So You Think You Want a Swagger Wagon? What to Consider Before Buying a Minivan

January 15, 2015 By: Stephanie4 Comments

Yesterday I polled my Binkies and Briefcases Facebook page to see how many of my readers drive minivans like I do. I asked for their favorite and least favorite features about their swagger wagons.

Are you thinking about what to consider before buying a minivan?

Here’s what my readers and I have to say about it.

Ready for a mini-van?

Our favorite things

The overwhelming majority of readers who responded were moms who LOVED their minivans. I’m in that camp too. Right now I drive a 2007 Nissan Quest with over 100,000 miles on it, and when it dies I will get another minivan.

Here is what moms love about their minivans:

1. They hold a bunch of people.

“I love my van. I never ever thought I would be caught dead driving one, but with 6 kids my options were limited. My hubby has a 4×4 that seats them all. But it has no boot room. Now even hubby prefers the van for comfort” – Louise

“I love the space for the kids and also that it can fit 7 people. So when we go somewhere with my parents we can just ride together, or there’s been several times when each of the older kids’ has had a friend come over and they all fit.”-Kim

2. They hold a lot of stuff.

“I had a minivan when my kids were younger. It was the best ever! It took my kids and their friends to Disneyland, sports teams to games and practices, carried loads of “stuff”. It was named by my daughter’s friends as “Jet Blue”. It even became the “limo” to the prom one year and held chilled Martinelli’s and chocolate dipped strawberries to make it special. The kids grew up and the van finally died. I cried when I had to leave it on the final day. Thank you, my friend, the minivan.” -Mary

3. The doors and the trunk open for you.

“They are designed to be easy to use. I love that I can open and close doors with a button press.” -Jennifer

4. Space

“I love that no one has to touch each other!” -Carmen

“The BEST thing about the one I had was that EVERYONE got a window seat, no more fighting about that, and it also kept them separated so I never had to hear ‘mommy he’s touching me!'” -Carol

Plus, the roof is high. A few moms mentioned making the switch once their sons passed the six-foot mark and needed more headroom.

5. The back seats fold down.

If you can get the third-row seats split, this is even better, Because then you can transport three kids AND the chair you just picked up at a garage sale.

My husband actually really likes using our minivan for hauling lumber. He puts it down the center aisle, all the way up to the dashboard. We’ve had 12 foot long pieces of wood stay completely dry on the way home in the pouring rain when we were working on our floating fireplace mantle.

6. There are a million cup holders.

I actually don’t understand why this is such a big selling feature, but apparently, it is. Our minivan literally has 14 cup holders. It was the first thing the salesperson told me and he repeated it no less than five times while trying to sell us the car. But we bought it, so the joke is on us. Cup holders sell cars, people.

7. Safety.

“Big bonus is it had the side curtain airbags that went all the way to the back windshield (some of the other trucks the side curtain airbags only went as far as the second row.) What??!! So the children in the back row aren’t protected? Ok, then scratch those trucks that do not offer protection for the whole carful of passengers.” -Julianne

8. The gas mileage is better than many trucks and SUVs.

“In terms of gas, it gets 32 mpg highway which is much more than any other vehicle I have owned.” -Tabatha

Our Least Favorite Things

The wagon isn’t all swagger. There are a few less than stellar aspects to owning a minivan.

1. The sliding doors

While these are one of the best features about owning a minivan because of the convenience, they are also one of the worst.

If you live in a cold climate, they will freeze shut. And you will curse them. This happens to us frequently in the winter here in Pennsylvania, and many of my readers commented with the same concern. When you have young kids in car seats, it is not easy to climb in through the front and get them all buckled into the back rows, especially when everyone is bundled for cold weather and their boots are full of snow.

They can also be a safety concern. One mom commented that her child’s finger got stuck and severely injured in their sliding door.

2. There aren’t a lot of All Wheel Drive options

Again, something for those of us who live in cold climates or rough terrain to consider. However, our van actually does handle better in snow and ice than our Ford Explorer, and several of my readers left similar comments about their minivans handling bad weather pretty well. I’ve been told snow tires make a world of difference here, although we don’t have them. Which brings me to the next point…

3. The tires are crazy expensive to replace.

If you are used to driving a sedan, you are going to be very unpleasantly surprised the first time it costs you about $1,000 to get a new set of tires for your vehicle.

4. The stigma (and its consequences)

There is a large I’ll never crowd when it comes to the minivan. They, like, really hate minivans for no apparent reason other than they just never want to be that person who drives one.

When you are on the road, as far as other people are concerned, you are your car. And when you are a minivan some other drivers do NOT like you, man. I have actually noticed that other people drive more dangerously around me on the highway when I’m in the van, trying to pass us illegally or generally just being jerks. I don’t think it’s my driving because it doesn’t happen nearly as often to me when I drive our other vehicle. It truly is like people just don’t want to be “stuck” behind a minivan, so they drive like maniacs to get around you. This makes me especially nervous because my kids are usually all in the car with me.

Taking the bad with the good, I still love my minivan. But when I go to buy our next one, I definitely want to make sure it has these features:

-One automatic sliding door and One manual. This is what our van has now and I really like it, in case there are problems with the automatic one.

-All Wheel Drive!!!

-A split third-row seat

What about you? Are you for or against the swagger wagon?

Penny Is Three

December 30, 2014 By: Stephanie2 Comments

Little Miss Penelope Christine is three today.

Three.

A big kid.

She is our baby with the keen sense of humor who suddenly turns very serious and somber whenever anybody else is around.

She really isn’t very fond of most other people. Her idea of a good time is hanging out on the couch all day, reading and watching movies. She takes after her mother like that. She hates having her hair brushed and she has a very particular fashion sense (in that she would prefer to be naked or wearing the exact same summer dress every day, even though it is December).

It is almost impossible to get her to smile for a photograph. It always has been.

She has perfected the art of the silent treatment and, for the most part, will just sit quietly and just take it all in. Whatever “it” is. But if it gets to be too much for her, she is not shy about voicing her concerns.

In the comfort of home, in her own familiar world, she is happy to play and sing, to make up jokes, run and have tickle fights. Once you introduce more than two or three other people, she becomes a quiet observer of humanity.

Always watching. Thinking. Our philosopher.

Experimenting with new words and facial expressions and making up jokes. Then occasionally she will turn very sad and start to cry for reasons she never can quite explain.

Sometimes I wonder already if she has the tortured soul of an artist brewing. But what is there– at three– to brew about? Apparently a lot.

When she is not lost in her own thoughts, she is a sweet girl with a sweet tooth who is obsessed with the movie Frozen and the color pink. In other words, she is three.

I’ll Keep That In Mind

November 25, 2014 By: Stephanie4 Comments

For years it was my mantra whenever we went out in public. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Sometimes it is the expression that still saves me.

I was young and naive when I started this journey as an adoptive mom. I didn’t yet know how to ignore the ignorant and didn’t want to offend the well-meaning.

Unsolicited Parenting Advice

There were so many things that they didn’t know, but the comments always came. From family or from strangers in the grocery store.

Don’t you think that child is too old for a bottle?

Shouldn’t he be potty trained by now?

Maybe he’s just tired.

Can you please quiet him down?

What I wanted to say was, “No. No, I don’t think he is too old for a bottle. And I don’t care if I have to change Pull-Ups a little while longer. And, yes, I do think he is tired because you don’t have any idea how bad the nightmares get. And no I can’t quiet him down. Or maybe I can, but I won’t, because his voice deserves to be heard, even when it is an angry voice.”

What I did instead was try to smile as politely as I could as their comments made me question my own judgment.

Eventually, the realization that God and a whole team of social workers chose me instead of them for this job– the job of his forever mom– gave me the confidence to dismiss them.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Do you know what else I will keep in mind?

By the time my son was a year old, he had three different mothers.

By the time he was two he had gone from a homeless shelter in Tampa to a split-level in Pennsylvania, and several houses and families in between.

So, if it’s all the same to you, I’m going to let him keep drinking out of that bottle a little while longer, and I’m going to hold him while he does it. I don’t particularly care if you think that is strange because he doesn’t fit in my arms horizontally, or if it might make his baby teeth– the ones that will fall out anyway– stick out a little funny (which it didn’t). Because he is still only two or three years old and the bottle is a symbol of part of a childhood lost and the new attachments we are trying to form. It brings comfort and familiarity and tells him that we, this new family in this new place, will take care of him in the way he deserves.

I’ll keep that in mind when it is three a.m. and I am still awake because the nightmares and the rage have kept a toddler up all night, and someone has to keep an eye on him. Someone has to be there to teach him to hit the beanbag chair, or the pillow, or the mattress instead of punching holes in the wall or hurting the people around him. When you tell me I look tired and I should “try to sleep when the baby sleeps” I will just sigh and say, “I’ll keep that in mind.” I will not bother telling you that those comments, which I know are made with the best of intentions, are literally impossible instructions to follow.

I’ll keep that in mind, your latest potty training advice when I am sitting in the waiting room at the therapist’s office counting the minutes until his appointment is over, or at the pediatric GI specialist, or at the Emergency Room waiting on the results of the prostate exam he just had to endure. I will try to contain my anger and frustration upon the news that the doctors think we are here because he was given cow’s milk instead of formula or breast milk at birth, and I was not there to stop it. I will have nothing to say to the doctors who offer this explanation except, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then I will try to pull myself back into the present moment, because this is where we are right now, and we can’t do anything to change how we got here. We can only try to move forward.

I will keep that in mind, that you have asked me to calm down my child on the playground, as he kicks and screams on the ground at my feet. I will weigh your words, decide they have no merit, and I will let him continue to kick and scream because he has every right in the world to feel angry. When I see you glaring at me, I will smile back at you and attempt to be friendly. I do not owe you an explanation, and I think anger is a healthy reaction to what this child has endured in his very short lifetime. As you huff and pull your children away from our “bad example” I will roll my eyes and remind myself that you do not know what you do not know.

Whenever you tell me with indignity that you saw a woman at the grocery store who had four children with her, you could tell from their skin tones that they all had different fathers, and she had the audacity to pay with food stamps that “we” provide, I will wonder out loud if she may have been a foster mother. Although personally, I will be happy whether she is or not, because if there is one thing I do not mind my tax dollars doing, it is feeding hungry children.

I can tell by the way your face falls as I say it that you may have said something unkind within her earshot, and now you are reconsidering your words.

“Hmm, I’ve never thought of that,” I hear you whisper quietly to yourself. “Foster kids? I’ll keep that in mind.”

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Please keep our foster children in mind.

Thank you for your pins and shares!

I haven’t always been this calm about people sticking their nose in my family’s business. I vented all about my frustration with this in a previous post. Check it out for some solidarity in this never-ending parenting struggle.

Keep your parenting advice to yourself

The Super Secret Project Is…

November 18, 2014 By: Stephanie11 Comments

For almost a month now, I have been telling you that I have been working on a super secret project.

Well, I can finally tell you what it is!

After our story went viral, I realized how important the issue of girls’ clothing really is and how many other cultural implications are tied to it, so I started writing a book. But as more comments and emails and pictures from you poured in, I very quickly realized that some stories just need to be told in a more visual way. I needed to be able to share more pictures, more interviews with professionals, and conversations with the girls themselves. I needed more viewpoints than just my own, and more than I could pack into the pages of a book.

I needed to turn this into a documentary.

So I called my friend Jeremy about a month ago (Remember how I told you he owns a production company?) and together we came up with the concept for Seamingly Obvious. It will be a feature-length documentary that explores the sexualization of women via the media and fashion industries today and its long-term psychological effects on a girl’s sense of identity. We will interview representatives from the fashion industry, developmental psychologists, parents, and children in an effort to discover how our current cultural attitudes affect the various stages of development.

I am so excited to have the amazing opportunity to partner with Awarehouse Productions and Percepto Studios to make that vision a reality!

And we’ve actually already started. (Fair warning, there are a few PG-13 images in the first 30 seconds of this video, which are only meant to serve as examples of what our daughters are seeing on magazine covers and advertisements every day.)

Seamingly Obvious from PERCEPTO STUDIOS and Awarehouse Productions.

(Click the gear icon and make sure it is set to 720HD for the best viewing experience.)

Partnering with small, independent film companies was a very purposeful decision. In the height of the media frenzy that surrounded my blog post calling out Target, I was approached by several large retailers, and I told some of them about this idea. But when they asked if I would use the same vendors that they use to shoot commercials for their products, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I knew I couldn’t in good conscious put this project in someone else’s hands. Jeremy was the one who encouraged me and introduced me to the best people he knows—which is how we put together our team—but said that I was going to have to be the one who told this story and directed the film. (gulp!)

Then the American Psychological Association expressed interest in helping since our mission ties directly into a report that their task force put together, and I knew I had a responsibility to keep myself un-biased. So we decided to try to crowd-source this project, which is going to be a huge undertaking. And it means that I need your help.

I want to be able to continue to tell this story honestly, in my own words, the way I have been doing all along.

We all agree that media has been part of the problem.

I want to use it as part of the solution.

We have a big goal, but I am confident that we can achieve it together.

Everyone knows that movies are very expensive to make.

We need to raise $100,000 to make this one.

I know that is a lot of money– it’s more than I paid for my first house.

I also know that this movie is important. And I know you think it is important too, because you told me so. Those are your words in the beginning of the video. We took them directly from comments you left on my Facebook page.

So, I’m asking you today if you can donate $10, $20, $50 or whatever you can afford, so that this momentum doesn’t stop at one mom’s blog post. I know that we can turn this into a major movement toward change.

Because our daughters deserve better.

I am donating my time to this project and I refuse to take a salary out of the money you provide. The money will all go toward equipment, travel, production, and post-processing costs. And it goes a lot faster than you think.

For weeks now you have been asking me what you can do, how you can help. This is a chance to do it. This can be the first step in achieving the changes that we all want to see. So please share this post and donate what your family can afford.

Also, please visit the website for Seamingly Obvious and like our Facebook page. Please share these pages on your social media channels. The further we can spread the word, the better.

Thank you so much for your continued support. I cannot wait to see how far we can get together!

Head on over to our website to make a donation!

Health Update

November 17, 2014 By: Stephanie8 Comments

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and concern.

Last week I had my first visit with the neurology department so that we can try to figure out what is going on with this pesky little lesion in my brain.

I honestly don’t know a whole lot more than I did before, but I promised to keep you updated, so…

Basically, they still don’t know what it is, but they don’t think it is anything very scary. It’s not cancer and they doubt it is Multiple Sclerosis because there is only one lesion and it is still relatively small.

I was told to start weaning off the Valium I had been taking, so at least I will be allowed to drive again, although I won’t if I’m still dizzy, because that would be dangerous, especially with the kids in the car.

I got poked and prodded with a bunch of cold sharp metal things to test for feeling in my extremities, and they tested my reflexes similar to the way a police officer might test to see if you have been drinking and driving.

When the doctor started poking me with an open safety pin and asking if it felt “pokey,” it took everything I had to bite my smart-mouthed tongue and not reply, “Actually, that feels more like tetanus.” So, I just nodded.

Apparently the fact that I could feel all the “pokiness” was a good thing.

We’re going to try some physical therapy and see if the symptoms go away.

In the meantime, I feel very similar to the way I felt in the first trimester of pregnancy. (Before you ask, no, I’m not pregnant. Yes, I am very sure.) I wake up dizzy and nauseated and I get very, very tired really easily. It usually gets better throughout the day, but mornings are pretty rough.

The doctor said the lesion could really be anything from a small benign tumor to just built-up scar tissue from years of migraines or an old head injury– but that really doesn’t explain any of the vertigo or other symptoms, like my hands and feet going numb or the black spots in my vision. So we will probably do more MRIs with contrast so they can get better pictures.

I go back for my next neurology appointment next month.

I am grateful that none of the doctors so far seem to think that it is anything life-threatening and that I got a great excuse to stay home with my kids again. Although, I could do without waking up with headaches and feeling sick every single morning, obviously.

My school called today and said they hired a permanent teacher to replace me, so I am feeling better for former my students and my colleagues, who I felt very guilty about leaving so suddenly.

Poor Eddie has been doing most of the stuff around the house in addition to working crazy hours, because bending up and down to load the dishwasher or transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer makes me feel like the entire room is spinning and I’m going to faint. It would not be cool to faint while I am home alone with Penny during the day, obviously. I spend most of the weekend in bed because doing pretty much anything throughout the week, like just making the kids’ lunch, leaves me exhausted. By the time the weekend comes, sometimes I literally cannot get out of bed. So he has also been taking the kids to all of their activities. I know that he is feeling very drained. And I am feeling very useless. Sorry honey. In sickness and in health, remember?

It is funny, though, how God has used this experience. For example, even though I was only teaching for about a month this school year, I got to have great health insurance while I was undergoing the majority of my testing. I was able to connect my school to the pastors from our church and now they have that connection in the community for more volunteers and funding. And immediately after I was forced to quit because I ran out of sick time, that Target post went viral and I started getting offers for some amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, like appearing on the panel of women who spoke on Glenn Beck’s show, that I never could have done if I was still working.

I have been through a few pregnancies and I am a mom. I know how to continue to function, for the most part, while feeling not feeling my best. 😉 We are moms, it’s what we do.

But, if you could be praying for anything specific, we are obviously still looking for answers and I would appreciate prayers for Eddie’s stamina and for my kids as this has been a crazy time with a lot of transitions for them.

Meanwhile, I’ll be here at home reading, blogging, and continuing to work on the super secret project, which I think I can tell you about later this week!! And I’ll be really hoping that most of the studies are wrong about toddlers and tv– because I am definitely letting Penny watch way too much while we try to settle in to our new normal around here.

Love,

Steph

steph 2 #shop

Forget Bringing Sexy Back, Can We Focus On Bringing Intimacy Back For a Second?

November 5, 2014 By: Stephanie6 Comments

Sorry, Justin. You know I love you. (I can’t help it, I was a teenager in the ’90’s.)

But I don’t really think we need to focus on bringing sexy back right now, because it’s already here.

It’s everywhere, including places it really doesn’t need to be- like printed on the back of these “hip shorts” that are clearly actually underwear (I hope) and also feature the phrase “All tied up.” But, you know, there is a picture of a bow tie on them, so it’s punny. Way to keep it classy, JT.

I’ve been spending a great deal of time reading research and articles about the sexualization of girls lately, in preparation for that Glenn Beck segment and as part of the super secret larger project I’ll tell you about soon.

Do you know what’s missing from all of these conversations about sexualization?

The idea of intimacy.

Remember that?

Opening yourself up and becoming vulnerable to another person. The idea that friendship and emotional connection are an important part of a sexual relationship. Actually, I’d argue the most important part.

Because, really, without intimacy, what exactly is the point?

Otherwise, you are just using another person the same way you could theoretically be using your right hand. And wouldn’t that be easier anyway? (Yes, I went there, I’m not apologizing.)

Yet, our pop culture seems to be trying to completely divorce the connection between intimacy and sex today.

The two highest paid actresses on TV, Kaley Couco and Sofia Vergara, are playing highly sexualized characters.

My kids can’t watch a football game with their father on a Sunday afternoon without seeing commercials for erectile dysfunction medication, Victoria Secret, and prime time network shows that talk about the ideas of threesomes and one night stands (Thank you Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory).

I don’t want my children to become de-sensitized to sex. Not because I’m a prude (which I’m actually not), but because sex is a sensitive, intimate experience.

You can’t experience intimacy in a casual relationship because those two ideas are opposing forces. Intimacy is a bond that develops over time and is based on trust, commitment and compassion, none of which are casual.

Do you know what is funny?

Today I was looking for stock images of “sexy” as part of another project, and in my Googling I noticed something.

In all of the photos where the couples seemed to actually be in believable intimate, personal relationships (you know, the kind of “sexy” worth having), they all had their clothes on. They weren’t even engaged in any explicit sexual activity. Yet those were the photos that made me feel like I was intruding on some sort of private moment.

Intimacy is powerful and special. See for yourself.

This is what ~~sexy~~ intimacy looks like.

It looks like actually enjoying the company of another person so much that you are comfortable enough to be completely at ease.

It looks like text messages that say, “I’m so glad you landed safely. How are you feeling after that flight? I was watching the air currents on the internet and I saw it was probably pretty rough. I know how much you hate airplanes.”

It looks like folding piles of laundry while watching late night movies on the couch.

It looks liked shared secrets and inside jokes.

It looks like taking care of the needs of another person and allowing him/her to take care of you, too.

It looks like spending every day with your best friend. Because that’s what it is.

Why would we ever run away from that? Especially to turn towards something much less gratifying?

There is a misconception floating around out there among our youth that these kinds of relationships are boring.

They aren’t. There is nothing sexier in the world than a person who has seen you at your very worst and still chooses to love you every day anyway.

Sex is only a small part of intimacy, but intimacy is the most important part of sex.

So, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if we are to believe most of the images on tv and movies and the articles in Cosmo- we’re having sex wrong. We took the most important part away. How can that possibly be satisfying?

The thirst will just never be quenched, because we are missing that essential part: the intimate part.

You don’t drink beer while you run a marathon. Even though beer might seem fun and make you feel good for a minute in certain situations, it will not sustain you on a longer, more strenuous journey.

Casual sex is like cheap beer. Intimacy with another person is like water. It sustains us through the most difficult circumstances.

I want my children (and yours) to grow up with a healthy idea of what “sexy” means. We can’t do that until we bring the idea of intimacy back into our conversations about sex.

We can’t just have clinical discussions about which part goes where and the mechanics of how that works.

We have to recognize that part of what makes us human is our ability to form deep emotional connections.

And then we have to give ourselves permission to do that.

So let’s do it.

Let’s bring intimacy back.

How to Tell If Your Child Is Gifted

July 24, 2014 By: Stephanie11 Comments

Deposit Photo

I have a feeling this post may be like opening up Pandora’s box and I want to first be clear that my intention is not to offend parents. Of course, every child has her/her own special talents, the things that make us unique. Right now I’m talking about being academically gifted.

How should I know? My credentials: I have a master’s degree in education, an additional gifted specialist certification, and I served for a few years as a gifted teacher in Florida’s public schools before staying home with my own kids. I spent my summers in trainings about identifying gifted learners. I’ve also been published in the Gifted Educational Press quarterly. Often, other parents will come to me and ask if I think their children may be gifted. So, if you are wondering the same thing, here are some points to consider…

How To Tell If Your Child Is Gifted

A few things to know about gifted learners:

1. What we think of as “smart” is not always the same as gifted. Neither is high-achieving. Getting straight A’s is awesome, but it does not necessarily mean a child is intellectually gifted. He/she might just be very motivated and work really hard- and that’s great too! Actually, sometimes gifted learners do not perform well in school at all for any number of reasons including not being stimulated enough, not liking authority, or knowing the correct answers but simply refusing to do the classwork.

2. Ask yourself, “Does ability match performance?” Often gifted kids are the ones who seem like they are not paying attention, are disruptive and uninterested, but can still get every answer right on a test. Many gifted children actually struggle in school and get bad grades because they lack motivation. On the other hand, some gifted children can earn excellent grades seemingly without even trying, it just comes naturally to them.

3. Gifted children can be socially awkward. They sometimes prefer the company of adults instead of their same-age peers.

4. Making up secret languages or talking in nonsense words on purpose is a sign of giftedness.

5. When I was working as a gifted teacher, in order to be considered academically gifted a child would need to have an IQ at least two standard deviations above the mean. That means IQ test results of 130 or higher.

6. Gifted children very often have a heightened sense of empathy. They hear about global problems like hunger and feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. This can, understandably, be very overwhelming for a young child.

If you think your child may be gifted:

Supplementing academics with fun brain puzzles like Sudoku is a great idea. If your child often completes school assignments much faster than his/her classmates, ask the teacher if you can send in a book of crosswords or math puzzles for your child to keep in his or her desk and do while waiting for classmates to complete their work.
Discuss current events in an age-appropriate way. Find a newspaper article or a website that does not contain graphic pictures and read it with your child. Let her develop her own opinion about it and ask why she feels that way. I utilized Time for Kids this way in my classroom.
It is important to remember that just because children can do something, does not mean that they should. Even if your first grader is able to read the dialogue in Romeo and Juliet, strongly consider whether or not to let him do that just yet. Adult themes in literature are not always appropriate for young children. Particularly graphic or violent scenes in books or movies can very negatively affect those children with that heightened sense of empathy.
Ask your child’s teacher if the text books used in the classroom have accompanying websites that can be used to supplement the curriculum at home.
Journaling with your child can give you some great insights into his or her mind and personality. Use a marble notebook and have your child draw a picture or write you a letter on one side, then draw or write a similar letter to your child on the other side. This also makes a great keepsake!
Connecting with other parents of gifted children also helps. See if there are any private Facebook groups for families of gifted children in your area. Joining them can lead to some lasting friendship and give you much-needed support.

If you need additional resources, The National Association for Gifted Children (http://www.nagc.org/) is a great place to start.

You might also want to check out:

Sensory Processing Disorder: I know it IS real

June 26, 2014 By: Stephanie90 Comments

Yesterday I saw a link on the HuffPost Parents Facebook page. It linked to this article on New Republic, disputing whether or not Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is real or “sheer quackery” (their words). At first I just rolled my eyes and clicked away. But then I woke up this morning feeling like our story needed to be told because I am fortunate enough to have a platform for my son’s voice.

Nicholas was diagnosed with SPD a few years ago when he first started working with an occupational therapist. He is 7 now. We have lived with this disorder for almost five years. I have no medical training. I am just a mom. But I’m also a teacher with a master’s degree in education that included several graduate level courses in child development. I know with certainty the difference between “normal” childhood behaviors and what I see exhibited by my son. This is what Sensory Processing Disorder is:

It’s a two-year-old who can sit on a Sit-N-Spin for literally hours and never get dizzy.

It’s wearing Halloween shirts in May because they are the only ones that are not “too itchy.”

It’s hating every activity that requires the wearing of socks.

It’s not using the crock pot anymore because the smells are just too overwhelming.

It’s explaining to your other children why they are in trouble for their behavior, even though they have seen their brother do the same thing a hundred times without consequence. “Because you know he can’t help it, but you can.”

It’s living in fear of every paper cut and sunburn because they will be met with the same intensity as a broken bone.

It’s constantly hearing the question, “Is he autistic?” from strangers of whose business it really is none.

It’s sometimes just offering, “Yes. He’s autistic.” as an explanation in awkward situations because more than one doctor has said he may be on the spectrum, but they can’t diagnose him officially because he is too social. At least “autistic” is a word the people with the questions usually understand.

It’s worrying if you will be able to register for kindergarten because your four-and-a-half-year-old is still not potty trained at all.

It’s tears for two hours when sand sticks to sunscreen at the beach.

It’s empathy training from the guidance counselor for a classroom full of children who don’t understand why he gets to sit on a special chair and they don’t, or why he gets extra time on the swings at recess.

It’s being more worried about your now seven-year-old putting small objects in his mouth than you are about your toddler.

It’s holding down your screaming child for an enema for the third time this month so that he doesn’t get fecal poisoning from refusing to poop.

It’s being in the emergency room at midnight because, despite your efforts, your toddler has held his stool for so long that it has gotten severely impacted and is causing colon spasms so bad that they were at first mistaken for a ruptured appendix.

It’s calling every therapist in your county until you find the only one willing to see a toddler.

It’s paying $100/hour out-of-pocket to have someone recommend children’s books like “It Hurts When I Poop” and play in sand tables.

It’s toothpaste that is too spicy and ice cream that is too cold.

It’s a whole stack of envelopes on an understanding teacher’s desk. Ones that contain notes that say, “Read this, then smile at me and send me back to class.” to give special tasks to a child who just needs to get away from all the people for a minute. Delivering a “very important message” to the nurse or the school secretary can be an inconspicuous way to do so.

It’s giving permission to have your child pulled out of class by the school custodian to be mentored and do heavy work, like pushing the bucket of mop water, for a few minutes.

It’s weighted vest and blankets and chewable jewelry.

It’s checking every morning to make sure the sensory brush is in the backpack right beside the lunch box.

It’s getting very strange looks when you start brushing the arms and legs of your tantruming child in public.

It’s making up excuses to avoid birthday parties because you know they will be too overwhelming, and you don’t want your child’s behavior to take the focus off of the birthday boy or girl.

It’s two full-grown adults wrestling a child for 20 minutes to get eye drops in one eye.

It’s well-meaning adults suggesting that you medicate him for ADHD, but it’s just not that simple. There is no medicine that takes away the smells and the sounds and the feelings.

It’s avoiding trimming hair and nails until the last possible second.

It’s the terror that accompanies every bloody lost tooth and the empty space in the mouth that doesn’t feel good anymore.

It’s never, ever getting a good night’s sleep because there is no such thing as comfortable.

Most importantly,

It is very, very real.

Updated to add: Some parents have expressed an interest in wanting to know where they can find the chewable jewelry I mentioned. It is sometimes called “chewelry” and it is available on Amazon or through online stores that specialize in Autism and sensory seeking behavior. If you are looking for chewelry for your child, you can find some through my Amazon affiliate link here:Chewelry

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I would also love to have you follow my Occupational Therapy Ideas board on Pinterest.

Follow Binkies and Briefcases’s board Occupational Therapy Ideas on Pinterest.

This post contains an Amazon affiliate link.

Affordable Summer Activities for Kids

June 25, 2014 By: Stephanie1 Comment

You don’t have to spend a fortune or spend hours scouring Pinterest to make great summer memories with your kids. Some of our favorite things to do are cheap and simple. Here are some of our favorite affordable summer activities for kids, no special crafting skills necessary:

Free

1. Our library system has a great summer program. They partner with the county parks and arrange a geo-caching type of treasure hunt. Kids get a book full of maps and clues go around to local parks trying to find the stamp that the library has hidden in each park. They do a stamp rubbing in their book. Once they have collected a certain amount of stamps, they can cash in for a prize. Our library also has a whole calendar of events that they sponsor throughout the summer. Yours probably does too!

2. Geocaching is basically like treasuring hunting. People hide little trinkets and you try to find them and/or leave things for other people to find. There are some great Geocaching sites all around the country.

3. You could always just go to the local park. That’s free too.

4. The hose. (Hook it up to a sprinkler if you are fancy. When my kids were toddlers I would just take them into the back yard in diapers and hose them off. They loved it.)

5 & 6. See if there are any airshows or truck touches in your area. These were a big hit when Nick was little and they are usually free.

7. Frisbee is always fun.

8. Or if you are lucky enough to live near the water like our families, fishing and crabbing are great memory makers.

9. There is also a completely FREE summer camp in our area called Tennis For Kids. This is the first year one of my kids is old enough to participate. It’s for kids ages 7-16 and they meet three times a week. They have more than 20 locations in central PA. Nick is loving it.

$1 -$5

10 & 11.The dollar store has great summer activities! Our favorites are bubbles and sidewalk chalk.

12. Regal Cinemas offers a fabulous summer movies program. Dates vary by location, but the movies start at 10am and each ticket only costs $1. Kids under 2 are usually free. We like doing this on rainy days. I can get myself and all of my kids into a movie for $4 and change.

13. Sometimes we go to McDonald’s or Chick-Fil-A and get ice cream from the value menu and the kids get to play on the playground there for a while.

14. Berry picking is one of our favorite activities. This year the strawberries at our favorite spot are $2.20 per pound. You could pick a couple of pounds for under $5. We like to do blueberries too.

15. The kids also love helping to make (and eat!) frozen desserts. My grandmother’s chocolate snowball recipe is our favorite.

What else do you like to do for less than $5 in the summer?

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My grandma’s chocolate snowball recipe

June 20, 2014 By: Stephanie9 Comments

This was the very first recipe I ever learned to make. I remember being in my Mommom’s kitchen and helping to stir it up. I remember constantly opening the freezer door to see if it was ready.

I cannot go through a single summer without making it for my own kids.

I asked once where the recipe came from. Mommom said that she invented it decades ago. She read about something similar in the newspaper, but it had much fancier ingredients, ones that she couldn’t afford, so she made do with what she had.

The result became a family tradition. I love that it perfectly embodies every memory I have of her: simple, modest, but totally satisfying and full of love. And fun for kids.

There are only two ingredients. She named it Chocolate Snowball because it was chocolate and it was cold.

It does not matter what kind of milk you use.

Empty one can of chocolate syrup into a square freezer-safe baking dish. Then add one can of milk and one can of water. (Mommom used two cans of milk. My Aunt Charlotte modifies it to 1 can of milk and 1 can of water and I tend to do the same so that I don’t waste as much milk, plus it makes the end result easier to serve.)

Have some helpers stir for a few minutes until everything is evenly combined.

Clear out a level surface in your freezer and very carefully transfer it there to freeze for at least 4-6 hours, preferably overnight.

To serve, use a sharp knife to cut thin strips, then break each strip into small chunks and spoon into a dessert glass.

It is almost similar to a chocolate Italian Ice from Rita’s.

The customers are always happy.

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