Dumpster Diving With Kristen Bell

In order for this post to make any sense, first I need to make sure you have all seen the new web-based show, “The Mommy Show,” in which Ilana from Mommy Shorts brings celebrities into her everyday life as a mom. (Unlike me, Ilana is cool enough to actually know real celebrities and invite them over to her house for craft time. And they show up.)  Each webisode is only about 5 minutes, so they are easy to watch and SO FUNNY. My favorite part so far was when Ilana timed how long it took Taye Diggs to get the childproof lock off her toilet.

Yeah, that’s Taye Diggs on her couch.

So when Ilana posed the question, “Which celebrity would you want to hang out with in your everyday life?” I knew my answer right away.

Easy. Kristen Bell.

She’s so down to earth and hilarious, but also really pretty with a great fashion sense. And she’s not afraid to share her emotional connection to the sloth.  She seems like a girlfriend’s girlfriend.

 Anyway, yesterday something awesome happened and I wish that my BFF (in my head) Kristen was here to share it with me.

I had my first dumpster diving experience!

It was a little awkward, which is why I wish Kristen had been there. I’m sure she would have seen the sheer awesomeness of the situation when I saw these sitting outside of the dumpster next to our apartment building.

As it was, I was just minding my own business taking my dog out to poop and then I saw them. I ran back into the house to get the iPad and take this picture and put it on facebook. Then I ran back outside two minutes later and took the portraits. 

By the third time I had left my four-year-old in charge of my one-year-old (the one-year-old was napping, and I was just outside our front door,  for the record) for a few minutes so that I could run out  and focus on pictures of a more than half-naked George Cotasnza and his friend Kramer, I was starting to feel a little silly.

But I knew if Kristen was here, she would have told me to go for it.

She would have been the perfect dumpster diving wing(wo)man.

I can just see her yelling across the parking lot at the lady in her fuzzy slippers who kept looking at me askew, “WHAT? Like you don’t think these pictures are amazing? Back off. We got here first!”

And then she would loud-whisper encouraging thing to me as she stood in my doorway, half watching me and half keeping an ear out for my kids.

Then after Eddie got home from work, we would dress up in classy Audrey Hepburn inspired threads and hit the town, carrying a very large portrait of George Costanza and we would take pictures of ourselves all over town with him, like our very own perverted version of Flat Stanley.

 And Kristen would bring the George picture with her the next time she was interviewed by Ellen and she would tell the story of dumpster diving with her favorite BFF.

But since, in reality, I have never met Kristen Bell, now all I have are very large and slightly water damaged pictures of George and Kramer and the memory of what could have been.

::loud whispers:: Call me Kristen.

Which celebrity is your BFF in your own head? Or do you know any celebrities in real life?