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I have a feeling this post may be like opening up Pandora’s box and I want to first be clear that my intention is not to offend parents. Of course, every child has her/her own special talents, the things that make us unique. Right now I’m talking about being academically gifted.
How should I know? My credentials: I have a master’s degree in education, an additional gifted specialist certification, and I served for a few years as a gifted teacher in Florida’s public schools before staying home with my own kids. I spent my summers in trainings about identifying gifted learners. I’ve also been published in the Gifted Educational Press quarterly. Often, other parents will come to me and ask if I think their children may be gifted. So, if you are wondering the same thing, here are some points to consider…
How To Tell If Your Child Is Gifted
A few things to know about gifted learners:
1. What we think of as “smart” is not always the same as gifted. Neither is high-achieving. Getting straight A’s is awesome, but it does not necessarily mean a child is intellectually gifted. He/she might just be very motivated and work really hard- and that’s great too! Actually, sometimes gifted learners do not perform well in school at all for any number of reasons including not being stimulated enough, not liking authority, or knowing the correct answers but simply refusing to do the classwork.
2. Ask yourself, “Does ability match performance?” Often gifted kids are the ones who seem like they are not paying attention, are disruptive and uninterested, but can still get every answer right on a test. Many gifted children actually struggle in school and get bad grades because they lack motivation. On the other hand, some gifted children can earn excellent grades seemingly without even trying, it just comes naturally to them.
3. Gifted children can be socially awkward. They sometimes prefer the company of adults instead of their same-age peers.
4. Making up secret languages or talking in nonsense words on purpose is a sign of giftedness.
5. When I was working as a gifted teacher, in order to be considered academically gifted a child would need to have an IQ at least two standard deviations above the mean. That means IQ test results of 130 or higher.
6. Gifted children very often have a heightened sense of empathy. They hear about global problems like hunger and feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. This can, understandably, be very overwhelming for a young child.
If you think your child may be gifted:
- Supplementing academics with fun brain puzzles like Sudoku is a great idea. If your child often completes school assignments much faster than his/her classmates, ask the teacher if you can send in a book of crosswords or math puzzles for your child to keep in his or her desk and do while waiting for classmates to complete their work.
- Discuss current events in an age-appropriate way. Find a newspaper article or a website that does not contain graphic pictures and read it with your child. Let her develop her own opinion about it and ask why she feels that way. I utilized Time for Kids this way in my classroom.
- It is important to remember that just because children can do something, does not mean that they should. Even if your first grader is able to read the dialogue in Romeo and Juliet, strongly consider whether or not to let him do that just yet. Adult themes in literature are not always appropriate for young children. Particularly graphic or violent scenes in books or movies can very negatively affect those children with that heightened sense of empathy.
- Ask your child’s teacher if the text books used in the classroom have accompanying websites that can be used to supplement the curriculum at home.
- Journaling with your child can give you some great insights into his or her mind and personality. Use a marble notebook and have your child draw a picture or write you a letter on one side, then draw or write a similar letter to your child on the other side. This also makes a great keepsake!
- Connecting with other parents of gifted children also helps. See if there are any private Facebook groups for families of gifted children in your area. Joining them can lead to some lasting friendship and give you much-needed support.
If you need additional resources, The National Association for Gifted Children (http://www.nagc.org/) is a great place to start.
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Thank you for this! I have a feeling that my oldest might lean towards the gifted side, but I never really knew what the signs were and didn’t want to sound like one of “those” parents with the teacher. I may have to introduce him to Sudoku this year 🙂
Thanks so much for this post, Stephanie. I had no idea you specialized in gifted learners. This gives me a lot to think about, and I really appreciate your insight.
My kindergartener has recently been identified as gifted, which isn’t surprising and yet is at the same time. He’s also ADD and a very strong willed child, so behavior is a major issue. Consequences that can be enforced at school dont seem to do much. We have tried punishing for bad behavior rewarding for good behavior. Everything we can think of and nothing really works consistantly. He’d do so much better if I could stay home and homeschool him, I kow this but it’s just not financially possible right now. I’d love to see a post on what to do with kids like him. He can’t be the only one!
Thank you so much for this article. Many people have told me that my son is “gifted and special” but I just kind of let it go in one ear and out the other. Like the reader above, I didn’t want to be THAT mom. After reading this, its clear to me he shows many of the signs of being gifted you mentioned. I also didn’t know you have had experience with gifted children. I hope you don’t mind but I may be messaging you down the road if I have any questions. And if you have any more helpful insight or websites, could you please post. Thanks so much!
Message away! I’m glad to be able to help.
I’ve always suspected my son is gifted, specifically for your last reason: his heightened sense of empathy. Now that he’s in school, it’s interesting to see where his strengths and weaknesses lie, and how they’re challenged in the classroom.
How do you go about getting a child’s IQ tested?
It depends on how your school district handles gifted education. In Florida, where I taught, gifted was mandated as part of special education services and parents or teachers could request screenings from the school. You can also get a screening from a qualified psychologist.
Dear Stephanie, Thank you so much for providing a little insight into giftedness. I have long suspected my now 3 year old son to be highly intelligent/gifted but wasn’t sure how to truly tell. By 1yr old he had an obsession with dinosaurs and new a ridiculous amount of them, what they ate, what kind of habitat the lived in and constantly corrected people’s pronunciations. He knew his alphabet like a pro and could identify the letters on sight. At two his interest in numbers became very strong and counted up to 12 to 15. He is now adding and subtracting, He knows all his letter sounds and he is sounding them out and starting to read. He just starting writing and advancing in it at an incredible speed. This is all wonderful but he is also very defiant, oppositional, always challenging authority, disruptive and loud at his nursery school and at home and he always seems to not paying attention because he is all over the place but when you ask him a question, he answers with ease. He has a very advance vocabulary and is steps ahead in language skills compared to the other children in his class. The school makes him seem like a problem child and recommended a SEIT be assigned to him. She has been working with him since November 2015 on his behavior but it seems that with the Board of Ed/Special Ed division, Everyone is mostly focused with his behavior and there is no acknowledgment of his special abilities or even the possibility that he is gifted. I asked his teachers if they are teaching writing and she said not at all. They had no idea that he was able to do that at all. What can I do to help these professionals see what I see? TIA!
Goodness! At 1 my daughter was only learning her first words and interested in playing with a ball or something. Your son definitely sounds super clever!
Yes! Thank you for pointing out that being disruptive in class and socially awkward can actually be a sign of being gifted! I think these days, especially with boys, teachers who might not have the qualifications that you do are quick to just assume that they are lazy, immature and dumb compared to the girls who sometimes tend to naturally be more studious and attentive! My son understands math and reading concepts so quickly and effortlessly that he very easily gets bored and becomes disruptive in class, and thus gets in trouble frequently. I love your ideas about asking to be able to send in puzzles and crosswords for him!