Right now my husband is in Virginia at Shenandoah National Park because his job as a highway engineer has taken him on a 3-month-long journey along the east cost to inspect these guard walls.
So he is here:
I stole these pictures from his Facebook page, isn’t it beautiful?
And I am in central PA dealing with this:
and this
Yes, earlier this morning Nicholas climbed the entertainment center and the top shelf fell down causing the television, the dvd player and the satellite receiver to come crashing down. I swear that boy is hiding horseshoes in his Pull-Ups because the fact that he did not get hurt and nothing broke is nothing short of miraculous. I had to call my friend Rebecca and ask her to come over with her daughter so we could clumsily try to put this mess back together while three toddlers ran around the living room.
I am trying hard not to be jealous and resentful and throw myself a big ole pity party because it is only going to get worse over the course of the next few months. Because we have a son with a severe attachment disorder stemming from his time in foster care (which is not because his foster mom was not amazing, because she was.) who goes around the house at midnight “looking for fathers” now that his daddy is gone, who won’t sleep at night unless one of our guy friends spends some quality time with him during the day, who has started smearing poop on the furniture again since Eddie left, who asks me on an almost daily basis if he can “go live at daddy’s new house” because he doesn’t understand that this situation is not permanent, and who has such rage in his little body that at 3 years old he can topple a television that is so heavy that I can’t pick it back up by myself.
I understand that Eddie would much rather be here and that he feels guilty and awful about what Nick is going through. His role right now is to provide for our family and my role right now is to look after these children…
But REALLY???!!!
I am not trying to sound unappreciative because we really have received a lot of help from family and friends who have been so gracious to take care of our yard work, babysit for a few hours, invite us to diner, and help me put the entertainment center back together, but no matter what anyone does they just can’t take the place of a spouse.
I just simply cannot do very basic things like cook, do the laundry, keep the house clean when there are therapy appointments, preschool meetings, dog baths, and toppled televisions to deal with.
Last night after the kids were asleep I watched a Lifetime called the 19th wife. Afterward I joked on the phone with Eddie that maybe polygamy wasn’t such a bad idea because with my husband gone what I really need right now is a wife.
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