I also find it interesting that although these pictures were only taken 4 months apart, I look about 10 years older. Guess I was maturing. (stop laughing.)
and much to my dismay, the balloon never deflated. No matter what I did.
Eat healthier, nope.
Weight Watchers, nope.
Richard Simmons, nope.
Pilates, nope.
Zumba, nope.
Got a CT scan and blood work done to check my thyroid level and blood sugar.
They’re normal.
Talked to the doctor. He said I won’t be able to lose weight until I can get more sleep and have less stress in my life.
Ha! That’s hilarious, doc. Guess that’s why there is such a thing as “mom jeans.” Because most moms have bodies like my new one.
It’s a pretty average body, I guess, but for a long time, I’ve felt fat.
I think that’s weird, because I know if I saw someone my size (which is a size 10 or 12) on the street I would not think “Oh, my. That lady is FAT!”
But when you have spent a lifetime in a body like my old one, this new one feels exactly that.
If I wouldn’t think it about a stranger on the street, why do I think it when I look in the mirror? I don’t like doing that.
And I don’t like seeing old friends for the first time in a while and imagining them thinking, “She’s really let herself go.”
And I don’t like thinking that our new friends probably just assume that I’m lazy and overeat.
Because I’m not. And I don’t. And they probably aren’t even thinking that anyway. And it annoys me. Because I never thought that my body image and my self-image were that intertwined. That I was that shallow.
And articles like this one in the media don’t help. Don’t bother clicking on it, I shall summarize:
They called a mother of 4 who weighed 165 a “blimp” and a “balloon” and said if she didn’t drop 40 pounds quickly, she was at serious risk for a fatal heart attack.
Because don’t you know that we are all supposed to weigh 125 pounds? (For the record, I weighed 138 pounds in my “before” pictures and that light blue dress is a size 4.)
Yeah, well. All I know is that I weigh about the same as the woman in that article in every one of those post-baby pictures and my doctor isn’t concerned. And my husband still thinks I’m attractive.
So why do I care? Don’t know, but I do.
Although recently I did find a little bit of encouragement in the media.
It’s a website called The Shape of a Mother and it celebrates the imperfections that bearing children leaves on the female body.
And there is also a website called Operation Beautiful (thanks for sharing Mary Joy!) which is a movement to help women transform their body image and see themselves as beautiful. Which is important.
Because going from this:
UPDATE: Apparently I am not the only woman with these body issues (duh!) but wouldn’t you know that Mary Joy over at Seeds of Encouragement Sewn With Grace tackled this very issue the day after I wrote this post. That’s Uncanny. I am adding the information that she provided about Operation Beautiful into the body of my post.
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