It’s wedding season again.
Just last weekend, five of my Facebook friends got married. Several more have anniversaries this week.
A few others just got engaged.
My Pinterest feed is overrun by friends pinning ideas for the perfect wedding.
This time in 2006, My bridesmaids teased me that I was the opposite of a bridezilla and apparently they appreciate it. They chose their own dress and I didn’t care how they did their hair or their nails or what shoes they wore.
I didn’t care what the table linens looked like.
I didn’t even chose my own flowers. I trusted my Aunt Cathi with that job and I didn’t have any idea what they were going to look like until they day we got married and she showed up with the bouquets.
We didn’t have any centerpieces on the tables, just a few framed pictures of us with all of our guests on each table. We tried to have at least one picture out of each person who was there.
I really didn’t care about planning the perfect wedding and it’s a good thing, because we certainly didn’t get what you would probably picture to be the perfect wedding.
We got married in the middle of a hurricane. Literally. (Well, ok, not like outside in the eye of a storm, but close enough.)
Ahhh, Ernesto. You son of a …
At the time (Summer of 2006) we were living in Florida, but having a Baltimore wedding because most of our friends and family were in the greater Baltimore/DC area.
Hurricane Ernesto made us change our plans and leave Florida early, which wasn’t that big of a deal. Just a change of flight and a few extra days off work.
Then, he started to make his way up the east coast. Eventually, he was downgraded to a tropical storm, but it was bad, y’all.
First, he took out our rehearsal dinner.
My mother-in-law had planned a lovely dinner at a local seafood restaurant after the rehearsal. Ernesto took out the power and our group waited for about an hour in the dark until the restaurant decided there was just no way they could cook anything. My in-laws graciously invited anyone who was willing to brave the storm back to their house for pizza. Half of the guests decided to head home instead. It was almost 9pm and in the middle of a tropical storm, after all.
Businesses were closing everywhere. It was late and no one wanted to be delivering pizza in this mess. Our bridesmaids, bless their hearts, took it upon themselves to dive to a pizza shop and pick up food before they closed.
The groomsmen got a flat tire. It pretty much seemed like this wedding was doomed.
But they showed up later in soaking wet shirts and ties and filthy from changing it in the pouring rain. Our friends were there. With pizzas. And our family was there to help eat them. And then we played pool in an unfinished basement.
It was cheap and the food was good and there was no stuffy, uncomfortable meal with people who hardly know each other trying to make polite conversation about how they know the bride and groom. It was pretty much the best rehearsal dinner ever.
The next day it was still raining on and off. Not that big of a deal, except our wedding reception was going to be at Ruth’s Chris on one of the Piers of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. There was a legitimate concern that Ernesto was going to flood the harbor. We spent a better part of the day making calls to be sure they would still be open because there really was no plan B.
Also, my Aunt Charlotte, who was supposed to do one of our readings, and my uncle and one of our friends were stuck in Virginia. Ernesto had taken down huge trees and the roads were closed. My friend Tabatha (Yes, our favorite chicken farmer.) had agreed to do the reading if it was necessary, not thinking it actually would be, but now she was nervous about it and apparently off somewhere taking shots.
In the meantime, I was taking shots of Pepto Bismol with my bridesmaids because all this mess was stressing me out. I just kept telling myself that no matter what happened, at the end of the day I was going to be married. That is why we were doing this, remember.
Oh, and the limo that was going to be our ride to the church? Not coming. The limo company double booked themselves and were “on the way” for over an hour after they were supposed to be there.
I was not about to be late for my own wedding waiting for some stupid limo. We hiked up my skirt (it took a few people) and crammed me into my grandfather’s old Oldsmobile. My bridesmaids got themselves other rides and we rode off to that church in style.
(Eventually the limo did show up in time to take Eddie & I to the reception, but they sent the wrong car.)
The ceremony was lovely and at the end of it we were MARRIED. Big sigh of relief. Ok, I don’t care what else happens now. Mission accomplished.
When we got to the reception they had run out of h’orderves and they were charging people for drinks from the bar, which was supposed to be open. Before we could go in the room we had to talk with the staff and sort that stuff out.
I also noticed that they had forgotten to put out our cake and I was very nervous that they had already cut it in the back room. That was the one thing that did upset me. I didn’t want to pay $1,200 for a cake nobody even saw. (It was expensive because it was from Duff Goldman’s bakery, Charm City Cakes, but this was back before he was on Food Network.) Luckily, they hadn’t cut it yet and they did set it out.
Yay.
The rest of the night went off without a hitch.
Everybody said the food was great. I wouldn’t know, we really didn’t get a chance to eat. It was very fancy, a sit down meal with a personalized menu. I didn’t know they were going to do that, so it was a nice surprise. Everyone thought it was very la de da to have a wedding reception at Ruth’s Chris, but I’ll tell you a secret. The truth is it was much cheaper than having it at a country club or hotel because we only had to pay for the food and drinks. Shhhh. They already had all of the decor, table linens, etc. We only had to pay between $35-$55/per person depending on what people ordered (there were only 5 people who didn’t order steak) plus the cost of the alcohol. Of course, that was 6 years ago, I have no idea what they charge now. But I had friends getting married the same year who were charged about $90 per person at other venues, so it was a pretty sweet deal.
Our Father/Daughter dance to Johnny B. Goode set a fun tone for the night and to this day people still tell me that it was the most fun they’ve ever had at a wedding.
I know that is true for me.
Because I hate wedding shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress and because I am now getting asked to share marriage advice for upcoming weddings and showers, my best advice is this: It’s not about the wedding. It’s about the marriage. No matter what your special day looks like or whether or not it turns out like you planned, you will still be married at the end of it and that is the part that deserves your focus and attention.
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