Diary of a Reluctant Homeschooler

Back in 2008 when this little guy came into our lives we stood in a courtroom and swore to do everything within our ability to be the best parents we possibly could to him. It was so easy when all he needed was a bottle or a diaper change and there were no other kids to worry about.

But then he went and grew up. Sigh. it was bound to happen eventually, I suppose.

Now we’re ready for kindergarten. Except we’re not. Well, I am, I really really am, but he’s not.

It’s been on my heart for a while, but I’ve tried to ignore it. I know what he needs and I’ve heard professional after professional say the same thing at preschool conferences, IEP meetings, occupational therapy, on the phone with my mom…”The best thing for Nicholas really is a lot of one on one attention.”

But I’ve been looking so forward to being able to send him to school and not have to worry about the steady stream of therapy appointments, which could just happen in the classroom. To have time to concentrate on my girls, who have never had my undivided attention. Space for both of us to breathe. One less thing on my plate. I do have a new baby at home and we are in the middle of building a new house, after all.

We have no beef with public schools. My husband went to public elementary and middle schools and my entire teaching career was spent in the public school system.

I would rather send him to a Christian school for faith-based education, but we couldn’t find an affordable option in our area that met my standards and we’d still have the same “he needs more attention than that” issues.

Right now he is testing in the 0.04% range. That means if you put 200 kids in a room, he would be the lowest academic performer. Even if he has the most amazing teacher in the universe, there is no way she/he is going to be able to bring him up to grade level with 17 other kids in the class to worry about.

We thought about another year of preschool, but we were told (and we agree) that it is really just a waste of money when the public school system is free and they have so many more resources that would be available to him.

Then there was the conversation that almost broke my heart…

What would you think about mommy being your teacher and doing kindergarten here at home?

That would be fun!

You know, if we do that you would stay here and have school at home, not in a big classroom.

I like my classroom. I like my friends, but they don’t like me. When I try to talk to them they run away like this (runs around the kitchen island)

After that, I knew I didn’t really have a choice. I sent in the application for our state’s online charter school, k12.

Pros: 

• One-on-one with me every day.
• I can add religious education.
• It’s a version of public school, so it’s free and they send you all of the curriculum materials for language arts, math, science, social studies, and art, plus a computer and a printer, and they reimburse your internet expenses. In a few years, they also add music and there are several foreign languages.
• I know how to do this, I am still a certified teacher and I have experience in grades 1-5.
• He will still have a lot of social interaction at the YMCA, our church’s Olympian Club program, sports, and our Mom n Me group is starting a home school room this year. Plus we personally know 5 homeschooling families and there are many more in our community. It’s very common around this area.
• The k12 program has a special ed program and he will be assigned a certified teacher, so even though I will still be the primary “learning coach,” I don’t have to be the bad guy all of the time, which will help with our attachment concerns, I hope.
• We can take frequent physical activity or snack breaks, which he really needs to improve his focus.
• Nobody will be pushing me to medicate him (Which, incidentally, the doctor refused to do. Yet another reason we love our doctor)
• Abby, who we truly believe is gifted, will be exposed to the kindergarten curriculum early.
• I can modify the curriculum to fit our schedule and to include his interests.
• More time to pursue his intense interests in music and golf
• He won’t be picked on for being a slow learner or socially awkward. Adults almost always fall in love with him. Kids? notsomuch.

Cons

• But I don’t wanna

Clearly, I am just being a big baby and I need to grow a pair and step up and do what’s best for my kid.

So, home school it is. (Probably. We’ve got the paperwork and done the first phone conference but they need to review the IEP and have one more meeting before we get his final acceptance).

Gulp.

UPDATE: Here are a few other posts I wrote about our homeschooling experience:

How to Set up a Homeschool Nook

Diary of a Reluctant Home Schooler, A is for A-ha moment!

Diary of a Reluctant Home Schooler, Weird and Overwhelming

Diary of a Reluctant Home Schooler, The Supplies Are Here!

Diary of a Reluctant Home Schooler, Our First Day!

Diary of a Reluctant Home Schooler, Week 1