in the middle of a hurricane. Literally. (Well, ok, not like outside in the eye of a storm, but close enough.)

Ahhh, Ernesto. You son of a …

At the time (Summer of 2006) we were living in Florida, but having a Baltimore wedding because most of our friends and family were in the greater Baltimore/DC area. 

Hurricane Ernesto made us change our plans and leave Florida early, which wasn’t that big of a deal. Just a change of flight and a few extra days off work.

Then, he started to make his way up the east coast. Eventually, he was downgraded to a tropical storm, but it was bad, y’all.

First, he took out our rehearsal dinner.

My mother-in-law had planned a lovely dinner at a local seafood restaurant after the rehearsal. Ernesto took out the power and our group waited for about an hour in the dark until the restaurant decided there was just no way they could cook anything. My in-laws graciously invited anyone who was willing to brave the storm back to their house for pizza. Half of the guests decided to head home instead. It was almost 9pm and in the middle of a tropical storm, after all.

Businesses were closing everywhere. It was late and no one wanted to be delivering pizza in this mess. Our bridesmaids, bless their hearts, took it upon themselves to dive to a pizza shop and pick up food before they closed.

The groomsmen got a flat tire. It pretty much seemed like this wedding was doomed.

But they showed up later in soaking wet shirts and ties and filthy from changing it in the pouring rain. Our friends were there. With pizzas. And our family was there to help eat them. And then we played pool in an unfinished basement.

It was cheap and the food was good and there was no stuffy, uncomfortable meal with people who hardly know each other trying to make polite conversation about how they know the bride and groom. It was pretty much the best rehearsal dinner ever.

The next day it was still raining on and off. Not that big of a deal, except our wedding reception was going to be at Ruth’s Chris on one of the Piers of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. There was a legitimate concern that Ernesto was going to flood the harbor. We spent a better part of the day making calls to be sure they would still be open because there really was no plan B.

Also, my Aunt Charlotte, who was supposed to do one of our readings, and my uncle and one of our friends were stuck in Virginia. Ernesto had taken down huge trees and the roads were closed. My friend Tabatha (Yes, our favorite chicken farmer.) had agreed to do the reading if it was necessary, not thinking it actually would be, but now she was nervous about it and apparently off somewhere taking shots.

In the meantime, I was taking shots of Pepto Bismol with my bridesmaids because all this mess was stressing me out. I just kept telling myself that no matter what happened, at the end of the day I was going to be married. That is why we were doing this, remember.

Oh, and the limo that was going to be our ride to the church? Not coming. The limo company double booked themselves and were “on the way” for over an hour after they were supposed to be there.

I was not about to be late for my own wedding waiting for some stupid limo. We hiked up my skirt (it took a few people) and crammed me into my grandfather’s old Oldsmobile. My bridesmaids got themselves other rides and we rode off to that church in style.

 

(Eventually the limo did show up in time to take Eddie & I to the reception, but they sent the wrong car.)

 

The ceremony was lovely and at the end of it we were MARRIED. Big sigh of relief. Ok, I don’t care what else happens now. Mission accomplished. 

When we got to the reception they had run out of h’orderves and they were charging people for drinks from the bar, which was supposed to be open. Before we could go in the room we had to talk with the staff and sort that stuff out.

I also noticed that they had forgotten to put out our cake and I was very nervous that they had already cut it in the back room. That was the one thing that did upset me. I didn’t want to pay $1,200 for a cake nobody even saw. (It was expensive because it was from Duff Goldman’s bakery, Charm City Cakes, but this was back before he was on Food Network.)  Luckily, they hadn’t cut it yet and they did set it out.

Yay.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch.

Everybody said the food was great. I wouldn’t know, we really didn’t get a chance to eat. It was very fancy, a sit down meal with a personalized menu. I didn’t know they were going to do that, so it was a nice surprise. Everyone thought it was very la de da to have a wedding reception at Ruth’s Chris, but I’ll tell you a secret. The truth is it was much cheaper than having it at a country club or hotel because we only had to pay for the food and drinks. Shhhh. They already had all of the decor, table linens, etc. We only had to pay between $35-$55/per person depending on what people ordered (there were only 5 people who didn’t order steak) plus the cost of the alcohol. Of course, that was 6 years ago, I have no idea what they charge now. But I had friends getting married the same year who were charged about $90 per person at other venues, so it was a pretty sweet deal.  

 

Our Father/Daughter dance to Johnny B. Goode set a fun tone for the night and to this day people still tell me that it was the most fun they’ve ever had at a wedding.

 

I know that is true for me.

Because I hate wedding shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress and because I am now getting asked to share marriage advice for upcoming weddings and showers, my best advice is this: It’s not about the wedding. It’s about the marriage. No matter what your special day looks like or whether or not it turns out like you planned, you will still be married at the end of it and that is the part that deserves your focus and attention. 

Cheri had a fun post on her blog the other day about a typical day in her life at home with her kids. I thought it was a really cute idea, so I decided to do it too. I know I always like getting a peek into other people’s lives, it’s like they are letting you read their diary or something. 🙂

This was our day on Thursday, May 31.

3:46 am- Penny wakes up and needs to be nursed. I prop up some pillows in our bed and feed her for a little while.

4:20am Eddie takes Penny from me, walks around with her for a while, and puts her back to sleep.

6:00 am Nick and Abby wake up (They almost always wake up at the same time) and come to snuggle in our bed for a few minutes. I haven’t been able to get much sleep since Penny woke up a few hours ago and I’m more grouchy than I should be.

6:30 am This is actually very late for Eddie to be home, he used to try to be at the office by now, but lately he has been staying home for a little while longer in the mornings to have breakfast with the kids.  Everyone eats a different but easy breakfast together at the table. Today Eddie has cereal, Nick has a Poptart, Abby has oatmeal, I don’t eat yet, but I sit with them until Penny wakes up.

6:45 Penny wakes up and I nurse her again while Eddie gets ready to leave. Nick and Abby wave and make heart shapes with their hands (our family tradition) through the window as he drives away.

7:30 I put Penny in the exersauser and have my breakfast, a bagel thin, at the computer while Nick and Abby play with a soft frisbee in the hallway off the kitchen while I check my email/ Facebook/ blog.

8:00 Nick and Abby play in Nick’s room or the living room and make a gigantic mess. I get my thoughts together for the work meeting I have later, feed Penny some more, get the kids a snack (mini rice cakes), change diapers and do potty time, pack a bag for the gym later, and feed Penny some more. She is a fairly good sleeper, it’s pretty unusual for her to wake up like she did last night, but that means in the morning she is hungry.

See? I told you they made a big mess.

                            
10:00 I start making lunch because we are going to need to eat by 10:30 in order to make Nick’s occupational therapy appointment.

10:30 Nick and Abby have turkey, raisins and apples for lunch and frozen banana slices coated with Nutella for dessert. Penny has applesauce. I have leftovers from last night’s dinner: pasta w/chicken and fresh spinach and tomatoes and apple slices. I also stole a couple of banana pieces. shhh.

11:00 We get dressed/diapers/potty. I like to wait until we have to leave to get the kids dressed, so I know their clothes will still be clean when we go out. 

11:30 We leave for Nick’s OT appointment.

12:00-12:30 Nick is in OT to work on pre-kindergarten fine motor skills every Thursday. Abby and I do puzzles in the waiting room.

 

1:00 We go back home. We check our strawberry plant. They found one berry today.

 

The kids have a snack (blueberries) and we do potty time and they go down for a nap. Abby sleeps but Nick just rests and plays in his room.

 

I try putting Penny in her high chair with a board book so I can unload the dishwasher. This turns out to be a very bad idea because she manages to bite off a piece of the book and starts to choke. Luckily, she coughs the piece back up, so I don’t have to do the Heimlich maneuver. (I have had to do that before on an infant, make sure you are trained in infant/child CPR, it’s different than what you would do for adults!)

 

Instead of doing the dishes, I comfort Penny and then she and I sit on the couch and I nurse her and watch The Chew.

2:45 Nick is getting antsy and wants another snack. (This kid is forever eating.) I eat blueberries Greek yogurt, and graham crackers with him.  Then he is allowed to watch 30 minutes of tv.

3:15 I wake up Abby and change her and Penny and pack up our stuff so we can go to my meeting.

4:00-6:00 I am fortunate enough to have a great part time job teaching parenting classes and family workshops for a local non-profit. We have just finished a 7 week session of our Strengthening Families Program and we are having our debriefing meeting. My colleagues have graciously agreed to have the meeting in our empty childcare room so that I can bring my kids. Nick and Abby play nicely with each other (to my great surprise and relief) while my coworkers and I take turns holding Penny.  

6:00 One of the local branches of our Y is just 2 doors down from my office. We head over there so I can squeeze in a brief workout. By the time I get the kids checked in to childcare and I change my clothes, I only have time to do a mile on the stair stepper today. I usually try to do at least 3 miles on one of the machines, but I figure one mile is better than zero and call it good enough.

6:30 Eddie has already been off work for a while and has been mowing the grass at the land where we will be building our house. We stop at McDonald’s (I know, okay. Just being honest over here.) which is the building in between my office and the YMCA, and pick up dinner so we can take a picnic dinner over to Eddie.

 

6:45 We have a picnic under our walnut trees. I tried to be sort of good and I got a grilled chicken sandwich and a berry smoothie. (Whatever. It’s better than a BigMac and fries. Probably. Maybe.)

 

 

7:45 We have stayed a while so the kids could play and Eddie cut some more grass. I nursed Penny again and now Nick is going into melt down mode because he’s exhausted. I drive the kids home and Eddie packs up the tractor and heads home behind us.

 

8:15 We put on pj’s and read a story and say prayers. We put the kids to bed without a bath. (We are mostly every-other-day bath givers around here.) Bedtime is a fairly long process at our house, but it is a pretty organized ritual.

 

9:00 I nurse Penny until she falls asleep for the night and Eddie sits with me on the couch. We watch That 70’s Show on Nick at Night and eat Weight Watchers popsicles. 

10:00 We usually stay up much later than this, but today we are both exhausted so we get ready and go to bed.

I got absolutely zero housework done today, as per usual. I need to work on that. 

Nothing terribly exciting, but I do love having picnics over on our land. We’ve been doing that fairly regularly lately now that it’s grass cutting season. I wish I could say that was an especially busy day but that’s pretty much par for the course around here. At least now that school and Mom n Me are over for the summer our mornings are free.  
 

Friday night after the kids were asleep Eddie & I watched a Quentin Tarantino movie about fighting Nazis. After the first few scenes I told Eddie I am so grateful that we live in a country where we don’t have to worry about things like that. There is no place on Earth I’d rather raise my children than here in America, so we want to keep that in mind and appreciate the sacrifices that were made to give us these opportunities this Memorial Day weekend.

My children live in a place where they have the freedom to have a magical childhood, and we intend to take full advantage of the opportunity.

By giving babies airplane rides through sunny skies

 and running through sprinklers and jumping on trampolines

and picking fresh strawberries from the farm up the road

and spending time with family

and eating ice cream and steamed crabs

and buying foosball tables

and going to church this morning, not just because we should, but because we can, and we do so freely with out having to hide under floor boards for fear of violent government officials.

There are people who died and are still dying (33 NATO soldiers this month in Afghanistan) so our families and others around the world can do these things. This weekend is for them. 

My kids and I have been singing the Village People song all week because this week we actually did join our local YMCA.

I’ve been wanting to join a gym with child care ever since I had a hard time losing my baby weight from Abby. So, for about 3 years.

I looked into the larger gyms in our area, but the average price was about $60/month per  person and the childcare costs were extra and there was an additional fee if you wanted access to classes, blah blah blah. Eddie wanted a membership too if we were going to be joining a gym, which meant the cost for our family was going to be almost $200 per month. No thank you.

I joined the budget gym where they only charge $10/month, but I literally only went 3 times and we paid for my membership for over a year. They didn’t offer childcare or any of the zumba/yoga/pilates classes I like.

My aunt told me my cousins belonged to the y and I remember thinking “I should look into that” but for some reason I never did.

Then this month we decided to downgrade my cell phone because we’re paying for me to have a Blackberry with a data plan even though I only use my phone to make calls and I average less than 5 minutes a month, so it’s pretty dumb for us to be paying for that. We should be able to save at least $45 a month taking away my data plan and getting a less fancy phone. 

I told Eddie that if we downgraded my phone I wanted to look into getting a gym membership again.

After some Googling, I found out the y in our area only charges $44/month for a family membership that INCLUDES childcare and the classes I missed at the other gym. Plus we have access to several locations in our city and the aquatic center as part of our membership. And 50% off youth sports if we want to sign the kids up for those.

Say what?

Yup, now our whole family has a membership and we’re actually saving $1/month once we downgrade my dumb phone. (I still want to have a phone for emergencies)

We were there yesterday and I actually got to work out and shower while someone watched my kids!!! I didn’t even care that it was in a dorm-style shower where I had to wear flip flops. 

I’m starting a yoga class this morning.

Plus I love that it’s a Christian environment. 

Here’s hoping that the rest of this baby weight comes off soon, but even if it doesn’t I’m still excited to be setting a good example of healthy living for my kids.

Yay!