It’s been eleven years since the first time Eddie and I sat in a training. We lived in Florida at the time and were working on getting licensed to adopt a child out of the foster care system. The following year we were matched with Nicholas. He was our first child, so parenting a child who has been through trauma is the first thing we learned. Trauma and attachment-focused parenting is our baseline.
We do also have two biological children who came along later. I can tell you unequivocally that the love is no different. But, just like when raising any children who have different personalities and needs, sometimes the parenting styles have to be tailored uniquely for each child. I never sugarcoat the fact that parenting children who have been through trauma is hard work. It is also very necessary work. If you’ve been here a while, you know some of our story. I like to say that I might have carried my daughters, but I labored the hardest for my son.
Recently, we were licensed again to be foster/adoptive parents in Pennsylvania. We currently have five kids in our care. One is adopted, two are biological, and two are foster children we are hoping to adopt.
When people find out that we’ve been doing this for a while and we’re choosing to do it again, they have a lot of questions. Often those questions are coming from people who have considered fostering or adopting themselves.
I tried my best to put most of those questions and answers here in this post. If you have any further questions, it’s a good idea to call a local adoption agency. Every state has slightly different requirements. Someone local to you will be able to guide you through your specific situation much better than I can. I am not a social worker or an attorney, so this post is not intended as legal or professional advice. I’m just a mom with a little bit of experience who can share what I’ve learned with you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption and Foster Care [Read more…]