I know a lot of you read this blog to follow along with Nicholas’ story and sometimes I need to write stuff down just so I can keep it straight myself.
He has made an amazing amount of progress this year. He is (mostly) potty trained and will be graduating out of his play therapy next month! He is doing much better managing his anger with everyone but me (although that is improving) and seems to be genuinely sorry after an outburst.
It seems school will be our next challenge.
Ahh, kindergarten. Why must you expect so much out of five-year-olds these days?
Academically, Nick is not doing well. At all. He does make a decent effort, but he struggles with letter recognition, number recognition, writing, pretty much every pre-kindergarten skill. He is improving, but he is still at the bottom of his class. His biggest struggles are with attention and motivation.
He was tested for kindergarten last week and the results were low. More than three standard deviations below the mean. (That’s an IQ level below mental retardation in the non-verbal category, in case you are interested) You can spend three seconds with him and know those results aren’t accurate, but they couldn’t get him to focus enough to try to do well. There’s a huge gap between performance and ability and it’s earning him all kinds of labels to qualify for special services, but with a score that low now I’m concerned that we’ll need to fight to keep him in the general classroom.
I’ve talked with his teachers about holding him back, but because he needs so much structure and he receives so many services, they feel he would do better in the public school 5 days a week than in his current private school 3 days a week. Not to mention that public schools are free and private schools cost money. I was happy to hear that because I was hoping to send him on to kindergarten anyway.
Homeschooling is not an option for us because his attachment issues with me make me the worst possible choice to be his teacher.
We’ve decided to send him to kindergarten and if he needs to repeat it next year, then fine.
He’s been working with an occupational therapist weekly to improve his fine motor skills and help him learn to write.
We do what we can at home. We have all the fancy dry erase boards, LeapFrog letter recognition toys, flashcards, we read everything and anything. I bought him Lego books to try to pique his interest. We play the SuperWhy letter games on the PBS kids website. I can go on, and on, and on…He just isn’t interested and when he’s not interested in holding his attention for more than two seconds just won’t happen. Period.
We’ve tried the gluten-free diet, no red dye, Omega 3 (that kind of did help), growing an organic garden…diet doesn’t seem to make much of a difference for him.
He’s gotten into golf, which is good for practicing patience. I’ve been in touch with an instructor about getting him lessons.
I’m also looking into music lessons for the same reasons.
I always said I’d never drug my child (put him on Ritalin, etc) unless his hyperactivity was severely affecting his academic performance. It is. I’m still not sure I want to do it, but we’re kind of running out of options.
I’m also worried about his hyperactiveness and lack of thinking through is going to start getting him ridiculed by his peers.
Apparently, he went into the kids’ choir room on Sunday and announced to everyone that his “hiney was very red and we needed to put lotion on it because there were a lot of germs down there.” Everyone finds it hysterical now when he blurts out with that stuff, but it won’t be so funny in another year or two. He’s going to be the weird kid.
I’ll be talking to the pediatrician next week.
I guess we could always try it and take him off right away if we’re not happy with the results.
I still think ADHD is way over-diagnosed and most of the time it’s just little boys being little boys, but if ever there was a child who had it, Nick is it.
I always tell Eddie he’s going to grow up to be just like Ty Pennington, he’s so exuberant, but he is just off the wall with crazy energy and it affects the way he is performing in school and the way he relates to people.
Have you ever put your kids on behavior modification medicine? What did you think of the results?
Hi Stephanie-
So my sister is on the same boat with the ADHD and my mom is a family psychologist and is against medicating her but to work with her. She started taking medicine but she would be soo mellow my mom took her off, but without it my sister felt out of control. She tried an alternative which was Vitamin B and it worked but for a while she as on half a ritalin pill (which was half of what the doctor suggested) and that helped. Its hard and dont feel bad if medication is an option sometimes they will thank you when they get older and know that it helps them with their emotions that they cant control. It got easier as my sister got older since she can tell and control her emotions a bit better but she has a long way to go…she is 17 now. she is smart so smart but cant sit long enough to concentrate. she is my life and i know that i will do anything as you are doing with your son to make his life better not for anyone else but for him 🙂 you are amazing mother you know that!? you better..because you are.
Clearly you’ve tried, and will continue to try, many things to help Nicholas. But be honest. If he had allergies, you’d give him Zyrtec. If he had a fever, you’d give him Motrin. And if he had cancer, you’d get him chemo or radiation. Why is this any different? It’s medication for a physical problem in his body. I say this not only as a former teacher, but also as an adult who was recently diagnosed, as an adult, with ADD. I cannot begin to tell you the difference Adderall has made in my life. I can finish a project. I can prioritize and organize what needs to be done. I’m less likely to have angry outbursts with my kids. I feel normal, like other people, and like I am a capable human being. There are many meds out there, and giving it a try isn’t a promise to keep him on it until he’s an adult. I just can’t see why you (or any parent) wouldn’t give it a chance, especially given that you are also trying other things to help him as well. It’s not like you’re using the pill as a magic-cure-all that relieves you of any responsibility.